That argument again.

As far as what you spend your free time doing, you do what you each like to do. It doesn't matter if he thinks what you like is pointless and you think what he likes is pointless, it's what you two like to do. With this subject you two should be able to relate to each other. You don't like it when he tells you that the websites you like are pointless and if you told him his video games are pointless, I'm sure he doesn't appreciate that either. If the reason you feel that each other's hobbies are "pointless," is actually a problem that lays deeper, (such as you want to do something with each other instead of just your solo hobbies) then you would need to address this into the argument. My only suggestion for the "equitable division of labor" is to make a chart together based on a point system. Measure how difficult each of your jobs are, decide wheather money should play a role in the points, (I personally don't think money should be included) And then measure out how many points each household chore should be, errands and anything else that should be added to this chart. Make sure you decide what each job, chore or errand's point value should be together so that it is fair. After that tally up the chores, job, and errands and see who has more points. Men are very visual, he won't be able to argue something in front of his face.

Those are such common and pointless arguments in marriages, relationships. When I was married, I really did not mind doing a good share of the housework. I liked cleaning and I liked cooking. I think I did way more than 50% of the household chores and I was fine with it for the most part. What would get me going would be if I was too busy to do something and he just expected it as if it were MY job. We had children too and so yes, there were times that it was too much. The children and the home are a shared responsibility. There should be no gender boundaries on the chores involved to keep things running smoothly. While I did the dishes MOST of the time simply because I didn't mind, if I couldn't then he should rather than complain just do them. It should be two people working together to keep the home running smoothly. As for spare time activities...to each his own.

Sounds to me like one is trying to control the other. Solution:Equitable division of labor. Simple, when you work, carry a timer. Equal hours regardless of the type of work until it's all done. Next, allow your partner the freedom to do their pointless activities if that's what they want to do. Schedule time for things you can enjoy together. Apart is good, but together should always be close to your hearts. With a good plan, everything you really want to do can get done.

We have the first argument all the time! I think that both of us just need to realize that just because they don't do as much as we feel they should does not mean that they are not doing their best. I get irritated because he spends so much time in the garage half the time I feel like I'm a single mom because he's either at work, asleep, in the bathroom or working in the garage. When do I get help cleaning the house, bathing the kids, taking our daughter to dance doing laundry, cooking, and playing with our kids. I'm not the only one. I completely understand how you feel. I feel like he spends too much time in the garage & he thinks I spend too much time on here or facebook. I also spend a lot of time scrap booking and looking up stuff for our wedding (which of course any guy could care less about - they want the marriage what cake or dress or decorations don't matter to them) How do we make sure the arguments don't come up is a very good question! I think trying to think how you'd feel in the others shoes! That's my best guess. Doing that has helped us not fight for the last couple days so we'll see. Good Luck and let me know if it works for you

Arguing on the same point is fruitful provided the merit it deserves. For example if it's an argument on any political situation , personalities , subjects like economics etc. An argument between the husband and the wife rarely gets anywhere mainly due to the nature of the relationship. An argument over and again on the same matter involves covering the subject from various angles and thus one can come out with a number of useful points. Every aspect gets covered , and one can ponder whether anything's has been left out. Therefore , the subject matter , the forum and the people participating in the argument are of vital importance. The wife enjoys playing on sites like this while the husband plays video games. There's no point arguing on these worthless matters. It's like one enjoys fruits while the other not. There's no end to arguments but no use in arguing over small daily household aspects over and again , which is a waste of time and really gets one nowhere.