Get a Divorce or Get Even.?

I don't consider you in that group because you know that you don't want to get married, so that tells me that you have an understanding to what a marriage means to both parties. Both people should be committed or not get married. People do it all the time, they life together until it doesn't work anymore, or the just say single and date, because they know that the don't want a commitment and the is okay. At least the parties are aware of what each other wants and accept that in each other. Also nobody drives another person to commit adultery, that is crap. That is just an excuse. When a marriage breaks down and there is no hope it is time to divorce. Having said all that I do believe a person can make a mistake once, and I would probably forgive my husband, but not if he did it the second time. The whole concept of marriage is being destroyed with all this infidelity, pretty soon it will be obsolete.

that is what people want marriage to be, but marriage is a legal concept in the USA and Canada, if you are not married living together and faithful it is a common law marriage but not a true legal marriage with all the legal benefits. Many people think common law marriages give them all the rights legally as a legal marriage does and then they are very disappointed when they go to the attorneys and the court system and find out that they are not entitled to half the stuff they thought they were entitled to.

Yes I had this drawn out discussion with a member here about this legal thing.And I told her I am not with my guy for his money. And I rather have him than a house. If I were into money I would sell myself into a marriage with a rich man. The best thing to do is to draw out a will and leave everything to each other. Sure the greedy family may try to contest it but they will have to get a lawyer !

Wow! I guess I see it this way, if I married him , I'm already down at his level.So since I wouldn't be sleeping with him, why not have a " favorite"?

A favorite, sweetie? Divorce him, then you can have your favorite.

Well.... Now that you mention it, we could help him along you know. Favorites sounds like a good hobby to me.

No I won't. If I Could have gotten even and I didn't, I wouldn't forgive myself. I would feel useless. The proper revenge doesn't have to be a true affair. In fact I rather make him feel I was sleeping with Everyone Save him but in reality I am not sleeping with Anyone.

I couldn't see how to mix love with marriage!

I like the idea of both. It sounds so sweet. How did evil ex learn to be so evil?

From a friend of her's husband. It's a long story, believe me. They were an older couple and she got involved with them and I did not want anything to do with them. But to keep the peace I hung out with them also. I never got personal or anything. It seems that she got real personal about everything in out marriage. And long story short, everything was done behind my back. But like they say, what goes around, comes around.

To go to counseling and to forgive means you see a future. But that is another post. Of these two " bad" choices which would you pick?

Revenge is old fashioned, Forgiveness is new fashioned. And for many it is so hard.

The Proper Revenge doesn't backfire nor does it hurt you , only them. For many having their own affair will backfire, But there are other ways to get even. One way Is wiping him out in a divorce.

This happened to you ? Thanks for responding.I'm glad you left and you are now happy.

Divorce, right?

I am not.If I married , my worth disappears. Once married I Would be stuck and the war of wills would begin. So of course I would get him back Any way I can. But if we are not married and Iam free to be me, I would just leave. Obviously he is bored with me and I want him to be happy.