The kids are going to visit their grandpa tomorrow for the last time...

It is always a sad time when someone passes away and I guess it is even worse when it happens at Christmas, it puts a bit of a downer on the whole festive season, its a goos learning in life for kids to say goodbye to someone, this was all hidden from me when I was a kid but I think it is preparation in life for kids to be involved, so long as things are talked about and explained with much compassion.

That so sad to hear..A love ones that is dying and Christmas is approaching.I don't have a kid,I think it is so hard for kids to see someone who is dying and maybe could cause trauma.But if the kids is brave enough and you think that they can handle and understand the situation well,maybe they could visit.Even some adults don't want to see someone who is in great pain or dying.It is really hard and can break one's heart.Painful but have to accept to move on in life.

Hi katsmeow, I am sorry to hear about your father-in-law, I pray that everything will turn out well in favor of the grandkids. I have never had a situation like that before. But put God first and He will lead you and the kids on the right path. I pray that the father-in-law will leave this world knowing that he was loved and cared for by all of you. May God bless you all.

I've never had to bring my kids to anybody dying. Even family! I'm not sure how they will handle it. They are very close to immediate family, so if it's anybody close, I'm sure it would affect them tremendously. I hope they don't have to go through it while they are young though.

My mom took me out of school to go to a "living memorial" in hospice while my grandfather was in a coma and within a few hours of the family leaving he passed on. We had over 40 people in this one room. We all shared memories and cried. I was glad I was there and not at school. I would not have focused at school anyway. I also missed a kind of unimportant day since I was a freshmen in many sophomore classes and sophomores were taking a state test.

No. I haven't have such an incident. Thank to God because I know it is not an easy situation to handle. The best thing is preparing you children before they see their granfather, tell them what to expect and the possibilities. Otherwise, hope all goes well.

My mom passed away November 25, 2004. I always believed that she was trying hard to hang on until Christmas. She even asked me once if Christmas was "soon" and I had to tell her it was about a month away. She just sighed. She loved the holidays and found it very hard getting through them after we lost my dad in 1990. I think that she didn't want us to always associate the holidays with her passing. As she was getting to the end, she actually asked me not to bring my daughters to see her any more. She was in unbearable pain and she had a disfiguring tumor on one side of her face. She absolutely did not want them to see her that way - I guess she didn't want them to remember it at all. So, I went every single day and took care of her but I never took my girls. At the time, I didn't think about it because my world was completely upside down and I was living in a daze most of the time. I was just doing what she asked. Thinking back, I wondered if they were ever hurt about not seeing her because they had been so close to her all their lives. So, I just had a conversation with them, brought about by your discussion. It's probably important to mention that they were 14 and 11 when she passed away, so certainly not really small children. They both say they understood why she asked that they not be taken to her but my younger one in particular says that it's always been very hard for her to accept and rationalize that Grandma passed away because she just never saw her again... it was like she disappeared. The older one says she is glad she can remember her grandmother when she was healthy and happy. So, it really seems like it's independent to each child. I do believe kids are much more resilient than we ever give them credit for. I think they can handle things where we deem them too young or too inexperienced - simply because we're protecting them. Is your FIL in a position to want to see all the kids? Has he asked to see them or does he understand they will be there? Even if the grandparent is terminal but they are communicative and able to interact a bit with the child(ren), I think that makes a big difference. Part of the reason my mom didn't want the kids around her was that the pain in her head affected her ability to even be able to have a conversation or to comprehend what was being said. I think it's important to respect what the ill person asks, first and foremost. I'm really sorry for your family that you will have to go through this, particularly close to the holidays, katsmeow. You know your kids better than anyone and, if you feel they can handle the visit, you're probably completely right.

That's tough. I hope you guys get some pictures. Or I don't know, maybe it would be better if you didn't. I hope things go well for everyone involved.

Both my parents.....my kids went to say goodbye....and no, they didn't handle it well. I also remember my grandfather's last Christmas....he was dying from cancer and we gathered around his bed of Christmas too..he gave each one of us a special gift. I still have mine. It was a charm bracelet.....with one charm. A heart with my name engraved on it and my birthstone....I cherish it. I hope all goes well for the kids.....such a sadness at Christmas! My thoughts are with your whole family!

hi katsmeow,im sorry to hear that..my mother inlaw also is very sick and we are also planning to held a special birthday party for her..for the last time, she is suffering from stomach cancer and according to doctors she wont live for too long and 1 year is too long for her to survive so we are always gathering in her house and taking her to her favorite restaurant ...

hi catsmeow I do not think this is too great an idea for really little kids at all, an I would not do that if a close relative was dying as Iwould rather they remembered he or she as they were before they are deathly ill. I have never done that nor would I ever.older children yes as they understand but little ones no not at all.

I haven't done that. I wonder how they would handle it. Both my mom and R's dad passed away unexpectedly, so I haven't been in that situation.

Wow I am so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you & your family. I will keep you all in my prayers. When we knew for sure that my mom was dying my sister took her two little ones to say goodbye. She explained as best she could what was going on. They still mention my Mom every once in a while but for the most part they handled it pretty well. I think the fact that they are still very young helped.

if children are lucky if you can meet their grandfather for the last,my child can not meet with his grandmother when breathed his last, they look sad to see his grandmother lying lifeless stiff when we've got there

You are doing the right thing for your children, and your whole family is in my prayers.