How do you deal with your kids when they lie to you?

well I'll be the first to say it. We spank our children. I was spanked as a child, as was my husband. We give our children 3 warnings before spanking them. I have a big problem with my youngest, who is 4, brushing his teeth and changing his underwear. He knows that if I get to the count of 3 he will get a spanking, so usually on 2 he'll go do it. Of course he cries and throws a fit all the way there because he doesn't want to do what needs to be done. I don't spank my children all the time and I don't BEAT my children, so let's get that straight right up front. I do however, discipline them when they do wrong or lie. We also have a rewards chart for the boys that have things like brush my teeth, make my bed, no whining, no talking back, say please and thank you etc. If they get a full week of good behavior I'll give them a treat like ice cream or something like that.

I have heard of 'credit point system' told by a child psychiatrist.It goes like this. Put up a chart with some points say 10 points.Whenever she behaves well and does some good things add some points and give a star and do the vise versa if she does some wrong.For e.g if she has done her brushing, changed my underwear, put her used clothes in the laundry bag all this will give her credit points.Of course her education also will carry credit points specially if she gets a good feedback from her teacher. Debit will be done for all her misbehaviours, telling lies, spending more time on computers etc.Now comes the important part. Redeeming the points..she can redeem it for some toys or books anything of her choice etc only after she accumulates some points say 100.And try to praise her (infront of ur parents or her siblings) if she gets more credits.You really have to be little generous in redeeming with gifts option atleast to start with. This will be more effective and as days pass by she will surely get more focused on getting credit points and stars.

Personally in my opinion, this would be time for Time out, and teach them the reasoning about why Lying is wrong. Teach them that people feel better when they tell the truth, and show them good reasons in being able to do so. Punishing them in time out makes them think more about what they did to get them there as well.

I mix a little bit of everything! As much as I want to do the 'time-out' all the time, I sometimes can't help to do the 'spanking' as I've grown with this kind of punishment as a kid. I've read one response here about the 'credit-point' system which I do with my kids when they do something good.

The question at that age is.. is it a lie or partly fantasy? Is it a way to get attention or is she afraid. I think there are many reasons to tell a lie. Also a fact is that adults lie most of the time so we are not a great example if it comes to it. I talk nearly daily with my kids about lies, cheating, not being honest. Also I tell them it's hard to be honest since people don't appreciate it if you tell the truth and you won't make friends with it, if you say the truth to your parents they still get angry (if you lie they are angry too) and if I say (as an adult) the truth, no matter in what way they mostly don't believe me. Why? Because people only believe what they like to believe. I don't think spanking them is a solution. Ask yourself first if you are able to appreciate it if she is telling you the truth. If you can handle that without getting angry. Next talk it over with her, say you feel sad or disappointed she is not trusting you. BTW my youngest are 6 and 8 years old.

You need to explain your daughter that it is not good to lie.You have to help her in doing chores and appreciate her every time she does good.

All children are copy-cats, They naturally copy their parents in everything they do and everything they say! How many parents have allowed their children to believe that there is a Santa Clause? Why would parents tell this lie to their kids, and then punish them for a little untruth? Children always know much more than they are given credit for. Many Parents do not!

oh dear, that would be a little hard. okay, try to tell her that when someone smells her breath- probably that person might faint (hehehe) I hope it works. Yah,sometimes it's hard to train small kids when it comes to these things. Thanks, I never had any problem with kids teaching them personal hygiene. The moment they can take care of themselves- they're very responsible with it.

Even I'm still single, it's okey that I give my opinions? If you are believers, I'm sure that what you believed told about a sin, heaven and hell.Right? You may use that to her, and if you ever teach her about it.I believe there is a little affraid on her.