White elephant gift exchanges / myLot

Shingle Springs, California

December 15, 2011 9:16pm CST

So I got volunteered (again) to organize the department Christmas party. Once again the mgmt. wanted to have a white elephant gift exchange, and several of the non-mgmt people didn't. I've only done one once. Three years ago I flew down south to the party down there, and was one of the last people to select. I picked a really nice gift basket with chocolates, but unfortunately the next person stole it. So I picked again and ended up with a candle.

Well I probably should have gone and stolen something that I liked better, but I really didn't feel comfortable doing that, so I ended up taking the candle home with me. Oh well. This year one of the people came straight out and asked the entire group if the gifts were going to be decent, or totally useless junk. I replied, "I don't know about you, but I was going to get a food item, maybe something from Harry and David's. Hopefully that isn't useless." My manager replied that, of course, people had different tastes, but if you didn't like what you got, that's why we did the stealing thing. Then another co-worker said he wasn't going to participate. For one thing he had been at one a few years ago, and the way people behaved with the stealing thing, some people ended up with hurt feelings. Also, he really didn't need any more "things". My manager replied again, and said the gift exchange was optional. I think I'll still do it, but I just don't see myself "stealing". I don't know why, but I just don't like that whole thing. Have you guys done one of these gift exchanges before? What do you think of them?

1 person likes this

14 responses

vanny

@vandana7 (100302)

• India

16 Dec 11

I think the whole idea of gifting needs to be revamped. Gift should be something that does not pinch our pockets - we should be willing to give rather than - oh so this season I have to buy something for that person. That destroys the spirit of gifting. Gifting should be something that comes out of heart. It may pinch but there should be no regrets. So if I go shopping and I see something that I feel my friend would love, I can choose to save up for it, or forego a dress and buy it for her this once. I wouldnt need an ocassion to gift her that. Her birthday may be months away, her marriage anniversary too. But that she is thought of and understood is what matters. Not doing it like formality! I know papa consults people about how much should be given at marriages and functions. I feel sad that we have come to this stage. One of my aunts used to buy sarees regularly. She allowed her children to wear them a couple of times, and finally, before returning to India, she would clean the saree to almost make it look new without washing it. These sarees were then given away to her nieces, sisters, and sisters-in-laws. She on the other hand received nice sarees from people out here, and so did her children. I keep wondering if these people knew what sort of exchange was happening.

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vanny

@vandana7 (100302)

• India

16 Dec 11

And here is something for Dawny to opine on - because you seem so rational. We buy gifts right? We buy them in our budget. We often do not like what we buy. But we buy them because we have to gift them. Effectively, we create a false demand for goods that nobody wants! Example - table clocks. We let resources move in that direction, and in the process, other things become tad expensive. So why dont we let everybody purchase what they want instead of buying them what we dont want, and what they dont want, and eventually running short of cash to buy what we want? Got it?

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vanny

@vandana7 (100302)

• India

16 Dec 11

Come on..take for example corporate gifts..they stink. Each year, we used to order some gifts that nobody wanted but we felt we were doing our duty by giving them. Which person drawing say 50000 would want a gift worth 100 or 150 to be displayed on his table? We are talking about a lot of junk here. Out here, we also have annual general meetings of companies. People who attend them are given gifts like trays and buckets or whatever depending upon the nature of the company. Is it necessary? A couple of months later they are there. I dont know what to do with them! I stopped attending meetings. I thoroughly agree with you about "I also think that if you are going to give a gift it should be to someone you want to give a gift to and you should try to get them something they want or can at least make use of". And yes, stealing undermines..

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hvedra

@hvedra (1619)

•

16 Dec 11

What she said!

I'm also concerned about the "stealing" thing, it undermines any kindness or generosity that is there in the first place. I can see why people get upset because it is more the spirit of meaness and bad will than anything else. Who wants that kind of atmosphere at a party?

I also think that if you are going to give a gift it should be to someone you want to give a gift to and you should try to get them something they want or can at least make use of. In the UK they reckon 1 in 10 gifts are not what the recipient wants or can use and that's a lot of junk.

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@celticeagle (167015)

• Boise, Idaho

16 Dec 11

I have never done one but it sounds like the general mentality of people today. At my last job we drew names if we wanted to. And it sounds like a garage sale. One person's trash is another person's treasure. I'm feeling rather Scroogey lately. Got all our shopping done though.

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