I love someone else...
By laydee
@laydee (12798)
Philippines
December 19, 2011 12:50am CST
What would you do if your partner (husband or wife) would tell you that he/she realized that he/she isn't ready for a commitment and wishes to be free because he/she loves someone else.
Note that you are married and have 2 very young kids.
My friend is in this situation and I honestly couldn't advise her on the matter.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@neel_ahuja (125)
• India
20 Dec 11
if she is this time really in love with someone else then she shoul go for it according to me.this is because with love she wont be happy.and also if her/his partner really loves her and understands her he/she would let her/him go.
on the ending note she/he should listen to her mind/heart/inner concious and do accordingly.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
22 Dec 11
I think this is the main thought as to why people separate immediately. They always look at what they want and never consider that these decisions affect people who didn't really have a choice but to be there (the kids).
I know I cannot do anything about it. Neither could I force them to be together. I am just sad for the kids and what they'll go through.
@brittanya19 (21)
• United States
19 Dec 11
Well you wouldnt want to stay in a relationship where the other person no longer loves you in the same way. Your friend will just have to stay strong and move on from that person (as hard as it is). Both parents would need to do whats best for the children and not let their differences get in the way. Sometimes marriage doesnt work out. But your friend will realize that she is happy he told her because other wise their marriage would be based on a love thats not there anymore. Your friend will be fine. Tell her to take some time and focus on her and her kids (not her ex). just make sure you let her know that she has people who care. My neibor's husband just left her for her best friend and she's been very depressed latley. Theres not much you can do but be her friend and comfort her.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
22 Dec 11
It's really sad. I know she should move on, but it really makes me cry whenever I see her kids. They are close to me and they are so innocent. I know they will not get over their parents separating, it just wouldn't be the same. I just hope that she will be strong, and the kids would be strong. They're just too young to be through these things. 
I hope people would think first before plunging into marriage. I hope they would not treat it as just a piece of paper. There are people involved here, when you commit - you give up your self-centered ways.
I just really sad tonight. Thanks for the response.
I hope people would think first before plunging into marriage. I hope they would not treat it as just a piece of paper. There are people involved here, when you commit - you give up your self-centered ways.
I just really sad tonight. Thanks for the response.
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
It is hard i believe..as someone married to, i could not imagine the pain if hubby will tell me that.. I might have kill him or hunt for that other girl... its crazy..
1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
Hello Laydee, It's one of the major reasons why I might not settle down in marriage, because these are the times where you have no choice but to let her or him go if the partner doesn't want you anymore. even with kids, the children will have no choice but to live a life where they're parents are separated. I am not Open minded to have a broken family.It would certainly be a failure of me as a Husband.
1 person likes this
@rbjat4589 (104)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
If i was in that situation I would talk it out with my partner and solve the problem right then and there. If he is not happy anymore and want to escape with family life then let him be. But after talking it out with him gather all the members of the family and talk about the plan and the arrangement with the kids. Let them understand the situation so that they wont be bitter or angry witg you and wont blame themselves for what is happening. The children are the ones who is suffering in this situation so it is much better if you arrange ways to suit them and would make them feel being loved and taken care of.
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
If I were to stand in your situation, I would tell my friend to let the spouse go. What is the use for a couples of staying together if they don't love each other anymore. Sadly, there are two kids being involved here and their future will be in jeopardy.
1 person likes this
@eljayo (1105)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
Hi! This is a difficult situation for her. Well she must at least try to find out why this happened and do something about it before it is final. If he still wants to go separate ways then there is nothing she can do but let him go. If she tried everything to put things back together she won't regret it because at least she tried. I hope his husband will realize the importance of a complete family for his children.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
I think she's doing everything she can to keep the family together. Though I think she's really confused if she should just let him go or not. I think the husband is just a self-centered fool. He wasn't forced to marriage, he decided on his own, but now he feels he wasn't ready.
I think one big part here is the fact that there is someone else in his life. That someone who doesn't care about family nor kids.
I do hope that she would be strong enough. It's always sad when a marriage doesn't last, most especially when there are kids (young kids at that) involved.
Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
