giving is a waste..
By jazel_juan
@jazel_juan (15746)
Philippines
December 19, 2011 6:59pm CST
I didn't utter these words..
I was preparing last night for the clothes to be donated. I sorted out my clothes and found items i am not going to use anymore, i actually do not have that much clothes but there are clothes that i rarely use, since i am someone who use my clothes over and over again, i know those clothes can be donated..so i did set it aside.
I then sorted my hubby's and i told him and showed him the clothes particularly t-shirts he is not wearing, these are very good shirts in good shape and i know can be donated.. and he can buy any if he wants to..and i know i can just buy any if i want to so i told him to just give it away...and he knows how much i want to help.
I then sorted my children's, i showed them what clothes they would want, since they closet is over flowing with clothes! I asked which they want to keep and which they can part with. My daughter asked me why i am doing these and i explained to the two of them, my 4 year old and her.. i told them a typhoon hit an area here and needs help. There are children now with no clothes, no even a blanket and these clothes they would not be wearing will be a great help..plus its christmas, my kids will be getting a lot of gift i bet. So they happily gave me their clothes they wont be wearing. Some are even branded ones that are too small for them already and i am glad they parted with it without hesitation.
Then i know what i gathered were not yet enough, i then went to my sister in law and told her if she has spare ones..she has two kids all growing up and might have spare ones too... and i know she is a collector of clothes, i saw her closet. Anyways, i was surprised by her answer.. she said "sayang" i was surprised by this. I mean why "sayang'? sayang means.. it is a waste to give. So she did not give and i did not pester her more.
I am disappointed and sad about it. I know she has many clothes..and i know she aint using all of it.. I am someone who was never selfish, i give what i can..and hubby knows it thats why he supported me last night. But i cannot understand why people does not think that way?
3 people like this
9 responses
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
Some people could indeed be selfish. They don't want to part with their belongings, even if it means they have been keeping them in the closet for a long time already.
I also have this habit, that every New Year's Day, i would sort all my clothes, just as my husband and daughter does too. That way, we get to share our clothes that we don't like using anymore, although they are slightly used.
Then, i would bring them to my hometown to let my other sisters get what they like to get and the rest , they will give to the family of our caretakers.
At least, our clothes are not wasted, and enjoyed by other people. 
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
Agree, just a year ago that is what i did. We have this shoes, overgrown by my kids.. since i have three kids..there are bit quite a lot of shoes.. lol especially that of my daughter.. my mom took the shoes and gave to our relatives in the province and my mom said, the happiness of the children who receive the shoes were priceless.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
So you see, even if they are already used shoes, they are really appreciated by children who rarely have them.
@atprudente6 (673)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
I feel bad for your sister. She doesn't know the spirit of giving. I think she also doesn't know that when you give, you are actually gaining from it. Although you do not gain financially, but you gain moral and emotional satisfaction. I hope she would realize it sooner and have a change of heart.
By the way, i commend you for what you are doing. In times like this, we Filipinos should really need to help the others even in our own way. God bless you and have a merry Christmas
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
So true, if there are people who are going to help the victims, it should be us first Filipinos.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
20 Dec 11
I really do not understand your sisters attitude, some people out there depend on the clothing donation of others, I hate to see waste of anything, if soemone can use whatever someone else does not want anymore then that is good... some people here are putting larger items like furniture and such out on their nature strips here for a few days for people who might like them to take, I have put a few things out now and they have disappeared within hours... and just last week a neighbour put a couple of drums from a drum kit out so I went and asked if it was ok to take and they were thrilled, I have given them to a friend who helps kids with music... no waste......
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
I agree..sometimes our "wastes" or excess are other person's treasure. I also could not understand why she does not want to give, she can really buy what she wants.. my brother earns more than decent salary..
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
20 Dec 11
its so sad that your sister can not be as kind as you. that is how my one daughter is that has so much. i dont know where her selfishness came from. i and all my other kids are very giving. sometimes to the point of sacrifice of something we do use but not often. 
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
Oh yes.. i don't know maybe she was born that way. lol.
But as i was gathering the clothes last night, i was speaking to my daughter and explained to her i am giving away her kids. My daughter then said, Mama, pls don't give the beautiful ones! I then told her why? These are small for you,you will make someone happy with your clothes..and it does not fit you. Me and Papa will give you more this Christmas.. and i guess she did understand that because she left without a fuss. I hope she will turn out to be kind too.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
20 Dec 11
I obviously dont know her or her situation but it is sad that she feels that way. Can you imagine if everyone started feeling that way? No one less fortunate would ever have things. How terrible. I dont give much to the people that resell what they got for free but I do give to people that REALLY need things...
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
yes i also give to people who really do not have anything.. like those victims of the typhoon that just happened here in Philippines.. i feel that this season will make it a lot more sad for them.
@bambee2179 (51)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
It's not really waste when you give it to the people who needs it more than you do. This time of the year it is the season of giving and I salute you for being so generous. Maybe your sister in law doesn't see the need of giving or she just don't wanna let go of the things she thinks are important. Merry Christmas. :)
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
I guess she does not see it the way , i or we see it. She is confined to just her own way of thinking..and does not see outside the box.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
21 Dec 11
Perhaps she believes that "Give a man a fish, you feed him for one meal. Teach a man to fish, you feed the person for a lifetime." But this is an emergency. A typhoon hit.
Maybe she is a person who is a clothes addict? She's just using that line so she won't have to give any up. I know many people where I live are tired of giving. Esp. to people who don't even try to get work. Others are afraid to give because if they do, they might not be able to afford food in the future because the economy is so bad.
It's difficult to say. But what goes around comes around. Those who don't give may want some day. I hope you never need help, but if you do, I hope there are many more people like you and fewer like her.
I wonder how she would feel if after a typhoon, no one gave to her. My husband did not want to give food one time. He felt that if we needed some, we would not be given any. He has since chnaged his mind, but he has given things in the past and when he needed help, the people he helped did not help him.
So it is difficult to say why she said that.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
That's really sad then.
I will feel the same way as you did.
But, we cannot force anyone who is "selfish".
Thank to know that you are trying your best to help in every way that you can.
Keep it up my friend
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
20 Dec 11
She may not use nor want those clothes anymore, but selfishly she doesn't want anyone else to have them either. A lot of people feel that if you help people that are less fortunate then you then they will never stop accepting charity & will just expect more hand outs. That may be true for some people, but not all. There are some women who have children where their husband's just up & left them, not giving them any child support whatsoever. This happened to my Mom. For years & years my Father expected my Mom to stay at home, to be a wife & mother which she did, but then when he left where did that leave her? She had to go on welfare, something she hated to do because like a lot of people my Mom believed you had to make your own way in this world. But she had no choice. She had four kids, no husband & no child support. It wasn't long before one of my sister's & I were old enough to get a job which we did & my Mom was finally able to get off of welfare & get a job of her own. My younger sister & brother were in school during the day & my other sister & I were home at night so we could watch them until my Mom got home from work. So the next time your sister in law says the word "sayang", tell her the story about my Mom. I'm sure that she is not the only woman out there that this has happened to.
1 person likes this
