Do you blame other people for your mistakes

@jugsjugs (12967)
December 19, 2011 11:18pm CST
I know that there are lots of people out there that tend to blame other people for their mistakes and the people that have made mistake and caused others upsets, always seem to get away with it.If i have made mistakes then it is me that is to blame, i would never think to blame another person no matter what.
14 people like this
46 responses
sudiptacallingu
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
20 Dec 11
I think I will take advantage of the anonymity of a virtual existence and come out with the truth…yes, I blame others for my mistakes..otherwise I would not be able to survive. I accept that maybe I am weak, but like everybody, I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life…minor and major in equal measure. If I start taking all the blame on myself, I’ll just brood over it, my confidence will hit rock bottom, I wouldn’t know how to react better in similar situations in the future…I would become a nervous wreck. For me, its much better to blame somebody else so that the initial blame is off my shoulder…I feel much better and can sit back and analyze the situation properly and understand clearly my own shortcomings. I then try and work on them so that I don’t repeat mistakes…also I keep certain situations in mind; like maybe I should have said something but I did not and it cost me dearly.
3 people like this
derek_a
@derek_a (10873)
•
20 Dec 11
If I blame people for mistakes I experience in life, it is like I am acknowledging to myself that I had no control and putting the control of my experience into their hands. I am responsible for my experiences, for they would not occur if I was not around. A very Zen way of looking at things.. Another way would be to say, the past is past gone forever never to ruturn and certainly cannot be undone.. What is now is the only reality we have.. No point in attributing blame for something that is no more. To continue blaming anyone for anything at all, doesn't bring peace to the person who keep laying the blame down somewhere else. _Derek
2 people like this
kalav56
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
21 Dec 11
"To continue blaming anyone for anything at all, doesn't bring peace to the person who keep laying the blame down somewhere else. " Do you really feel that this does not bring peace to the one who blames another person? I feel they do it in order to maintain their own peace and because they cannot live with their guilt.
2 people like this
derek_a
@derek_a (10873)
•
21 Dec 11
Hi Kalav.. Thanks for responding. You ask... "Do you really feel that this does not bring peace to the one who blames another person?" No, I don't feel that blaming others brings peace at all. What I have said is that "No point in attributing blame for something that is no more. To continue blaming anyone for anything at all, doesn't bring peace to the person who keeps laying the blame down somewhere else. _Derek
1 person likes this
derek_a
@derek_a (10873)
•
22 Dec 11
Hi Mel... You are not interfering and I always love to read your input. In this life we are all learning and nobody gets everything right, we are all on a journey through life to learn spiritual values in my opinion. If I (or anybody else) got it all "right", then our journey would be over and we would be saints! Well perhaps! Nobody knows for certain.. . Yes, I find myself judging. It is hard not to especially when some emotion has been triggered. I know it is not happiness or produces happiness, yet it is an automatic response - my karma that I am working through. When this happens my task is to take responsibility for my reaction. To "own" it. Because I know inside that I do in fact own all my reactions. Self judging, judging others, it makes no difference. It is judging. Acceptance is the key to peace, but it is not easy. I think through my meditation practise I have come a long way and don't blame so much now. In fact, as I am thinking, I can't remember when I last blamed other than in a joke. I have gotten into that space where I can get the feeling that what is done is done. Let it go, and hardly give a thought to the person who brought it about whether is was me or another. So you see, you coming into this discussion has just opened something up for me. A realization that I am at least beginning to quit blaming. There is a subtle difference.. Blame is like accusing, whereas judgment can be of what I like, what I don't like, what is good, what is bad, and doesn't have to involve any blame at all. Can you make this distinction? Much love and light to you... _Derek
cerebellum
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
21 Dec 11
I don't think I blame anyone else for my mistakes. I usually will take the blame for anything I do that is wrong. It might be viewed differently by someone else, but I don't think so.
2 people like this
yspmyl
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
20 Dec 11
Hi! This kind of situation happen the most in the workplace, in my company, there are people who always make mistake but every time, some others have to help him to cover his mistake and get blame due to his mistake, even his immediate boss also try to cover his mistake, he is too lucky to have such a good boss. I believe if one day, when he got another boss, he will definitely know that he should bear the responsibility for his own mistake.
2 people like this
Patsie Hatley
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Dec 11
hi ysp myl oh that person is in for a fall if he goes to work for a different company and nobody will cover for him, he will find that others will all point to him as the wrong doer.I worked for ten days with another page who wanted to be a clerk and would just page half of the books on her cart then run off asking me to cover for her as she hung around the clerks and watched him working.but this day my supervisor asked me why I was not done as usau lly I always stopped at noon for my half hour lunch break.I told her about the new one who left me to alway finish here work. she grabbed the new girl, pulled her into her office, and ten minutes later I met her in the hall. she yelled at me, you told on me,you got me fired, I told her no not really you got yo u fired as you were not doing your work but instead gave it to me to do.
yspmyl
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
21 Dec 11
Hi Hatley, She deserve such a treatment since she does not put in any effort to get her job done.
tessa9
@tessa9 (1085)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
My first reaction to this answers was, 'Me? Of course not!' Then when I really thought about it, its made me realize that I sometimes do. Like for example things are not going my way, I would sometimes blame someone close to me and say that things are happening to me because they are holding me back and stuff like that. I know that I need to change this. I know it is really bad.
2 people like this
snk321
@snk321 (10)
•
20 Dec 11
this is very natural for everyone to say,but a true person always accepts his mistake.
1 person likes this
rebel_woman06
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
I don't ever blame others for a mistake that i have done. My conscience will bother me no end.
2 people like this
Patsie Hatley
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Dec 11
hi simplyd yep our consciences make up behave even if we want to not behave so its great we do have good ones. loll
Andrealoves7and8
@rogue13xmen13 (14402)
• United States
21 Dec 11
If it is something that I did, and I know that I did it, then no, I will not blame other people for my mistakes.
2 people like this
sincere4frdship
@sincere4frdship (2228)
• India
20 Dec 11
Yes sir I do blame others for my mistake some time. I think this I do because of my weakness of not taking responsibilty. I am very much into throwing my responsibility to others and that is bad for peple around me and some time they get cursed for mine being fail.. I shout ob some and later se sorry for that.. Thanks
2 people like this
Stephannie
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
20 Dec 11
I take the blame for most of my mistakes because it is a choice that I made alone. Sometimes I do blame others if they insist that I do something that turns out to be a mistake.
2 people like this
celticeagle
@celticeagle (168256)
• Boise, Idaho
20 Dec 11
i used to. When i was young I was pretty immature. I did learn over the years that it is much better to admit to doing something than to blame others. Its a mistake after all not the end of the world and does make us human. Sooner or later a person gets found out anyway. Life is too short!
2 people like this
CTHanum
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
20 Dec 11
I really want to blame others for my mistakes but it will make me look stupid, even if you try it won't work and will make it look awkward so better not blaming anyone other than ownself. I will just admit my mistakes and say sorry~(^^)
2 people like this
mdorki
@mdorki (125)
• Germany
20 Dec 11
I share the same approach, I do not blame other people for my own mistakes. Though, I usually have the urge to do so and my first thoughts when I did something wrong is that somebody else is responsible for things going wrong. However, I always wait with conclusions and accusations until my head cools down and I realize it was me who was wrong. So, no blaming other people unless they truly are the ones who made mistake (like when I warned them and they did it their way and screwed up the big time anyway).
2 people like this
igatiful_badass
@igatiful_badass (1222)
• Philippines
20 Dec 11
Me personally not the type to blame others for my mistakes. I am responsible in all my actions and decisions in life so no one should be to blame but yourself.
2 people like this
Triple0
@Triple0 (1904)
• Australia
20 Dec 11
I always tend to blame myself even if it's not my mistake I have a group of friends and of course, not every human being is perfect, actually no one is perfect. I have a few friends in my group who are very immature and they always blame others for their mistakes. When one friend is angry at another, it's just because they won't accept that it was their fault and they would stop talking. After a few days, it would be back to normal just like that. They tend to treat their situation in very childish way and I try to avoid having them angry at me. But really, some people really need to grow up and accept that they made a mistake rather than blaming others or just ignoring it. I heard a story on Mylot here where a poor old man was shouted at just because the driver hit another car and blamed the old man for poor driving. Blaming other people isn't going to get anymore, especially if it was a serious case and it went to court. No one likes a liar! We should all accept our mistakes and take it like a proper person.
2 people like this
Pose123
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
20 Dec 11
Hi jugsjugs, It is very easy to blame others for our mistakes and I may have done so at sometime in my life. However, I would not do so now as I've learned that we have to take responsibility for our actions. We also create all of our experiences, so even when we think someone else is to blame, it has really come about through our own actions. Blessings.
1 person likes this
Patsie Hatley
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Dec 11
hi jugsjugs how are you? Merry Christmas. yes a lot of us do seem to blame others for our own errors. I try hard not to do that though as I am willing to admit when I have made a booboo and try to make it] right. I will stand up and admit I made a mistake as I would not want someone else hurt by something that I did. I would also not blame another person no matter what. As my mom told me when I was very young two wrongs do mot make a right.
1 person likes this
blue65packer
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
21 Dec 11
I think everyone will and does at one time or another blame someone for their mistakes! It isn't right but when a person can get angry or furstrated do it! I have! My dad did this all the time when I was growing up! He did it because he is an a&&hole and it was a bad way to cope with stress. Thanks to him I grew a mess and am still working on it!
1 person likes this
webearn99
@webearn99 (1742)
• India
20 Dec 11
"If at first you don't succeed, blame someone". That is how people react because taking responsibility is a hard. What is easy though is "If at all you succeed take all the credit." Courage and conscious is in short supply in this world, it is good that you have stocked up some.
2 people like this
Sanitary
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
25 Dec 11
Yes, that should be the way. We are responsible for our own mistakes and even if it's indirectly caused by others, we should take it as we are involved in it too. Nobody likes to be blamed for mistakes, especially when innocent parties are involved. Undo what others do to us, is something i always believe in. When it's my fault, i shoulder it, but when it's not and somebody is being accused, i would do my best in getting that guilty person to own up and take full responsibility.
1 person likes this
Inderjeetkaur
@Inderjeetkaur (944)
• India
20 Dec 11
I have come across many such people who blame others for the mistakes they do themselves. Well, I am courageous enough to accept my mistake and apologize for the same. It is different when it happens between my brother and me. I enjoy putting all the blame on him and saying, "See what you did? It is all your mistake..." Even he enjoy doing same with me... But, talking on a serious note we should learn to accept our mistakes as it will help us become a little wiser the next time.
1 person likes this
jugsjugs
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
17 Sep 12
I also admit if I am in the wrong or have done something that should not have happened, but when people tend to blame other people it is like a vicous circle. I hate to see other people getting the blame and the person to blame will not answer up to the things that they have done.