Do you really have control over who you fall in love with????
By bird123
@bird123 (10643)
United States
December 24, 2011 11:36pm CST
People fall in love everyday. When it doesn't work out, I have heard people say: Why did I fall for them? Is falling in love really a choice we are making?? Sometimes, but not always. Life is about learning and growing as people. God places people in our lives to teach, influence, and change us. What better way than through love? God places chemistry to hold people together through the lessons they are learning.
If this sounds like a bad thing, it isn't. It's just a small part of our education. The reality is that one doesn't always have control over who they fall in love with. Isn't love Grand??
What do you think??
3 people like this
15 responses
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
26 Dec 11
To answer your main question, YES, absolutely I've a very strong control over women, things that I have fallen in love with. The proof is I married the woman of my choice. I didn't force her to love and marry me but on her own free will and volition.
Crimes of passion are clear samples of individuals who because of love go to the extend of raping, abducting, peeping toms, acts of lasciviousness, killing, etc because of lack of self-control despite the threat of going behind bars.
Going back to the main topic, I accept the fact that humans do fall in love a number of times. For me I have loved other women before who never show interest in me but I didn't despair. I took a strong hold of my control, not like others who go rambo-style on a shooting and killing rampage because of jilted love.
@bird123 (10643)
• United States
26 Dec 11
I would say the vast majority of jilted people don't go on a killing rampage. Seems the few get all the attention. I have but one question. If you are in that much control, can you really have Passion??? Doesn't true passion including loosing it a bit??
@bird123 (10643)
• United States
30 Dec 11
OK, if you say so. Perhaps, one day you will discover a love that will reach beyond reason and logic. The only logical thinking you will have is that you can't live without it. It will be an experience you will never forget. It's when we are so sure we have things under control is when that monkey wrench falls into the machinery. Beware. It might be closer than you think.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
29 Dec 11
I think it depends on if you have control over your emotions, or if your emotions control you.
Some people have no self control, and for them the answer is no. They are slaves to their own emotions, and whoever they fall in love with is almost random.
Then there are others that truly have control over themselves. Because of this, they make better (although not perfect) choices in who they are attracted to, and fall in love with.
@bird123 (10643)
• United States
30 Dec 11
Granted, there are people who fall in love with most everyone. On the other hand, true love isn't a choice. I know a couple that married then divorced each other several times. After their last marriage, I asked them why they keep getting married. They said no one else fits. That is true love. Together through it all. One can choose differently, however there really is no other choice.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
30 Dec 11
I guess I can't relate because I have never experienced anything like that.
I've met hundreds of girls. Some I was attracted to, others I was not. Some I liked being around, and some I did not.
In all cases, I have never had this feeling like I had to have person X, and no one else would do. People are all the same. There's thousands of others that are exactly like me, and thousand that are exactly like 'her'.
I mean, there's only roughly 100 Million single adults in the US. Let's say half or the opposite Gender. So really, out of 50 million potential mates, not one would fit you? No one else fits? Out of 50 million people? Really?!? If they have standards set that high, then maybe this is the reason they keep divorcing.
It is almost impossible for me to believe that this specific women, is irreplaceable. Like if I meet girl X, and we get along, I had better Marry her, because there will never be another one like her.
Just not true. There's dozens of other girls just like her.
@changjiangzhibin89 (16760)
• China
26 May 12
When it comes to who we fall in love with,I think it is stochastic or random sometimes.It is hard for some to look for their beloved,however others look for partners in marriage easily even by chance.No wonder over here some one said it can only be found by accident, and not through seeking.
@changjiangzhibin89 (16760)
• China
27 May 12
This is why some people here say that it is lot or luck that people ar brought together.Sometimes it is hard to account for it.
. I mean I have formed my own notions (I had typed lotions) about love and life in my head and I cannot remove them. Hope I find a crazy love for this crazy dude right here.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
25 Dec 11
I don't believe that we have the control to say who we will love or not love. the heart is very complicated. it chooses love where and how it will. We can only accept or deny that love as it comes into our lives. I don't think we can ever really have the control. sometimes we can fool ourselves into thinking that we can though.
@bird123 (10643)
• United States
25 Dec 11
Yes, you understand. We are only fooling ourselves when we think we can control who we fall in love with. Yes,people can be stubborn and pigheaded. I have seen people even reject true love,then only through many struggles determine true love is something to hold onto. True love always has a way of getting it back together.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
25 Dec 11
Hi bird: I would be a big liar if I tell you that I have absolute control of the persons I have fallen in love during my whole life, specially because you can feel an attraction to someone, because he/she just have some of the things that attracts you, even if this person is not the best for you and this attraction could grow and you idealize that person. The only thing we can do is to make our best effort to be completely rational even if we know that we are in love, to think deeply if what we feel is real about this person or if we are just attracted to a person who is not as beautiful or nice as we think
ALVARO
@luckygrey67 (765)
• Indonesia
26 Dec 11
I think it most difficult for me to do. I cannot escape, let it flow....
I was a very hard to fall in love. Therefore, when I fall in love, I don't care who she is.
Love is complicated, very hard to explain...don't you ?
@kaeirole (668)
• Philippines
25 Dec 11
for me, we can control on to whom we want to fall in love..falling in love is a choice..because if not, then why we give attention to the possible people we may fall in love with..because in the first place, if don't like someone, we don't give much attention to them and eventually fall in the end..
@davaome (1826)
• Philippines
25 Dec 11
I have experienced "walking blindly" in a relationship. It was not a very good experience. Love does that sometimes. Even if your partners have done something worth getting angry about, or worth breaking up with, you will still be able to resist or you still think that she can change for the better if confronted.
@kathybrown (33)
• Philippines
26 Dec 11
its your choice whether you want to fall in love with someone...falling in love and love is different feeling..when we say falling in love is a flash of emotion toward other.so i might say it is up to the person ..
@Kalebtheman (530)
• India
27 Dec 11
faling in love is not our choice to make.
its god's decision...
true love comes only once...
desperation shouldn be mixed with true love or infatuation....
@sajujohn (1005)
• India
25 Dec 11
As far as I am concerned I can strongly say that I have strong control with whom should i fall in love with. This is the most important thing to me. Therefore I choose people with at most care and knowing only well enough. Therefore I have to decide and choose the one myself.
