Would you date someone ugly?
By starsailover
@starsailover (7829)
Mexico
December 25, 2011 8:57pm CST
Hi boys and girls from Mylot: I guess most people would say no after this question but here is the situation:
Imagine that you have a really good friend. He/ she is intelligent, very talented, a good heart person. You can talk with him/her for hours and he/ she is so nice with you. You are really good friends and he/ she is the best in every single way.
The only problem is that you don't like his/ her physical appearance. Simple as that. For you he/ she is ugly. You like him/her as a friend but that's it.
Your friend ask you to have a date with him/her. He/she begs you to do him/her this favour. He/she never has a boyfriend/ girlfriend because of his/ her physical appearance so he/she needs that you pretend to be his/her boyfriend/girlfriend just for a day to make his/ her parents feel satisfied with him/ her and don't feel like a loser who will stay single forever.
You don't have to do anything wrong, just pretend to be his/her girlfriend/ boyfriend for a day. A kiss in the worst case and you know that you will make happy this person who is really good but sadly he/ she is really, really ugly.
Would you say yes to have this date?
Second situation: Imagine having this friendship with him/ her and some day he/ she ask you to give him/ her a chance and start dating for real.
- Please give me a chance, just to try. You know how much time we have spent and that we are the best friends. I can love you forever.- He, she would tell you.
Would you break his/her heart or would you try to start dating with him her?
ALVARO
12 people like this
43 responses
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
27 Dec 11
I'll start this off with a question. How ugly are we talking about here? I cannot believe anyone could be that ugly, as you described. Maybe a picture would help. LOL. Anyway, listen, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What may be ugly to you is beautiful to someone else. I don't know if I would do that because I do not believe in hurting anyone real nice like that. I know how that feels because I was and still am ugly. I just never thought about it much, I never pursued anyone good looking girls at all in my life. I will just not do it to hurt the person.
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
5 Jan 12
Well, let me clarify that for a moment. I never pursued good looking girls, or any girl for that matter. I never though girls were ugly. I even thought the no so good looking ones would not bother with me at the time. I stayed to myself a lot and I am still not a social butterfly. However, there was a girl years ago that was actually a model, she was stunning and beautiful. She was going with my cousin and I left that alone. I knew she sort of liked me, but I did think that maybe she was teasing with me. I always felt like people were putting me down. But, anyway, many years later, I met up with her again. And now we are going with each other. So, maybe I am not that ugly, or maybe she just likes ugly guys. LOL.
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
Does that mean the girls you did pursue, you thought they were not good looking?
Sorry these lines from catt46 just made me laugh!
I agree with catt - if you're ugly then what do you think about the others? Monsters? 
Just kidding
Sorry these lines from catt46 just made me laugh!
I agree with catt - if you're ugly then what do you think about the others? Monsters? Just kidding2 people like this
@catt46 (5)
• United States
2 Jan 12
Oh stop your not ugly at all lol. You said you do not pursue good looking girls? Does that mean the girls you did pursue, you thought they were not good looking? I do not think they would be happy if they see your response.LoL I am just teasing you.
3 people like this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
26 Dec 11
Yeah I wouldn't mind dating someone even if they were ugly. If that person was really nice to me and treated me very good then I would go on a date with him. To me what matters most is what a person's heart condition is. And if that person cares about me deeply and would treat me right then that is what matters.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
2 Jan 12
Hi Dominique: I would love to answer this same way because it's really nice but in my case, I think this is really important. If we are really good friends and we enjoy being together that's a good start, but if I don't find this person attractive, that would be a good obstacle to have a couple relationship 
ALVARO
ALVARO1 person likes this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
21 Apr 12
Hi Dominique: I don't see beauty as the most important thing but at least in my case, physical attraction must exist to be something more than just friends.
ALVARO
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
13 Apr 12
Yes a lot of people feel the same way as you do. It is nice to be with someone that we are attracted to. I mean who really doesn't want to be with someone who likes nice. But I don't feel that is the most important thing. But I do see where you are coming from and why you feel that way.
1 person likes this
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
29 Dec 11
No I would not. Especially if the other person is begging. If have to beg, that's a sign there's no future for the relationship, and that you are only going to be leading the other person on. You will unintentionally, be implying there's hope for something more, when there isn't.
That's deceptive and wrong.
2 people like this
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
8 Jan 12
It can't just be feelings though. It must be something more. That you can rationally and logically see and understand that this person is a good fit for you. That you have similar goals for your lives.
Feelings can lie. Feelings can fade. You have to make a choice. You must consider the evidence and information, and decided wisely.
2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
15 Jan 12
Hi andy: I think there are different things. There's a rational process where you have to find a person that makes you feel well and there must be a compatibility, that you can see yourself being the partner of this person, which means similarities on your projects and how you see the world and part of this rational process implies that you "like" this person physically.
ALVARO
1 person likes this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
8 Jan 12
Hi andy: I understand your point. You want to start a relationship because you are truly feeling it in your heart and not because someone is begging for you. That's definitely a bad sign. Thanks for highlighting this important fact.
ALVARO
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
26 Dec 11
Hi Alvaro,
Yes I would date this guy even if he's ugly. As a friend whom I really enjoy talking with and he had asked me such favor just to pretend in front of his parents then I will certainly do it. In fact I have a friend before, I can't say he is ugly but he is not my type - not because of his physical appearance (he's not handsome but not so ugly too) but because his interest are not my interest. And I don't see myself happy if he will be my boyfriend. He used to asked me out - dinner... movies... don't know we're actually 'dating' but anyway I've managed to tell him to stop.
About the second situation... If the guy asked me to give him a chance to date for real.. I will say No this time. No matter how a person looks - I won;t care whether he is ugly or not I will fall in love with him if my heart feels it - always depends on my feelings. Even if a guy is handsome yet I don't feel anything for him, I won't date him - just like I won't date an ugly friend whom I have no feelings too.
2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
2 Jan 12
Hi enelym: That was an interesting answer. If I understand your answer well. You don't care too much on how he would look like, you just care about what your intuition says to you. If you feel you could have a chance to have a relationship and enjoy together as a couple you would say yes even if you don't find him so attractive. Thanks for your answer.
ALVARO
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
10 Jan 12
Hi enelym: I think that's nice. Basically that's the way things should be but, being completely honest with myself, I must admit that it would be difficult to give a try to someone I don't feel that physical attraction. Anyway, thanks for your answer
ALVARO
ALVARO@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
Yup you got it Sorry I mixed it up.
If I like someone I would give him a chance. But if not, ugly or not, I wouldn't.
If we're friends with someone for some years, we can sometimes easily feel whether there is a possibility of falling in love with him/her.
Sorry I mixed it up.
If I like someone I would give him a chance. But if not, ugly or not, I wouldn't.
If we're friends with someone for some years, we can sometimes easily feel whether there is a possibility of falling in love with him/her.1 person likes this
@seemared (771)
•
31 Dec 11
Loving a guy wouldn't be on his appearance..it's actually on his behavior..if he is good then I wouldn't mind his face or anything..I would date but I am married now and there is no chance to date and neither am I interested..
say I am not married and come across a good guy with an ugly face..I would date him if he is interested..
I wouldn't want a handsome guy who squirts a load of junk on his abilities..while I would date a guy who is ugly and someone who knows how to be romantic and gives me a remarkable time to remember for the whole life..
2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
8 Jan 12
Hi seemared: Thanks, that was a beautiful answer. So you put romance and the feelings over the physical appearance. Do you think you won't care even if you don't find that physical attraction, I mean if you don't see him as a sexy person?
If the answer is yes, that's great to know that you value the personality in that way.
ALVARO
1 person likes this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
15 Jan 12
Hi see mared: That was ehm... too much information .
ALVARO
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ALVARO1 person likes this
@Blaze30 (2)
•
26 Dec 11
Yes, i would date her and do her that favor for the night if it means pleasing her parents.I do not believe this is any big deal since we are suppose to be close friends and friends help each other out whenever the other needs a hand.
Now if the demand is more then just date for one night, then I'd say no..let's say she was to ask to marry her, I'd say no since our friendship is not like that, but anything else and I'd do it.
Ugliness is nothing and should not be a distraction.
2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
16 Apr 12
Hi Jasmin: I have no problem with your answer. In fact, I think that's exactly what I look for in terms of relationships. I really need this balance between the physical and the emotional part so in my case I could not date someone whom I don't feel any physical attraction.
ALVARO
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
31 Dec 11
Hi Blaze: I like your answer here. Actually that's a good thing being his friend. That's a nice way to make her feel that you are a good friend when she is in need but at the same time you won't do something that would be more than that, I mean something more serious. Thanks for sharing with us your point of view.
ALVARO
1 person likes this
@JasminGrady22 (17)
• United States
16 Feb 12
starsailover: I'm a little shallow when it comes to dating because I want to be able to look at my boyfriend and think about how attractive he is. So, my answer to this question would be no. I want someone sweet and good looking.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
26 Dec 11
None of my friends are ugly!If a friend said he wanted to date but I see him as only a friend , I would tell him so. I wouldn't not play like his date Or date him.I would tell him as gently as I could.
2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
1 Jan 12
Hi sarah: Bering honest is a good decision. Maybe he would feel a little bit sad after being once again deceived but at least he won't keep a hope about something that simply won't happen.
ALVARO
2 people like this
@mylesnarvaez (5451)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
the thing with our eyes is that it sees what it wants to... fashioned after what the mind decides to tell you. the concept of beauty is very subjective and it differs to every looker.
the way i look at things is finding substance first and beauty will naturally radiate from within. and i hope i see past appearances and seeks true beauty in value.
"a really good friend who is intelligent, very talented, good-hearted, someone i could spend hours talking with and so nice, the best in every single way..." --- i don't know if i could ever call this person ugly at all, by the way of your description. i find this person beautiful.
if i have a very good friend like him and he would ask a favor of me to pretend to be his girlfriend for a day to make his parents happy... i'd say why not. provided of course that my current boyfriend agrees.
what is just one day... compared to a lifetime of friendship. helping out a friend in need which need not involve a crime... i think there's no harm in that.
as for dating for real... well that depends on the situation. as it is... i'm seriously committed with someone. if i was not, i could give a real date a try. but that is all. i could play pretend-girlfriend for a good cause but i could not play along with pretend feelings. and when the time comes, i'd be honest with what i feel.
have a happy and blessed 2012 alvaro.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
8 Jan 12
Hi myles narvaez: I understand your point on this subject. I agree with you on the fact that beauty is really subjective but I think that is not all inside. I mean, the way you see the person is an important fact to feel in love with him/ her. In this case, there's no doubt that I am in front of an awesome person but there's no physical attraction.
Also thanks for your answer and I wish you a Happy 2012 to you too.
ALVARO
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
26 Dec 11
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Not everyone has the same vision of what is beautiful or what is deemed to be ugly. Personality and character have to come into play when you decide to think of someone in a romantic way. Dating someone who is less attractive than someone else may just be the person you search for and a welcome date at that.2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
31 Dec 11
Hi sender and lemon: @sender I agree with you on the fact that beauty and uglyness are subjective concepts and that the way you look someone differs from other people but let's just say that almost all people you know would say that this person is ugly. But what should matter here is that you, internally don't see him/ her as a beautiful person. You don't find this physical attraction. So what wold you do?
ALVARO
1 person likes this
@Lemon19900806 (5)
• China
26 Dec 11
I believe here urgly people means the people makes you bring out. And the problem about vision does not exist in this situation.
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
26 Dec 11
I can accept a person with not so beautiful appearance. Because I always weight the personality of a person more than his or her appearance. For the first situation you gave, I would say yes to his or her request. I have no problem to help out. For the second situation, I would also agree to try, who knows if it will really work? . Of course, there is always a limit of how ugly that person can be for me to accept him or her. 
. Of course, there is always a limit of how ugly that person can be for me to accept him or her. 2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
2 Jan 12
Hi squuallming: Well, that's really good for you on that first answer, making you a very considerate person who would offer some help to a friend in need and I agree with you on the second question. I mean, even if you want to do it, there's a limit and to have a relationship, there must be at least some kind of physical attraction.
ALVARO
@micha5088 (554)
• Malaysia
26 Dec 11
There's a saying, Beauty is only in the eyes of the beholder. This explains why sometimes we clash in our opinion about someone's look. There are times we see very beautiful ladies having very ugly husbands and very handsome men with ugly wives and we wonder why? what do they see in those ugly faces? For us it is difficult to understand but not for the 'beholders'. You should not date a person if you don't like him/her in the first place. You are only giving false hope and you will only hurt your 'date' more. If you want to give a chance to a 'date', you can, but first you must make it clear, like telling him/her, it's just friend date.
2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
2 Jan 12
Hi micha: I agree with you, what is beauty for someone is not necessary beauty for someone else and same happens with ugliness. In that case is possible to say that you are going to give him/ her a chance having a 'friend date' but not give someone the chance to think about things that you simply are not feeling.
ALVARO
1 person likes this
@carlotay123 (213)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
well my friend, that's a tough situation, but I have to be honest . I will date an ugly person if and only if he's really really special in my heart , and I do believe, when you've been struck by love, no Physical appearance can hinder the love that you're feeling
Well, I can do that , I'll have a date with her, and do all those things to her, and I don't mind . Cuz I love her for who she is . :)
2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
8 Jan 12
Hi carlo tay: Thanks for your answer. I am not sure, but that sounds like a little sacrifice from you at the beginning, I mean to give him an opportunity taking in account that you have an incredible friendship and that you get along really good even if you don't find him attractive.
ALVARO
1 person likes this
@loonys (418)
•
18 Feb 12
Being in relationship has nothing to do with the way you look.I would not call someone ugly unless if they are in a beauty contest.
If it was my friend I would try to help with the emotional site.
I belive that it has to do with low self esteem.So I would start from there.
Finding love does not make you beautiful either.
I belive that this person does love you but its saying as a joke cos doesn't want to loose the friendship.
2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
19 Feb 12
Hi loonys: Ok, I understand that for you looks are not your first priority when you are looking for your partner which is actually nice but you haven't answered my question already. I mean, if you don't consider this person attractive would you pretend to be his girlfriend. Would you give him a try and start a relationship with you even if you don't feel physically attracted to this person?
ALVARO
@riempie9 (1021)
• South Africa
2 Jul 12
I would date an ugly guy if he was witty and educated and could make me laugh. Laughing is a big thing with me. You laugh because someone or something is funny and you feel good. More than all of that, a person who is witty and knowledgeable you always learn from and laugh a lot of the time. Looks don't last. A man who is clever knows how to please a woman by tending to the small things which matter in life. I would never marry a rich guy for a whole lot of reasons.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
4 Jul 12
Hi riem pie: Oh really? I don't completely agree with you. I feel that you are more describing a friend rather than a lover. I mean, what if this person that makes you laugh is not good looking at all. What if all you feel when you look at his face is disgust and you don't feel any pleasure at all when you kiss him. I think that when we talk about a couple relationship, physical attraction must exist in some way.
ALVARO
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
26 Dec 11
The very situation is so wrong here. You date a person only when YOU like that person, doesn’t matter if the entire world thinks of him/her as ugly. None of us are perfect, very few have beautiful features, yet we all find our loves, our soul mates. Your friend too will find her/his soul mate, somebody who will think she/he is pretty / handsome. Ask your friend to look around…there are so many ‘ugly’ people, yet they are married or have their love life….he/she just has to be patient and wait for the right person to come along. If you pretend to be a date, you are doing a great disservice to your friendship…a friendship can never have the type of ‘kiss’ a date is supposed to have, so if you go ahead with the drama, you are spoiling a beautiful relation like friendship while not being able to achieve anything worthwhile for your friend. Instead, boost his/her self confidence; tell him/her to forget about looks and concentrate instead on other issues, he/she will definitely find his/her partner one day.
2 people like this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
26 Dec 11
Interesting scenario. I think my answer is that physical appearance does matter. This is not to say you have to only date beautiful people! But you personally have to be attracted to the person. Everyone is attracted to different people, and while you see this person as ugly, maybe there are some out there who would find this person attractive.
In my opinion, if you've spent as much time as you have with this person and still don't feel the attraction, then you shouldn't do any pretend dating or "give me one chance" dating. If you know in your heart this person is not for you, doing any of this may just make the person start feeling even more love for you. In the end you would break the person's heart if you still didn't want a relationship. It's best to stay friends and keep your friendship strong. Don't cloud the friendship with any pretend dates.
2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
31 Dec 11
Hi viva suzi: I agree with your point of view. When you don't find a person physically attractive it's almost impossible that you will be in love in the near future. Feelings are important but in a love relationship, there's a physical part, that attraction that must exist and the consequences of pretending something you are not actually feeling could be really bad.
ALVARO
1 person likes this
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
26 Dec 11
I would have to say i would not accept the offer and it has nothing to do with how ugly the person is.
You mention i would have to pretend this person is my boyfriend just for one
day.So basically i would be lying to the person just to make him feel good and i just couldn't do that.
Also, what would happen if the person really believed me and was so happy to have finally found a girlfriend, only to find out i wasn't going to see him again? This would certainly harm their self esteem even further.
The only way i would go out with this person is as a friend and if i perhaps should find i feel something more for them, only then would i tell them so.
2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
30 Dec 11
Hi ju junme: I think you have a really good point here and it's the consequences on this person feeling. Maybe dating with this person wouldn't be the right way to help him/ her, specially because we are talking about a lonely person that wants to pretend that he/ she has a couple in front of his/ her parents. And in the end his/ her feelings would be broken if he/ she start dreaming about having a relationship with you for real. Thanks for your answer.
ALVARO
1 person likes this
@cearn25 (3456)
• Philippines
26 Dec 11
I believe being ugly doesn't mean a person doesn't know how to handle himself. Some ugly people would make them handsome in a way that they give care to their selves or they know how to manage. I don't mind ugliness. I feel something for that person, I would date him.
2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
31 Dec 11
Hi cearn: You have mentioned something very important. It's all about how you feel and in this case, imagine that you like that person and that you enjoy your time with him but when you think about him you don't find him sexy. Would you try to give him a chance even if you don't find him handsome?
ALVARO
1 person likes this
@icyrose123 (133)
• India
26 Dec 11
I'm a sort of person who gives importance to inner beauty than external beauty. So for me if he impressed me with his character I will definitely date him. But there is a thin line between dating and getting into physical relationship. If I have only friendship then there will be no physical relationship between him and me. If after having the date if I fall in luv with him then I would definitely marry him. All that matters for me the inner beauty.
2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
31 Dec 11
Hi icy rose: In this case, I think there's no doubt about the inner beauty of this person so it would probably work for you if you date and you realize that you are really good friend and that you could really have fun with this person and enjoy to be with him. That he will listen to you and that he is a loyal person.
ALVARO
1 person likes this
@aanjhelikah (22)
•
26 Dec 11
So he's a good friend and he needs my help, so sure I'd help him and be his date. Personality-wise, he might be better than the good looking guys around so he wouldn't be a bad/boring date.
As for the second situation, again there would be no problem for me to give the person a chance. There's no harm in it... I think.
2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
31 Dec 11
Hi aanjhelikah: You must be a really good person who is able to understand your friends feeling and you are open to meet new people. Sure, you could really enjoy the night with this person, I mean, I am talking about a not very attractive person but with a great personality.
ALVARO
1 person likes this
