Somethings good and somethings bad.
By tamirs
@tamirs (1807)
Philippines
December 31, 2011 6:47am CST
Today is a different new year celebration for me and my daughter.
We used to celebrate new years eve in my in-laws house but because of the discussion we had three days ago makes my husband decide to let us celebrate new years eve here in my parents house.
Daughter and I went to my in-laws house three days ago to celebrate my sister in laws birthday.My sister in law gave her gifts for my daughter but my mom-in-law wants to get the gift so she have something to give to her godchild.My sister got mad at her and told her to let my daughter have the gift because she bought for my daughter.I wanted to give the gift back but my sister in law did not let me.
After having that incident we went to the kitchen to make something for lunch,my mom in law sit beside me and tell me that her son,my husband, don't care about how they are living and how they feel.And many other things that made me cry and walk out for the first time in the history. :-(
I am so surprised to hear those because, we all know that those are not true.We always try to do our best and give them what they need especially when there are occasion.We give them monthly allowance and always check on them.
My sister-in-law called me after my walk out and told me that they all have fight after we left.And telling me to come back but we did not go back.
For what?to take all the humiliation mom-in-law will throw at me?I am so deeply hurt not for me but for my husband.He is doing everything for them but they are not seeing what he is doing.
Last night my husband and i talked about it and i learned from him that his parents want his salary to go to them and they will just spare me and my daughter every month of what we need.And they are not so happy with my resignation because they think that my resignation will give them less of what my husband is earning,because i will have no source of income.
Honestly,i am so thankful that my husband decides to let us not have the new years eve with his family,not that i am so happy about it,but because i know that he is learning of what needs to do with his family and our own family.He also decides to not give them monthly allowance from now on until he comes back here.I know that will bring more trouble but i trust him on his decision.
I know its sad to celebrate the new year like this but we also know that there is a lesson that needs to be learned.We just hope that everything will work out fine when he comes back.Do you think its just right to do what my husband and I will be doing?
3 people like this
6 responses
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
31 Dec 11
Well that's life. I hope that it will not be happened again and if it does, I know that you will be prepared for it.
Your in-laws, in my opinion, according to your story is that, they wants the dominant position, and they want you in the subordinate position. I think there is no good excuse of what they have shown to you and to the rest of the family. It was an immature dominance.
I would say that don't let those behavior being sought unchallenged because it will only grow worse. What have been done was a complete wound and even if they will try to heal it, it may diminish but leaving a scar which only time can say when it will be totally gone.
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
31 Dec 11
So, in that case, it will be hard to find a mediator but to make a distance.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
31 Dec 11
Happy New Year dear 
I understand what you are feeling right now.
So bad and so sad..really.
I know and we know that we must/should help our parents.
but,they not to the extent of dictating how much we will be giving them.
I hope everything will be settled soon...lets hope for the best.
Be strong my friend
I understand what you are feeling right now.
So bad and so sad..really.
I know and we know that we must/should help our parents.
but,they not to the extent of dictating how much we will be giving them.
I hope everything will be settled soon...lets hope for the best.
Be strong my friend 
@Kalyni2011 (3496)
• India
1 Jan 12
Hello it happens usually, we should help our parents and inlaws to the best extent possible, you should make your heart strong, thanks for sharing in this discussion.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Happy posting, cheers.
Kalyani
Happy posting, cheers.
Kalyani
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
1 Jan 12
Tamirs
You have the typical MIL. I've known MIL like from relatives and friends. And I can feel how hard that is. My mom went through a bit of that. When my grandpa from dad's side (RIP) told my dad lies about my mom when we shifted to a place which is a bit far from them. 'Though mom would always give him monthly money whenever she got salary from dad. I think this is how things are happening when the parents are used to getting money from their children. But every parents should accept it whether they like it or not - that once their children gets married and start their own family. They'll have their own life already... and will start building their own family.
Both of you have made the best decision. It will be difficult for them to understand at first but soon they will realized it. Hope everything goes back to normal in time.
You have the typical MIL. I've known MIL like from relatives and friends. And I can feel how hard that is. My mom went through a bit of that. When my grandpa from dad's side (RIP) told my dad lies about my mom when we shifted to a place which is a bit far from them. 'Though mom would always give him monthly money whenever she got salary from dad. I think this is how things are happening when the parents are used to getting money from their children. But every parents should accept it whether they like it or not - that once their children gets married and start their own family. They'll have their own life already... and will start building their own family.
Both of you have made the best decision. It will be difficult for them to understand at first but soon they will realized it. Hope everything goes back to normal in time.
@mmgonzales (882)
• Philippines
1 Jan 12
HI tamirs, you and your husband do the right thing of choosing to start with your family on your own. Your mother in law is on her transition stage of trying to let go her son. She is not still use to it. Hope all the best for y
