She hugged me as if nothing happened...
@Masihi (4413)
Canada
January 1, 2012 12:41pm CST
And I was angry inside. Over the holidays my husband and I were down at the soup kitchen helping out and my ex-upline from a pyramid scheme was there. Now, a little history, part of the reason why I got into debt was because of the pyramid scheme, and I maxed out my credit cards after seven months of not gaining a single cent. Here's my story: http://velizabethwhite.wordpress.com and look at "I Left A Cult Nearly Bankrupt" - I kept my cool there, and she talked to me as if nothing happened. She knew it was bothering me because many time I've called her up crying because I was discouraged, I showed her my credit card statements, and still she encouraged me to stay in and told me outright not to listen to my husband because my husband didn't know about the business.
I feel like dirt. Hubby also acts towards her as if nothing has happened but he said to me in private that he has his guard up around her. It's like she's the one being the better person by not letting my feelings bother her. Should I simply let this all go? It's been 2 years that I left Monavie/TEAM and I'm still paying off that part of my debt. Of course I responded to her that would make Hubby proud of me, lol, hugged her back and was nice to her.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
2 Jan 12
I got invited to join one with a former friend and her boyfriend. It didn't seem logical to me plus I had no money to invest in such foolishness. Though they sat me in some seminar in someone living room to listen to their speel. I was so relieved to get out of there.
You know what be cordial to her in public and disregard her in non-public / non-social settings. Don't call her don't talk to her don't deal with her at all unless you don't have a choice.
I'm not sure what all occurred but I would ask your credit card company about investigating the charges that you were scammed into believing you joined a business enterprise. Perhaps they can help you out with the amount you owe by disputing it as fraud?
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
2 Jan 12
I'm glad you tried to report them to someone. I know pyramid schemes are illegal in my state but if you don't know what one is or how to recognize it you can easily fall victim to it.
Do your best when you are at ministry to be cordial and mindful of what you say. If you do hear her mention the scheme to others,I hope you'd warn them before they go thru what you did.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
2 Jan 12
I wish I can report them, but I ended up reporting TEAM to the American FTC, so I hope if they get enough complaints they'll look into it. I think the credit card companies won't look at it yet because the purchases are made under so-called free will, but TEAM seminars were so hyped up in emotionalism and you just HAD to buy the latest books and CDs, plus they had a license to sell other kinds of books. And you just HAD to purchase tickets to seminars, open meetings, major conventions, and by all means, you need the website! That's your Back Office! LOL It's really such a grey area, I suppose, and not qualified as a fraud. These TEAM guys have a really slick team of lawyers defending them like crazy.
I'm a member of a website called amthrax.wordpress.com and it's about other ex-TEAM/LIFE members who lost their money some of them their families. We're all hoping that some legal action will be taken place soon, as we all know people who are "in the business".
As for my former upline I have no contact with her whatsoever except for at the sunday supper minsitry.
1 person likes this
@bonbon664 (3466)
• Canada
2 Jan 12
The best thing for you is to let it all go. Consider it a life lesson. You will never see that money again, and trust me, I know that's hard, but, anger and revenge is a horrible emotion. I would cut ties with her though. Even though you get beyond what you're feeling doesn't mean you have to be "fake friends" with her. I would explain why you don't want contact with her, in a calm rational manner. You don't need people like that in your life. It's best to surround yourself with people who are supportive, and have your best interest at heart, not people who take advantage of your good nature.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
2 Jan 12
I think Hubby wants me to be fake friends because we all are involved in the sunday supper ministries and he asked me what would jesus do and he said be friendly to all people. That really is hard, and I was devastated when I realised that I was in a scam. I know Hubby has his guard up but he's nice to people's faces no matter what they done to him or myself. I'm more outspoken and will tell people what I think. I'm trying to let it all go, though, and like Stoywk said, if I see her elsewhere then ignore her and act as if I don't know her. I can do that no problem. Religion or no religion, we do have feelings and I simply can't deal with the memories, and here she is, hugging me as if nothing happened!!!!!! 
I think I will talk to Hubby about not wanting contact with her. He should be able to understand, I mean it is our finances together, we are both feeling the pinch. I have cut ties with her on my end, though. We don't meet anywhere together or even have each other's email addresses anymore.
I think I will talk to Hubby about not wanting contact with her. He should be able to understand, I mean it is our finances together, we are both feeling the pinch. I have cut ties with her on my end, though. We don't meet anywhere together or even have each other's email addresses anymore.@bonbon664 (3466)
• Canada
2 Jan 12
Well, at least you're not giving her any more money, and you are doing a fantastic job of warning other people away from these fraudsters. Good on you!
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
2 Jan 12
I ain't given her or that bloody organisation a red cent since I quit back in Jan 2010!!! w00t!!! TEAM says how they can make people pay off their debt, but I'm proving that we don't need TEAM to pay off debt, I'm on welfare and I'm paying off my debt with my welfare cheques and Hubby's job cheques! In your face, TEAM!!!! 
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
3 Jan 12
I can relate to you, not exactly, but kind of. My best friend of since childhood stopped speaking to me when I told her I liked girls. We didn't speak for years than randomly, like 18 months ago, she found me on Facebook and we went to lunch. She acted like nothing had happened. I was like "whatever."
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
3 Jan 12
Ya, I think it's so annoying that people don't want to talk things out and clear the air. They'd rather not talk about it and keep people like us in suspense or uneasy because we don't know what we're thinking. Maybe to them it's not a big deal to them, or they think they're better than us or something like that. Either way, it's not a good feeling especially when you yourself need to express yourself.
@derek_a (10873)
•
2 Jan 12
That is quite a story and I particularly aware of how they were quoting the Bible. And that is the sinister cults get riches for their leaders. These techniques are very powerful and can draw in the most strong-minded of us, especially when we've never come across it before. I got drawn into one many years ago, before I eventually started to practice Zen, that asks for nothing but supports awareness.
I think hugging her is really admirable as it demonstrates a willingness to forgive - which is really a way of letting go that gives strengtg and peacce of mind.. I wish you all the very best for the New Year.. 
_Derek
_Derek1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
2 Jan 12
Mind control technique. Pure manipuluation. Look up Steve Hassan http://freedomofmind.com/ this fella was an ex-Moonie and his site describes a cult similar to commercial cult. For something eerily similar to what TEAM/LIFE is about here's a personal story by someone who was in Amway and also a tools/motivational organisation. Totally freaky!!! 
http://www.transgallaxys.com/~emerald/ It's an e-book, I have it on my computer and couldn't stop reading it.
http://www.transgallaxys.com/~emerald/ It's an e-book, I have it on my computer and couldn't stop reading it.
@knittingpro (289)
• Canada
5 Feb 12
That's hard. I'm not so sure I could act like nothing is wrong. In the moment yes but I would have to resolve it in some way. It's hard carrying around that anger. She obviously don't care seems she hugged you like nothing is wrong. I would tell her how you feel and let it go. Take it as a lesson learned and not go down that road again!!!!!
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
5 Feb 12
I am trying to let it go, it bothers me, but I'm trying not to retaliate, she already knows how I feel, but I think she's trying to be "the big person" by acting as if nothing happened. That's not real communication, if she would even apologise that would mean something to me. I'm not like spilling out with anger like I did before but it's still there. I've learned a valuable lesson in money management, and feeling good about the lessons learned, it also made me realise that material stuff doesn't matter so much as the quality of life we spend with those we love. They say time equals money or something like that but I'm saying time - quality time - is priceless.
@deadbeat (82)
• United States
1 Jan 12
I try to avoid pyramid money making opportunites for that exact reason, because you depend on your downline for income, of course she was going to encourage you to spend because if you did, then she earned, and of course it didn't bother her to tell you to go into debt because she was going to make money regardless of the debt you incurred. It didn't matter to her if you made a cent, as long as she made money.
I'm glad to hear you got out of the program.
But I don't think she should act like nothing had happened, because it did happen. And she was reaping the rewards and using you.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
1 Jan 12
I have to try to hold my temper because she volunteers as a ministry worker at the same soup kitchen my husband ministers at as well. So here we are, listening to her give her sermon, and sometimes my husband leads the worship, and vice versa. But boy does it ever bother me something terrible. I guess there's nothing we can do now...I don't know. But I know that I have learned a valuable lesson. I mainly now look for companies that has the BBB stamp of approval on them, now, but I do tend to shy from MLMs. MLMs aren't really stable anyway.
@deadbeat (82)
• United States
2 Jan 12
You are a better person than I am, because I have an angry streak a mile wide, and I would be one to tell her how I feel, and exactly what I think of her, Christian attitude, beliefs or not......its the way I am....and I would flat out call her a hypocrite to her face telling her knowing what she put people through, just to make money is about as hypocritical as it gets.
I admire your ability to keep your mouth shut because I know I wouldn't be able to do so.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
2 Jan 12
Deadbeat, listen, religion or no religion, people got emotions, my blood is BOILING!!!! I literally had to FORCE myself to give her a hug back and be nice back. Seriously, I don't know how he does it, I guess he doesn't like confrontation, but I'm a more outspoken type of person, and I have told her on the phone how I felt when I was newly out of the MV/TEAM scam. I was bawling my eyes out. I guess now I keep my mouth shut because I don't want to make a scene there and we're there to serve other people, and to not upset my husband. Hubby's been a volunteer there since 1991, and as a wife I support him as much as I'm able.
Yeap, this is a haaaaaard, haaaaaaaard lesson for this old gal. G-d help me, I need all the strength I can get!
I literally had to FORCE myself to give her a hug back and be nice back. Seriously, I don't know how he does it, I guess he doesn't like confrontation, but I'm a more outspoken type of person, and I have told her on the phone how I felt when I was newly out of the MV/TEAM scam. I was bawling my eyes out. I guess now I keep my mouth shut because I don't want to make a scene there and we're there to serve other people, and to not upset my husband. Hubby's been a volunteer there since 1991, and as a wife I support him as much as I'm able.
Yeap, this is a haaaaaard, haaaaaaaard lesson for this old gal. G-d help me, I need all the strength I can get!
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
1 Jan 12
How can I be the bigger person, though? It looks like she's the bigger person because she didn't respond to my request for an apology. She's always had a calm, collected, and cool attitude through the whole situation, and chose to just be friendly and nice to me even though I was mad at her because I lost so much money and she had encouraged me to even go out of the country for some convention, which then my husband put down his foot and said enough is enough. Thank heavens I didn't go, though. That would've been another five hundred bucks down the drain.
I don't know, I'm just confused. IN the mean while, I'll just bite my tongue and let her hug me and be nice with her. My blood is boiling, though.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
1 Jan 12
You'd really have to believe in your product, and have a couple of years under your belt to know your products and experienced the company's customer service. You might get a few people under you that way, but certainly not as a stable stream of income. But starting off right off the bat before you get to expereice what the customer service is like - that's for people who are gifted in selling ice to an eskimo. Seriously, this is a dog-eat-dog world. I'm the same as you, to be honest.
