My ex want to give his name to our daughter and my family dislike the idea

Oh my heavens, this guy got some NERVE!!!!! Wow! Nope, I would just keep the child's name the way it was when she was born, that's final. If he changes his actions and attitude, perhaps you can talk about visitation rights, but certainly not custody or name-changing or anything like that. Please don't give into him for your child's and your sake.

Hello its your daughter's right to have her father's name. It's her fault whatever happened to you. With regards to citizenship, there is an existing law about it so you have nothing to worry.

It has been two years and your anger still seemed too strong that you are so happy right now to deny him his child... but the thing is you could also be denying your child his/her father. He could have left you before, for so many reasons tha only he can say... but if he is working on it now why not give him a chance to get to know the child he left before. two years could have done him so many things and it could have thought him how to accept and he could have been sorry for what he did. I think you should talk to this person, and set some things straight before you decide. Watch out for sincerity in him. Forgive him already, it should also make you feel better and would be able to make wise decisions.

Hello... It is very strange that he should disappear for 2 years & then return to name the child... Have you checked where he was? Did he leave because of his failure to make money? And has he now found the means to make money? Is that the reason for his return? Check his story... That will lead to a satisfactory answer...

Why not give your daughter her rights. Yes, she has all the right to have a father. Besides, its for your daughter's sake so why not. Who knows, maybe this is the best way for a reconciliation (if you still want to)

Your anger might tell you it's the best decision to decline the offer and never give his name to your child but it's the best to think everything over. Just sit down on a sunny afternoon and politely discuss and negotiate the future of the kid's name and citizenship. You guys are smart and clever, I'm sure you'll find the best decision which is good for both of you. Keep in mind that arguing around won't lead anywhere and you'll finish where you started the whole thing.

You know him better than any of us, I mean he's not a bad guy right? Check on his motives, giving his name to your daughter is actually giving him access (custody) to your daughter. You don't have to say yes right away, think about it long and hard. He can still give financial support even if the child doesn't have his name.

I wouldn't give his name to your child either. If he couldn't be there for your child when your were pregnant and 2 yrs of life he should be darn lucky you even allow her to see him. How about that back child support?

people in general makes mistakes. there is no one perfect here. even steve jobs has his trials and errors before hitting the big time. it is always a good sign when someone comes back and wanted to start all over again. you and the father of your daughter may never be a couple anymore (or we dont know still what the future holds for you) but he will always be the father. good thing that the other half of your daughter is now filled.... i have a friend who until now is looking for her father. and my wife has a cousin who is still looking for his mother... the missing piece is still missing and i am happy for your child that she will no longer look for that piece when she grows up for it is right there already. all you need now is to talk... you need to tell him one by one his responsibilities and obligation of you decided to use his name. there is always a reason for everything... and he has his reason why came back.

My apologies for the late response, but because of health issues and school I am 8 months behind on responding to discussions. Did this man ever give you anything other than making you pregnant? Did he support you in any way? Why does he all of a sudden want to give his name to your child or make her a dual citizen. That part wouldn't be so bad as there are advantages to being Canadian that we don't have as Americans, but I don't think the deal is really worth it. It would be one thing if he had been involved with raising the child in some way for even a while but it sounds like that is not the case at all. Does the child know anything about her father? Of course she is too young to know anything right now, but if you choose to allow her to make the choice when she is of age then that might work. If he is willing to wait until she is older then I might allow it but in no other way would I do so. What did you decide to do in the end (if anything)? Have a great weekend!!!

Whenever i know a unmarried female that wants her baby to have the daddys name i always advise her not to. The reason being is it gives him too much parental power. I once knew i girl that gave her baby daddys name and the father came and took her child away from her. Plus in the case where the father is from another country. They could want other things from it such as citizenship. When i give this advise sometimes they listen and sometimes not. I guess they wnat the baby to have daddy name for sentimental reasons. But my best advise is not to do it.

I think you need to consult a lawyer about what rights he will have once you have acknowledged the fact that he is the father of your child. You need to put emotions aside and look at the legal connotations and how it will affect your child now and in the future. What if he can prove that you are an unfit mother (whether it is true or not) and take her away from you? That is just one scenario. Do everything legally and make sure there are no loopholes that he can use against you.

The answer is absolutely not. He is either the father, or he is not the father. Don't make decisions based on superficial concepts like citizenship. He is not her father anymore. For whatever reason you two gave that up. So the answer is 'no'. You do however need to find a husband, and a father for your child. You need someone that can be a role model for her, as to what a man is supposed to be. Or she'll end up making the same mistake you did. End the cycle. Find someone who can be a man for her.

Which country are you in? US? What was the problem with the ex? I would be curious if he physically abused or hit you or something else?

from above responses by you.. I think you must be thinking to discuss about this with him.. it's the best solution that you both sit and discuss on this topic very politely.. and also you too think once with keeping anger aside..

Hi Homeshoppers, I would not trust that at all. He has had nothing to do with the child for 2 years??? I hope you listen to your family on this one. If you give him dual citizenship then he will have rights as a parent. If he were to take your daughter over the line and not bring her back then there would be little you could do about it because legally, he is her parent as well. I don't know but I would be concerned about why after all this time he shows up and wants to have all these changes. I would not do it if I were you. Has he paid any child support or in any way been a part of the child's life?

Well, in my opinion in your case. Better to used the surname of your ex to your daughter so that it may not be a problem in the future.It is for child sake which maybe beneficial to your daughter in the future. Because there maybe time for her to ask who is her father. But on the case your ex want your daughter change citizenship, is not negotiable... It depend on you to decide because he was left you when you need someone to help due to your condition.

i think every people do like you now.. it`s normally if your family dislike him after he left you without reason.. just tell to him, that he is not deserved for giving the name for your daughter anymore..

I am sorry to know your going through such a difficult time my friend. I hope things get better for you. I believe you should really think it over, I know how tearing apart it is, that he left you when you needed him the most. But its not about you anymore, its about the little angel in your life. She deserves to have the name of her father. No matter what it might be, she will question you one day about him and you cant hide the truth. I believe you should really sit with some wise people from your family including your ex and come to a decision that is favorable for the little angel. Best of luck!