What "complicated" your relationship?

I don't know why men can sometimes have the attitude of let's have fun and none of the responsibility and actually become unhappy if a mother has to share her attention with the children. I think some are just jealous of their children and the time they require that interferes with total attention to them. Some men just don't handle the added responsibility for children at all, and others love it. Makes you wonder what causes the difference in between the two. I know my ex just expected me to handle them when he wasn't around and total attention to him when he was around. I'm grateful that phases of my life is over and I can concentrate on today.

When I think back, I think he was even jealous of the cats long before we had children...

Long distance relationships are possible, I am proof positive of it. My hubby and I were not together for almost 2 years and occasionally together. If your values are the same in a relationship there is no reason for it to fail. Personally I believe in love and loyalty when you declare you are in love with someone, whether you are together or not. I sure wouldn't endanger mine by cheating and having been through the pain of it, it just isn't something I'd do to anyone else. It sounds like you have a budding relationship, keep up the goodness! Thanks for your response.

Because you get a divorce decree, doesn't make it effective until it is recorded in the county where the divorce was issued. The copy they issue you after the registration with the county recorder is the one you need to actually make the decree totally legal. My neighbor found out her annulment was never registered and she cannot get a marriage license until the registration is complete.

Thanks for the response. Are you saying you were both cheaters in the past? Or that both of you had relationships with cheaters in the past? My hubby and I both had cheater partners before, and one of the things unite us now is the belief that that is not the way to have a relationship and we wouldn't do it to each other. Good luck to you and your bf.

we both cheated on our past relationship. But I also had a cheating bf. We both promised that we won't cheat. I know that I wouldn't do it to us, and he promised he won't do it either. There are moments when you know that what the person is saying is sincere and I'm glad we're both keeping our promises :)

Sometimes I think the USA would be better if getting a divorce wasn't so easy, but having seen so many abusive relationships, I cannot imagine living where divorce doesn't exist. Good luck and I wish you the best in your relationship. Miracles do happen sometimes.

He took you up on raising your child alone in a rather strange way. Did he get his mental or medical disability? Does he help with raising the child? My son is helping his 2nd wife raise her 6 year old daughter and he treats her like his own. His son by his first marriage is almost 21 years old. Basically, he has two different families that mingle. I'm sure what has happened to you has put a lot of pressure on you and truthfully, you and your bf may not stay together. A child is not truly a good reason to keep an unhappy relationship together. Hope you find happiness and raise a healthy son.

I feel for any marriage to fail, it takes two people. Even my prior marriage, I know part of the blame was mine because I spent so much time taking care of my relatives. My ex was responsible too for not being home with his family a large portion of the time. You just cannot maintain a relationship when there is NO physical contact and NO communication. My current hubby has PTSD, and a shattered wrist, a hernia, a bad back mostly due to bullet wounds he received in Vietnam during the war. He was married 4 times before me. He applied for, and receives social security disability as his income. He has some responsibility in all his prior marriages for their failure and he says he does. We discuss the problems in our relationship now and sometimes things don't change just because we want them too. I cannot fix his shattered wrist or broken mental condition and make him employable but I can accept him as he is. When we met and started our relationship, he was working. However, in a few years, it became obvious that his work career was at an end and he was going to have to apply for social security disability. It was almost 18 months without him getting paycheck and me being the source of income, before he applied for social security disability. Fortunately, when examined by the doctors for social security, they were surprised he had worked as long as he had and within three months of that exam and 18 months of his not being able to work, he was issued his first check. I wouldn't ever accept my current husband didn't have some responsibility for the failure of his other marriages. For my husband to have tried to sell me that idea, I probably would not have stayed in a relationship with him before we got married. It might be difficult to accept responsibility and look at the truth of the matter, but saying he had no responsibility would have been unacceptable to me, and especially since mine had been married 4 times. It was hard for me to get down to my part in the failure of my first marriage, and there were reasons besides the one I stated. I was not the perfect wife nor was my ex the perfect husband. Some things we tolerated about the other. Good luck with your relationship!

we are married. we got married after we learned i was pregnant. he filed in jan. and no, he has been denied once for mental disability and we got a lawyer and we havent heard anything about it since. he recently sent a letter to the disability board from a doctor he started seeing saying that he was now physically disabled from a hernia. which i dont understand mental or medical because he was working fine up until he found out i was pregnant. i dont know, maybe he was scared because the marriage he had with his first wife when he had his daughter went bad and he didnt want ours to go bad after i had my son. funny way he has of showing it though. i am his 3rd wife and he always blames his other 2 wifes for the reason the marriages went bad but now i am started to wonder if it wasnt him.

I agree, I think sometimes we complicate things in our minds because of indecision in regards to our relationships. Nice to know you got everything settled and are enjoying a happy relationship with someone you love. Thanks for your response!

Having children always seems to complicate a relationship. Children demand time independent of our love partners. It makes it hard, but please, don't ever forget the time just between you and your partner and never forget to find time just for each other. Enjoy your life! Thanks for your response.

We find time every few months when family is in town. They like to steal my little one which is fine with me when I need to do things like see doctors or go out. This month me and my husband went out twice in December well besides spending Christmas. Our time to each other is normally between 9pm and 12am. That is normally used to just well watch tv and relax. When yor a parent you time has to be taken over by your kids that how you know your doing the job. There is no sick days, vacation off, your always working even in your sleep.

Glad to hear you're not in one. I've never heard anyone say anything about using it to mask being single. But I have heard some rather long drawn out explanations. I have seen a lot of "in a relationship" and then a return to "single" but usually I've found when it says "complicated", it is. Thanks for your response.

I'd call it complicated! When you're not actually free to marry, without a divorce, it definitely is complicated. It caused my hubby a lot a problems because his to be ex wife hadn't contacted him nor had he seen her since the original papers had been filed to get a divorce and when I met him, it was 8 years later. It was another 6 more years before he found he wasn't divorced. Then he had to go through trying to find her, and then serving papers on her and completing the divorce. Very complicated. Thanks for your response.

I agree since my hubby and I spent several years in a long distance relationship. It isn't easy but it can be successful eventually if the two people can ever get together in one place. I know we used unlimited calling for a long time. Actually, I think my hubby now and I spent more time communicating than, and still do, than I ever did with my ex husband. Good luck on your relationship!