would you tell?
By ronnyb
@ronnyb (6113)
Jamaica
January 2, 2012 9:49am CST
Now I have two friends who are now interested in meeting each other with me being the common factor in both relationships.Now let me give you some background.My male friend is someone I have known for ten years .We met when I first came to my current workplace.
and we have been friends ever since .We are so close that I was his best man when he was getting marred and is now there for him when he is going through a rather messy separation.His marriage is almost ended with only the formality of the divorce and he has been separated from his wife for over a year .However he has started dating this girl and this seemed at first to be progressing nicely however there seems to be some tumult to the relationship .Now let me clear a few questions that I am sure must be popping up in your mind firstly this is a guy who for the duration of his marriage was a monogamous and as far as I know respected his wife..However lately I am seeing that the experience has taken its toll on him and making him a bit more wary of falling into the same trap .So consequently you may say he is having some commitment issues.i have sat him down on numerous occasion and said that maybe he should give himself some time before he starts something new but he has said he is just socializing (but we both know what that means )
Now to the other party involved my dear friend and sister.She has been through equal tumultuous relationships and I remember holding her down when her last boyfriend left her.She has lately made a resolution to just take it easy and not rush into any new relationships.It so happened however that on one of many visits to her house my friend called and somehow they got to talking and kind of hit it off .He now want to meet her and has be asking me to take him to meet her at her home but she is saying the only way she meets him is if I am there .In addition she has asked me numerous times about his character and i have vouched for him .I haven't told her yet about the fact that he is seeing a girl because I don't want to betray his confidence but at the same time the omission is playing on my conscience because I would feel some amount of guilt if she was hurt in the process.And in addition I would have to be there to pick up the pieces for her and trust me I wouldn't want to see her go through that again
So now you see my dilemma ,who confidence should I betray ...tell her and save her from possible hurt ....or keep my tongue and let the chips fall where they may
9 responses
@AidaLily (1450)
• United States
3 Jan 12
Honestly I would tell him that you will not let them meet until she knows the truth or unless he is going to break up with the person he is seeing. If they meet and hit it off then great and there is the possibility that they could help each other heal. However, I believe its always nice to start a meeting without lies. If she wants to meet him after she knows he has someone, then let them. At that point they will choose what they want to do, but you shouldn't introduce them without him being willing to say he is in a relationship to her. That will just lead to more problems if she really likes him.
@Shorty001 (25)
• Canada
3 Jan 12
yes i would intruduce them then once they meet and we had a good time then id tell them its up to u guys to take it from here.im now not responsable after this.lol
@seemared (771)
•
3 Jan 12
I would say your friend needs to be on the right track and as you know both of them and don't want to see either of them hurt then better stop it..he is your friend and you know what he is doing is wrong..so you gotta correct him and some how tell the girl about it..tell her in such way that your name doesn't come in so even if they separate your friend ship with both won't break..think hard..you'll get a solution.
@catt46 (5)
• United States
2 Jan 12
Maybe I have this wrong, but it sounds like he wants to meet your sister, while he is involved in this tumulus relationship.If this is correct, it is disrespectful to you and your sister. It sounds like he wants to make sure he has someone just in case his current relationship falls apart. If he really wanted to end his relationship he would. He needs to before meeting anyone else. This is his choice, but he should not expect you to get your sister involved. It is just setting her up for heart break. What ever your friends reasons, he is still a cheat. If your friend does not want to include his girlfriend in this so called socializing he is working his way up to cheating. Actually he is cheating if not physically, than emotionally. Your first loyalty should be to your sister.Tell her and let her decide if she still wants to meet him.
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
2 Jan 12
Well she isn't my sister ,just my close friend that I call my sister based on how close we are .Well I wanted him to end one relationship before embarking on another one because I don't want her to be hurt but I am still a little reluctant .thank you so much for bringing your view to the debate
@bestboy19 (5478)
• United States
3 Jan 12
He may be a very good friend, but your sister is family and should be your first consideration. Tell her the truth.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
3 Jan 12
I would say cause what it sounds like is that he's trying to jump into a relationship when he has something going on with another girl. I would tell your friend, because you wouldn't want her to get hurt. Let her know what is going on, and if she still decides to meet, then let them meet at least she knows what she is getting into, you know.
