What Would You Do If Your Spouse Called You a Fat Pig?
By ladym33
@ladym33 (10979)
United States
January 2, 2012 3:02pm CST
My husband was supposed to be starting a new diet today and I made him some chili that is made of all healthy ingredients but because it wasn't on a specific list he would not eat it. My husband is always either dieting or eating out of control and gaining a lot of weight back. I want him to learn to lose weight and then maintain it instead of constantly yoyo-ing which is not good anyone's health. I made a comment saying so much and I did not mean anything cruel by it. His response was F-U you fat pig. I lost 27 pounds this past year and I was down to being 10 lbs away from my ideal weight but I did gain back about 3 pounds over the holidays which I plan on getting rid of ASAP. Sure I am a little over weight but calling me a fat pig after I lost all that weight and tried so hard and kept it off for nearly 8 months except for some holiday weight gain that has only been there a couple of weeks. I know I must have offended him but I think that was a particularly nasty thing to say especially when I am less than 15 pounds over weight. What would you do if your spouse called you a fat pig?
2 people like this
11 responses
@Mashnn (4501)
•
3 Jan 12
Sorry for that, I think you husband see his weakness in you. When he calls you fat pig is really what he feels about his weight not about you. I think he is just in denial that he needs to lose some weight. If I were you, I would not talk about weight issues anymore, I would just let him to decide whether he want to lose his weight or not. Just try not to take it very personal.
@waflay (2737)
• Nairobi, Kenya
3 Jan 12
This is exactly what I was thinking of. We have some people who just can't stand dieting for long and they would not accept the fact that they are losing the fight against weight lose, for this reason they easily get mad for whoever tries to get them back to the track. Yes! That topic should be avoided but my friend should continue with weight lose program to make realize his mistakes.
@hmkoct5 (2065)
• United States
2 Jan 12
If my spouse called me that, I would be furious! I would probably grab my car keys and leave! I am very sensitive and that would drive me over the edge! I also wouldn't help him with his diet until he apologized to me! Meaning, he can plan and cook his own meals for a while! You are not fat! I think you look amazing and I know you've tried very hard to lose weight and maintain the weight loss. I don't think you did anything wrong.
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
3 Jan 12
It was a cruel thing to say. However, it seems he was responding out of anger or fear. If you could discuss that remark with him calmly I bet he did not mean it. People who struggle with weight loss can get quite touchy about such issues, even unreasonable. Rather than giving him what he deserves, maybe if you do the right thing and try to respond with love, patience and forgiveness the whole situation can be turned around to draw you closer. Sounds a lot better than having another reason for having a lingering fight.
@mrsgoodygoody00 (895)
• United States
3 Jan 12
My husband has called me a lot worse on a daily basis. I have heard everything, I mean everything, so when he or anyone calls me a name, it literally rolls off of my back. It's not true, and I have developed some thick skin, but when I have to "talk back" to people I always cut them where it hurts.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
3 Jan 12
That is just nasty and offending! I am not married yet but I do feel offended with what your husband told you. I don't know whether he was just kidding you or he was serious when he told you that. I just could not accept someone, especially a husband would tell that to me. He might have felt offended with the words you told him and blurted out words he knew would offend you as well. Try to talk to him about it and hopefully both of you will just learn to complement each other.
@itsme_chin (44)
• Philippines
3 Jan 12
That's an awful thing to say especially to a wife. I'm not yet married but I sympathize with what you are feeling right now but also note that we sometimes say things we don't mean when were angry. Maybe your husband did not mean any of it. Let him cool down first then talk to him after and let him know that you got hurt by what he said. It's a win win for the both of you.. You'll be able to release the pain in your heart and he on the other hand can explain himself to you. Good luck!
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
2 Jan 12
I see some of my married friends speaking to each other like this, I am not married but I don't think I could accept that sort of thing, I am very independent and very sensitive I guess but the more I see my friends in this sort of thing the more I want to stay solo...
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
2 Jan 12
Wow, that wasn't nice and no matter how upset he would be at you, he should've never called you a fat pig. There would be a lot of nasty mean words I would say to my husband if he ever call me anything like that. He would be tossed outside on his butt and the door locked behind him. And never allowed to be let back in. I was thinking okay maybe he was upset but even getting upset by what you said is just crazy. When all you were doing was try to help him and you didn't mention anything about him being fat or anything like that. So he was way out of line anyway. Shame on him.
@maishaybrown (276)
• United States
2 Jan 12
Hi Ladym33. I think that your husband should apologize to you because you didn't mean anything that. At the same time however, I think that you should made that clear when it first happened so he would know that you didn't mean anything by saying what you said. I feel like that might have made everything a little bit better. I don't like to wait and look back on stuff. I like to address that issue right then and there. I don't want stuff to build up and build up until I am so mad that I can't stand the sight of him.
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
2 Jan 12
Unfortunately I am an Italian American Brooklyn girl who has a bit of a temper. My husband better duck & real fast too because whatever object was closest to me that's the object that I'm going to throw first. Fortunately for me my husband knows better then to ever speak to me like that. I think if your are trying to help each other to lose weight then that's great, but he is not going to be any source of encouragement to you by calling you such names especially when your obviously working so hard to lose the weight. If he was offend by what you said then he should have been man enough to say so instead of insulting you the way he did. That was just childish of him to say what he said to you & I think that your husband has some growing up to do.
@deadbeat (82)
• United States
2 Jan 12
I don't think I can print what I would say to my husband if he said that to me. In fact I have an easier time losing weight than my husband, I dropped substantial weight over the summer due to being on my feet and working in a job that was long hours, and a lot of walking. So while I am still over weight, and like you I gained some back, but I would not take kindly my husband calling me a fat pig.
He might just end up with the chili on his head.
I tend to think that it may be that your husband is upset with the fact that you have lost the weight and have worked to keep it off, and is more upset with himself than you.
Hopefully in time you can work this out, but the words have been said, and they were hurtful. If he refuses to eat something you maek, I would tell him there's the kitchen, I don't know everything that isn't on your list you can make something yoruself. Or make dinner together so you avoid future confrontations.
