why say yes when you want to say NO!

Saying yes to a lot of things can be really difficult, especially when you already promised some things before and you eventually have to cancel because a newer offer has been offered which you weren't able to decline because of not wanting to offend them by turning down their offers. When someone does that, there is that hint of being irresponsible for the promises that they already made which they would eventually break for not keeping their word. Your Word is Your Bond Here are some tips that I got to learn from a seminar that I got to attend which also tackled a topic that is quite close to the one that you have started to discuss: 1. Engage only in agreements you intend to keep. Well, that's obvious enough. If you are busy on the date which something is offered, you evident that you won't be able to accommodate. If you don't want what is being offered, you simply decline. You would only suggest maybe another time if you really indeed want to consider another time since you are not available at the time which the event will occur or you cannot afford the item which is being offered to you. 2. Jot down all the agreements you make. So that you would know the engagements that you have already said 'yes' to and you would know if you can still fit in a few more promises that won't be conflicting with the other promises that you have already made so that you won't be disappointing others as well as disappointing yourself. 3. Inform the other party of any broken agreement at the first appropriate time. Here, as much as you should make this minimal, you do get into situations wherein you just happen to be offered with something better than what was offered to you before and you actually like the latter. When things like this happen, you have to inform the other party of your sudden change of decision. You do this right away and when you are sure that you want to. Don't wait for the last minute just to tell them that you won't be attending or getting an item that you promised that you would get. You'd end up raising their expectation so much and then suddenly letting them down. That would really give them a bad impression of you. Inform as soon as possible to minimize any disgruntled feelings. 4. Learn to say 'No' more often. When you can't do what is being asked from you, say no. If you can't attend an event that is being offered due to engagements that you have already agreed on attending which would have conflict with the new one being offered, say no. If you simply don't want something, an event, offered item and so on that you don't really like, say no. Be honest to what you really want and and don't want ('_^ )

Hi grace, I say No if I really want to say No. I don't say Yes just for the sake of lying. I guess that is the reason why I have less friends... Well I do have friends, but I can only count them - they are the real one whom still accepted and understand me whenever I say No. I just couldn't say Yes and make someone hope when the truth is I can't really do what they want me to do.

That my dear is what you call peer pressure. Apart from the gadgets that some of the gang go hype about, decisions also play a part in peer pressure. There were times that i was waiting for a brave one to say "no" at an instant and then shall i drop my vote as well. I understand this predicament. Oftentimes, they would even consider you as a killjoy. Good riddance as they say. If they were your real friends, they would be considerate of your decisions and still stick with you no matter what.

I believe that this is part of the Filipino culture. They just can't say NO, so they say YES, afterwards they will start to hide from those people they answered YES. I think some people would like to put an image, or they are shy to say NO. what's wrong is, they give false hopes to people they answered YES. When they start to deal with other races who are straightforward, those who mean YES and who mean NO, they can't accept those people and they consider them rude.

I was once afraid of what people might say if I'll express myself. Most of the time, I was just playing safe but I wasn't happy. Now, I've learned to stand-up and show people the real me and speak up the things I wanna say. I hope you would also find that courage in you and remember real friends don't judge and stays with you no matter what.. If your so called friends left you just because you said NO, then they aren't true friends. So, cheer up! =)

I can't say No in my house so Iam not familiar with the word NO. I will always say yes, because I never learn to say no :( I know it is sad, but I need to learn myself to say no.

It sounds like those people are users. You are better off without them. You have to take care of yourself.

I am not one to be forced to say yes. I will do anything I can and go all out for a friend but if it is something I don't feel right about or not comfortable with..I have no problem saying no. I think that although we should do what we can for our friends...sometimes at great cost...we also have a responsibility to ourselves. Real friends aren't going to ditch you because you express yourself or tell them no.

Honestly, I use to say yes always. But that was before, now I know how to say NO and stand firm when I say the word NO!

I only say "Yes" on something I know I can do and agree on. It's against my personal rules to offer anything of mine when I don't mean it. At least if I said "No", there won't be feelings of guilt when what I did doesn't meet their expectations or something :) Sometimes when people say "Yes" but ended up not doing that certain favor or the outcome is not favorable, people tend to lose faith/trust on that person. So, it's better to say "No" earlier :D

Yes this has happened a lot to me. I always use to say yes to things i never wanted to do. But now i am trying to change myself, learning to say no at times. It is important to learn this in today's world.

yes, me too. Sometimes I can't say no... & i don't know why... but sometimes when i am in bad mood i say no, and i don't care what they'll say to me. Yes, some people can't even accept no. they begin tell us something again to convince us.i don't like it very much. we just must learn saying no to people and act like we want. that's my opinion. p.s. nice question.

some people are not used to the word no and have their own way all the time, it depends what is expected of you, if these people do not contact you again after you said no then they are not worth bothering about, only say yes when YOU decide, and not when it is expected, do not allow people to put you in a position like that, and do not feel guilty by saying no, it's your choice, if they don't like it, then they are not worth your time, think about yourself and don't worry about others who expect things from you, NO is a small word but means a lot, i am sure people have said no to you in the past and it hasn't bothered you, well do the same if you don't want to do something, do be put under any pressure, do what you feel in your heart, no means no...right?

Due to situation and maintain the present relationship with one person we actually forced to say yes where we actually need to say No in that situation. The situation demands it more and person concern on it all matters in it. So many of us are tend to act like that we are favoring others and cheating ourselves.

This discussion reminds me of the movie "yes Man" by Jim Carrey. lol. Anyway, we should be able to know when to say no and when to say yes. We should be open to opportunities but analyze the risk to know when to say no.

Usually, the reson why they chose yes instead of saying no is because they wanted others to feel happy, especial, and important...But it depends on who is the person that will be receiving your yes answer. But, we should also practice how to say yes when it's really needed...