Does It Mean As Much?

Hi there LovingMyBabies!! I would want the apology to come from the person who offended me.But then he can't give any apology then it's hes lost not mine.I think if he keep on using excuses for him to not to apologize to the people that he offended more and more people will be mad at him and it will cause others to stay away from him.I think it is more painful to see people avoid you than to experience back pain.

He's being rude I guess out of his old age and the pain he's having. He's irritated and his rudeness comes out to other people. I think he feels it won't make sense at all if he keep saying sorry coz he thinks he'll be that way more often. And if the person would say sorry to me just because he was asked to do so... I would think it's not genuine so it doesn't make sense at all.

When people are in pain or stressed out it can do a lot of things. It will definitely change their attitudes and make them go on about things they would normally keep inside. I think a lot of his Complaining and rudeness can be because of the pain he is having. He is very uncomfortable right now and uneasy. I would just cut him some slack and try to help him in any way possible that can show him ur their for him and he may change his attitude a little. Hope this helps!

Yes your Mother had to remind him to apologize, but as you said he is in pain. Your father might be the kind of person that finds it very difficult to apologize. Your Mother's is nudging him to apologize and with her help, he does. I guess it is up to you whether you think he is being sincere or not. I think when people are in pain sometimes a lot of what they say is down out of anger and they are not thinking. A lot of times we say things we don't mean when we hurt or when we are angry. I guess I have to say it would not matter who encouraged him to apologize, just as long as he did.

I understand where your father is coming from. He is in pain and nothing feels comfortable to him. I also understand where you are coming from. He should just at least give a blanket apology. That way he could be sorry for every time he does it. Put yourself in his position and see how you would feel. I am sure everything irritates him because of his pain.

hey, not a good trait, but some times we have to accept peoples with their actual behavior.

Try to understand if he is in pain all the time some of the things he says maybe the pain he is in, so when it comes out it comes out hateful or rude. You think he would be more aware of his behavior but some people aren't that bright to realize they can hurt other people the way they say something. I too have back problems and when I am in serve pain, I can be rude and snappy sounding not meaning to be. I am aware of it so I apologize when I get like that to others. Like today I am in serve pain. I am not answering my phone because of it, because I don't want to have to apologize to anyone.

hi lpvomybabies no it wo uld not mean a thing to me if the person is too callous to do his own apologizing.Being in pain is no excuse for being mean and nasty to anyone. I have had lots of pain but I did not take it out on anyone else.One can rise above one's troubles and be decent to others in spite of pain. I know as I have been there myself Sometimes we older people get the idea our age lets us just say any damned thing we please. well I just do not buy that. No wonder some dislike getting older if it means you turn sour and mean. A decent person is going to try to be his best to others at all times. Of course we all fail once or twice but to be this way all the time is not right and really being sour curdles your milk of human kindness. any way thats my take. I want my apologies from the person who did mw wrong.

I'm pretty much a pacifist, so whether the other person apologizes on his own will or due to pressure from others doesn't really matter, as long as things don't get blown out of proportion. For me I would rather spend my energy on something more productive rather than harping on unpleasant things that other people do.

Hi, I would rather the person not say anything if their apology needs to be coaxed.

I always hear about apologies from the heart. Or accepting apologies from people because it came from their heart. So, I don't think it wouldn't mean as much if it came from somewhere else -like another person. I'm sorry your dad is going through much pain.

I'd rather not want an apology that is going to be rather forced. If it means something, than it is going to come. It kind insults me that someone is going to apologize when they are coaxed into it. Also there are times where people apologize a bit too quickly for my liking, because those people really don't think things through and don't really mean it. If people are going to apologize, then as far as I am concerned, it is their choice. Granted, if they are not going to do it and they are satisfied with their rudeness then so be it. Life does in fact go on. However, I think that a forced apology does tend to insult me just a little bit more than no apology at all. At least that is my opinion on the matter.

I do not like lies of any kind! So,no,I would not want a forced apology! It does not mean anything if it does not come from the heart! As to your father he should not be mean,back pain or not.I have a miserable time lately with my sciatica,but I refuse to take itout on other people.It is not their fault!

hey, thats ok they say because they are feeling pains and they are elder they can easily recognize their lacking and simplify them too..cheers

I personally would not want a coaxed apology. I feel like people are letting him slide if they make excuses that he is mean because of his pain. I know people who are in constant pain who are also very pleasant. They make the effort to be pleasant, because they know that the pain makes them cross. I have also known people like your dad. If you accept that he is going to be mean it allows him to do it.

Hi... I would accept an apology only if I am convinced that the person truly has regretted his rudeness to me... It would not matter who expresses the apology.. What matters is, the repentence of the person... I think your father has the issues due to age... Consult your family doc...

An apology at least makes them think of what they have said or done. I would rather have an apology then nothing....

I would appreciate an apology if someone was rude or whatever. This is something we appreciate in society. Your dad obviously realizes he did something wrong and should apologize. Your mom is just reminding him of his manners. I would give such a person a few points. He could have ignored her prodding.

Well, it doesn't mean a thing as well if he keep saying sorry and doing the same thing all over again. that maybe the reason why your dad refrain from saying sorry- because he knows he will say same thing again.

To me ,i would prefer that the apology be given by the one who owes it, not by someone who says it in his behalf. The apology by that someone in his behalf may be accepted just for the sake of saying it's okay, but then the hurt feeling would still be there in you.