Being civil
By C
@ShyBear88 (59347)
Sterling, Virginia
January 3, 2012 8:42pm CST
Will you or are you civil to the mother or father of your child even though you are not together at all or anymore?
Well I know if me and my husband are not together for some reason we would definitely be civil with him over our daughter. She is the one thing that we can agree on to be cool on no matter what. We would never want her to feel as though one of us loves her more then the other or have us fight to have her or see her.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
4 Jan 12
I fear it would be a tug of war. I fear I would use the child as a pawn. Or worse , I would get fed up about doing Everything without Any help I would leave! This is why I don't have kids. In a perfect world Every couple could be civil for the kids.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Jan 12
I never said you where together with someone. I said if you where or where not with that person to being in with and you have a kid together would you be civil. I never said it was a couple like thing. I used couple in mine since I am married and I do have a kid so there for I have to be civil to show this is what a good parent is either you love that person or no there is no fighting over who loves the child more or who wants to be with the child more it's hated down the middle the best way it can be because that is mine and the person relationship that I'm with. We equal share thins so there is no different weather we are together or not to how we share and act around our little one.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
4 Jan 12
Ok. If I am not with the father, there wouldn't be a baby to fight over! Being me it would be the A word. Or If I were like you, Pro Life, The baby would be put up for adoption. There is no way I am raising a child all alone! That is why I said if I were with the guy chances are if we broke , he would have to take the baby! In fact it wuld be better. Unlike you If I were all alone I wouldn't be civil, Far from it! That is why there are no children in my life save Sugar!
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Jan 12
You don't need to be married to have a babay and we aren't talkig about abotion in the discusstiOn there was no lead into if you had choice to have a kid. The question was if you have a child would you be civil to The other parent?
Being Madrid is my situation and you don't need a marriage part to answer the quation. It's a yes or no question. Like I said my answer is yes based of the relationship I have with partner I know we will be civil in that kind of situation because it's part of your personality and love of our child. We would slip our time with her as best as we can.
How ever that child came into the world. You have a pretend child and the father is whom ever and your relationship with him is what ever but you too are not together at all. Would you be cool with him for your child?
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
That's the correct attitude my friend, to be civil with one another even if you are not together anymore.
For the sake of your child you should be civil with each other, so that things with regards to her could be well planned and done.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
Didn't you read between the lines of what i told you my friend?
It goes to say, that i would be civil to my ex for the sake of my child.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
5 Jan 12
No because I what I read how you said it was just a comment as to what I said. You never said you had or if you had an ex that you would for your child be civil to the other person because it's the right thing to do as a role model to your children or child.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Jan 12
You didn't answer the question or it wasn't clear to me. Would you be civil to you child's other parent even if you weren't together any more?
Me and my husband we are golden nothing going on between us. I hope it never does.
@MinGia (29)
• United States
4 Jan 12
I have been civil to my daughters father even though he has claimed to have been unemployed for the last 14 years and does not financially provide for her. He also does not call very often or see her very often. But when he does, my daughter thinks he is the greatest thing alive. It really pisses me off too, but what can you do with a loser? Doesnt do any good to get mad at him, can't change him.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Jan 12
Yeah cant do anything about that but hope maybe one day that your daughter see what you have seen him do to her. A few phone calls and no supposed that's not a father at all. That is so far a very unfatherly thing that he does and choicen to do. But it is good that you are civil with him even though you dint like him.
@mcart82 (87)
•
4 Jan 12
That is the way it should be, unfortunately its not always that way. The father of my first son and me split up about 2 years ago, and our relationship has been not civil at all. He is trying to keep my son because he doest want to pay child support. When he speaks to my son he is always interrogating him about everything I do, not to mention he has said some bad stuff about me, making everyone think that Im the bad person here. We used to get along very well, we were together for 10 years, he left because he met someone else in one of his pharmacy rotations out of state. I got over it and re did my life. My son doesn't know what goes on between us because I don't allow it. Its all about keeping it between yourselves. Splitting up its a tricky thing and it may not turn out the way you thought. But at the same time I've met people who are completely different story, they work together to make it work for the kid, help each other, and are even able to stay as friends. It all depends on both people, how much they want the good of child and put aside their differences.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
4 Jan 12
I always see it as it's partnership no matter what. But some people Jair care about that money fact that they have to pay other person money and instead if thinking that money is or your child to get what they need it's lot for the other parent to use for what they want. Although I'm sure some do that instead o outing it towards there child. My cousin when her parents got divorced her and mom would more then all of the time take the money her dad gave then and put it into the bank so know she has a lot of money. Some it went to food , her car and phone bill that her mom pays for as well as holidays.
