... hubby wants to resign! Stress makes him feel this way!
By Lhenni
@Lhenni (1242)
Philippines
January 4, 2012 2:43am CST
He said he wants to resign and do some business instead. I think he's bored working. I know he had so much stress on his job so I just do my share to ease that by making our households and kids good (and him of course!). I just reminded him that he has 5 years more reaching his 40 for his planned early self retirement as we had settled then. We still have plans to buy a new "small" house for our retirement in our place of choice... so I don't buy his wanting! He should work 5 years more! That's final *LOL
He said he wants to enjoy his life now by some pleasure, but in our status now, it can't be! Our kids was still young and the 2 are not been starting their schools *sigh! And the medical benefits given by his employer. We can't afford to loose that *sigh again!
What if he starts a business now? He should still working in case it fails. A fallback, right?! And I'm not into business so I find starting one so hard. He wants a car parts and services business. I want a franchise hahaha.
Glad that he just wanted to resign but will not! I think he should need some motivation. I think he needs a vacation.
Stress... stress... stress! How you cope-up with stress? Can you share some?
4 people like this
19 responses
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
4 Jan 12
Your husband has some serious thinking to do, maybe you should both sit down and write down all the pros and cons and see if you can work together on a future plan, maybe seeing everything spread out in front of you a clear decision can be made.
@prettyruby (350)
• United States
5 Jan 12
I agree. If he already has experience running a successful business, then I would put that as a pro. However, it's really hard these days to start a business due to the economy, and running a business is really, really hard work (my parents have their own business). It's probably just as stressful as working for someone else in the beginning!
@sumatix (257)
• United Arab Emirates
4 Jan 12
i think its just the work load or stress which made your husband think this way..it must be just an outburst of his irritation facing same things on a dailly basis.Nowa days the world economy is crashing so many people are sailing in the same boat.facing job loss,more peer pressure,work load,higher targets..and much more..
he just need a break..plan some short vacation if you can to some cool and calm place where he can have a rest not only physical but also mental rest..
and more on it shed lots and lots of love on him that you can do..:)only
1 person likes this
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
He started to off his extra loads. He give up managing people that's not in his job function being only an engineer3. I think that managing more or less 30 people + meetings and seminars do a lot of stress in him. Now that he unload some, maybe his stress would go down too.
Oh well sumatix, FYI I showered him with so much affection hahaha... maybe I should need some stress-free day-offs too to shower him lots of love that yes, I should give only *LOL
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
Having a business really good because you cannot stress out from work due to a Boss that very strict and seems to a perfect person and know everything...
If you have money to do a business try it because your husband never go to work every and good is he stay with you and together help each other to make the business success
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
6 Jan 12
Yup!Really stressful having a nagging Boss. That is why I resign to my job before because the president of the school always shouting us when conducting a meeting and all the professor and instructor resign because they can't take what the president behavior to it's employee...
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
6 Jan 12
Hi Lhenni!
He need to seriously think about it more than ten times as it is not easy to set up a business. You really need skills and make sure you have a stable life in order to succeed. Plus do your husband think about the capital that he will going to invest and some emergency help or source of money to use when the business failed?? He really need to think about it since he is not single as he has to support family, you and your kids. Why not he just continue with his work and start make a small business. It is normal nowadays for a person to have more than job at the same time. You could help him with it as well.(^^)
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
It's so difficult nowadays if you have no job, specially if your wife is just a stay at home mom. Going into business can also be risky, considering that you are new on that.
Yes, maybe your husband should really motivate himself to like his job. Maybe he can ask for a less stressing assignment.
What is important is that he has to have a job and save more for the future.
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
He told me yesterday, he gave his extra loads to his fellow... he's been an OIC supervisor for a year now and it's not in his job function to do that. He's just an engineer3 and not supposed to manage people which he finds very stressing. By that, I think his stress should slower and slower *sigh... I like that!
I just want to share SIMP. Because of stress, he talked to my kids. My daughter is the only one studying for now. The second will be starting his school this year and the youngest is just 2 years old, more time to spend not in school. He talked to my 2 kids that they should do their best in school to get scholarship like what he's been in his schooling from primary 'till college... so that their tuition won't be our problem in the future... just their allowances! By that, he can resign now hahaha! What a good father huh! He's nuts to stress the kids to be scholar *LOL... but he delivered it in a very loving fatherly words! *nuts still!
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
I just told him, we can transfer and send the kids to public schools but he don't like the idea. Sorry, I'm not against to public schools but the fact that our kids have bronchial asthma and my daughter has skin asthma too... public school I think may lead the disorder fatal...
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
Actually, yes a public school is not a good place for children with sickness like those of your kids. Public schools are overpopulated. Here in our province, public schools operates half day for each grade, just to accommodate all grades for the whole day. That's because the pupils in one class is about 60 , so the room is so full.
So, the more that your husband should not resign yet, because the children needs to be in a private school. But if worse comes to worse with the financial aspect, there's no choice than to enroll them in public school.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
Aw I can see your point here. And I do think you should motivate him some more. Or think of one business that you both will like while you attend to it. If the business goes well then he can resign.
I think it's better for him to take a break for a while. Like two weeks or one month of vacation, just staying at home spending time with you and kids or go to some places just for relaxation. I think that will at least freshen him up
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
He's working here in Cavite that's why we also bought our property in here. But he has inheritance in Bulacan too that's why he has an option to be in there. Unlike my wanting in my hometown just to mess him up quite *LOL. I've no place of my own there.
We're still in a process of settlement. You're right, it's easy to say and really hard to decide. A long talk of understanding, thinking, weighing and finalizing is needed. We'll take our time. No rushing for a better praparation! *sigh... i'm stressed too huh!
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
Another problem en is, we're not settled where will be the homebase of our making "business". He wants it to be in his hometown in Bulacan, I want it in Makati as my hometown too hahaha. And we're living here in Cavite *sigh. He wanted in Bulacan because he has relatives there to get help and I feel the same way to be in my place in Makati. Maybe we should settle first this thing huh! So much settlement..
*sigh... I know it has time! I just hope it will be successful if started.
Cheers En!
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
Well if you both are gonna open up a business, make sure that you are also living near to where you are opening a shop. If you both are living in Cavite - then why not open a shop in Cavite. Maybe in the house you both are staying. Or rent a place near where you are staying. It is better if you both will be supervising it.
Or... if you have a house in Makati and his workplace is just near Makati then maybe you can shift there and start the business there. Depends on where both of you will settle eventually. 
Easy for me to say, but I know it's not really an easy decision for you
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
4 Jan 12
Unless he has a bunch of money saved up, he really does not have the option to just resign. His idea to start is own business is good, but the reality is that even more work will be required of him to make that transition. I would say he does need to keep the current job while he gets moving on the business. He must do this for a while and it will mean long days. Once there is some evidence that the business can be successful, then he may be able to quit the job and work full time on his future.
Stress is a challenge. Many factors can help, including rest, diet and exercise. A big part of the solution is also mental. He must have a way to get his mind off of all the demands of work and find at least a little time every day to be relaxed and allow his mind to be soothed.
Hope you and him can find the right path. I'm sure you are also very helpful in reducing his stress.
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
Thanks djbtol! We're in the stage of thinking and picking the right path for us...
We had saved money for the business we wanted and hopefully we can get it through!
Yes, I'll let him relaxed and allow his mind to be soothed. I won't talk too much with him for a day *LOL
@derek_a (10873)
•
5 Jan 12
When I finished working for a boss many years ago to start a business, I did so slowly. I would work on my business in the evenings and at weekends, and only when I was certain that my business was going to work, did I quit my job. It rarely goes to plan and it is not guaranteed to work out. Plans may work well on paper, but not in the real world. People say it is harder today, but I would say that is has always been hard to start a business. My Dad started his own before me and that many years ago and he warned me that it would take hard work. Harder work that I put in with my employer. He was right, and everybody I know in business has said the same thing. So take it slowly and find something that has a good of working out, and don't listen to all the Internet hype that you can earn thousands whilst sitting on a beach.. Good luck. It can work, as I have proved that for myself. But I can also see that it could have failed too, so there is an element of good luck needed. _Derek
_Derek @AgentGulaman (3546)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
I suggest that you should venture to doing business. That is where the money flows. Working is stressful and stress during work is unavoidable. That is why most people would rather venture in businesses. However, only a few would dare do so. Many lack the courage or even the idea to start one. It is a good thing that your hubby already has an idea of what he wants. Don't be trapped with the rat race. It is better to create jobs rather than work for a job. But of course, you will need capital. That should be the goal of working. Working to reach a certain amount of capital to start out a business.
Anyway, to answer your question in here, I do believe that exercise is a good way to relieve stress. Especially breathing exercises. It relaxes your mind and body and makes sure that ample supply of oxygen circulates to your brain. Another way is to work on his interests and hobbies. It should relieve him of stress, especially if he is into sports. And yes, vacations, especially the one which bonds you with nature, are a great stress buster. They say that when you are in a vacation, either a hike in the mountains, trek in a forest or swimming in the beaches; one synchronizes their body with nature. This way, his energy is filled up by the living energy of nature and eventually eliminates those bad energies like stress. I am sure that there are a lot of other ways to combat stress. But it would always be better if you can prevent the stress from coming or just avoid being stressed out.
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
What a suggestion! I want to try it all with him *LOL! I'm sure it will really relieves stress. I'll just start with the simplest form you had here... we'll followed by the money and time matter way in time.
We had a capital to start as what we had when our then company decided for a retrenchment. We saved it for the business we wanted and settled. Problem is, we should still have a source of regular income for the monthly expenses and to some untoward bills like health related and to those growing responsibility sending the kids to good schools.
Like you, he don't want to be trapped in rat racing. He wanted to be a boss someday. Have a family business that our children will benefits in the future. But I want to take our time thinking... and planning... and weighing things out first!
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
6 Jan 12
Sounds like he is really burned out. I think a vacation might help. I hope he just doesn't quit and leave you all in a bad place, financially.
@davaome (1826)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
Your husband needs time for a vacation and some time to unwind and rethink the situation. I believe that it is not practical for him to resign just yet because it would be ruining a master plan that you both agreed upon.
Just don't let him make the decision based on personal matters and encourage him to strive more and get his motivation up and running again :D
@nickaug (21)
• Cyprus
4 Jan 12
In order to start a business your husband will need to invest. In my opinion he should keep the job until the business is operational. Starting a business is a risking investment. If it fails he always has his job as a plan B. If he quits now and his business fails. You and your kid's lives are ruined. Your kids won't have education. You better talk to your husband about the issues before deciding to start a business of his own.
@Lone17Wof (14)
•
5 Jan 12
It would be best for the two of you to sit down, & discuss the problem.
Perhaps discuss what is stressing him out and why.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
You are right.
Your husband needs some space.
A good vacation indeed.
Then, you can talk with the matter while away from all stress and workloads.
He needs some relaxation - thats for sure.
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
I'm thinking and should plan a vacation to our family now. But wait... I'm thinking... maybe he should get stressed again if he will pay for the vacation cost *sigh!
I have some earnings here in the web and maybe I should withdraw some for a surprise vacation for the family and by that, maybe it can be of help not to add stress to him huh!
I'm saving it to surprise him that though I'm at home mom, I can earn by here. I can withdraw in my paypal just $130... He don't know this. It will help I know. I'll just buy some deal in groupbuying sites that I'm a member... Viola! He can problem just the gas for the trip. I want a deal vacation in Batangas with light show in the pool every evening for only P900 with free b'fast for 2... X2 because we're a family of 5... thanks jai!
@garson (884)
• United States
13 Feb 12
Just take many comments into consideration. Be blessed that your husband has a job while many are struggling to find employment. I am curious if your husband has time off (vacation) benefit. If he has, how long can he take time off?
I am not a business or financial expert. If he wants to start an offline business, he and you can research if there is a demand or whether opening such business would be profitable in your areas.
Also, if you stay at home, you can look into any online income opportunities that could help with funding everything. Your husband can do the same on the side.
@Pushhyarag2000 (1416)
• India
4 Jan 12
Hi Lhenni: your hubby is wanting to do the same thing that I'm trying to do currently, but I think a decade too sooner than me! lol. I want to do it because I have to move to a far off city in the same company. I can get another one closer to my current city. But I'm also working overtime to have some kind of income stream online. I have managed a month's leave from work & using max time to build some online business.
What alternative does hubby wanna do? If there are some critical family needs, he shouldn't do things in haste without having a good alternative. You are right in being firm about it! He should develop a different attitude to work. Let more work not affect his health & well being. Do all work sincerely but as matter of duty & routine. Some good breathing techniques will help overcome stress. For a few minutes twice a day should help.
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
My husband wanted to start a car parts and service business 2 years ago. We had agreed before that he can start it full-time when he reaches his 40. It's his planned early self-retirement. He just wanted a simple and I think very challenging life in doing family business that he said will benefit our children in the future. Hopefully in 5 years now, we can save for our childrens education that's why we are investing money in mutual funds and insurances.
I think my husband been stressed for over a year now because he had an extra load managing people that's not even in his job function as only an engineer. Glad that he just off-load it and has 2 weeks transition for the new manager. By the way, are you familiar with the six sigma training? He's into it for over 4 months I think, and completing his group six sigma project until the 27th of this month... and in Feb., he should start his individual share project which he has already in mind. On top of that very stressing routine in sig sigma, he's still doing his function to be a Test Systems Engineer and an extra load to manage 30 people that he recently off load. Plus the fact that there's tiring meetings to attend the day. It's just now that he's vocal in expressing that he is stressed out really!
Well, he just say it, of course reality he won't *lol. It can't be for now. Maybe it's his way to quite lessen the impact by just expressing his agony *LOL
I just let him go whenever his fellow ask him to have some relaxing night somewhere. Sometimes they do badmenton after office for some sweating. Dining-out with fellows without me *sigh. Coffee around before going home. Brainstorming with co-employee somewhere. I'm very supportive to him if he wants to go. I trust him that's why... and I want to help him coping with his stress by not being a strict wife. Anyway, we still have our family time.
Seems you are an organized person with what you shared here. Thanks for the wonderful point of view Pushh!
@abcuser123 (78)
•
4 Jan 12
Learn how to de-stress;its more effective in the long term. Find some time in his work to have regular mini breaks like a walk to the restroom or pantry. After work, find some relaxing activities to do - watch a movie or listen to some music. Sleep is very important in preparing ourselves for the next day; ensure he has adequate rest for the incoming day. If all else fails, consider switching to a less stressful job. Failing a business venture is another stress that your hubby does not want to take!
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
"Failing a business venture is another stress that your hubby does not want to take"... Absolutely right abcuser! Maybe my husband don't like the stress of having a boss (?!) *LOL...
That simple relaxing activities you said I think is missing. Recently, we are just watching dvd's at home. I will ask him this weekend to watch a movie with me in theater. Thanks!
Anyway, we are preparing ourselves going into business. It has the right time I know. I'm looking forward to that...
@nizamkhan1 (131)
• India
4 Jan 12
as we know that he want to live a free life then surely he is a free bird and wants to fly in the sky. that make him feel better and rejuvenates, he has growned his children at present stage then he will surely will take them to the final destination as well, as you are in stress, then surely he will have plans to make your stress out. just wait and watch he loves his family he know of being a leader..cheers
