my guy
By Jo Hill
@Carpathian (582)
United States
January 4, 2012 2:18pm CST
my guy and I have been together almost a year. He is going through a divorce and says he is still friends with his ex. What is bothering me is not that there is anything physical going on; it is that she can't do nothing for herself. So, she over spends her money and tears up her car. So, my guy is always helping her out. Now, he is talking about letting her use his old truck if he gets a new one. The same truck he said he would fix up for my son. Am I wrong to be upset? Or, is it I just think she is an adult with her own kid she should be able to take care of herself. And, no the kid is not my ex. but, he treats him like he is. What do you think I should do? Do you have or no someone who has this kind of problem? Being her friend is one thing but still taking care of her is another. Am I wrong about letting my guy take care of her? Please, give me your advice?
*Peace and love will get you through everything in life*
5 people like this
10 responses
@GardenGerty (160883)
• United States
4 Jan 12
I think it takes a while to set up that distance. My son was separated, in a bad situation, and the ex kept calling him to help her out. They eventually got their divorce. It has taken at least two years for him to separate enough that she is taking care of her needs herself and he is not having to "help her move" and re program her phone and fix her computer and hook things up the right way that were set up wrong. If you throw a fit, he will grow closer to her. Maybe you need to wait until he is divorced before thinking about counting on him for anything.
2 people like this
@Carpathian (582)
• United States
4 Jan 12
They have been apart for 3 years now. But, living in the same house. They are now living in different houses and it has been a year. And, they never have been in love. And, she is always taken advantage of him. And, he just lets her. What should I do to get him to see that as a friend she is not very good.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160883)
• United States
4 Jan 12
Then you will have to show him how a good friend and an adult woman conducts her life. If he cannot learn that, then he is not the man for you.
1 person likes this
@Carpathian (582)
• United States
22 Feb 23
Well, after posting on here, we heard on the radio that she was wanted for Embezzlement of funds from the school prom treasury. Her son was in school there. We could not believe she would do that and to his own Prom friends. So, he has not talked to her since.
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
1 Feb 12
This may be something that never ends with her or it may be something that is just temporary until she gets used to the idea of being without him. You must ask yourself if you will ever be comfortable with her being so NEEDY of him. If not you may want to distance yourself from him for a while.
1 person likes this
@smacksman (6053)
•
5 Jan 12
He seems to be a kind and caring chap. It is just a pity that he comes to you with so much 'baggage'.
You either accept that he is the way he is and that he feels responsible for others or you cut him loose.
He seems to be the sort of guy who would cope well with many wives and keep them all happy for most of the time. Would you make a good member of a hareem? 
@Carpathian (582)
• United States
13 Mar 22
You are so true you hit the nail on the head! And, Hell No I don't share well with others!!!
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
4 Jan 12
Maybe she should learn to fix her own stuff sometimes, and not over depend on your guy. That is totally wrong. They are completely divorced, no string attached anymore. Now, he is your boyfriend or fiance whatever, he should consider about your feeling. Maybe you should take an opportunity to talk to him, and talk it out loud. So, he should know what to do.
@kaykay543 (4)
•
4 Jan 12
You can only control how you react to the situation. You need to let him know how you feel and why it bothers you. The rest is ultimately up to him. You say they were never in "love" but obviously there is some kind of bond between them that he wants to continue.
@Carpathian (582)
• United States
4 Jan 12
I think you are right and I am going to have a nice calm talk with him. Wish me luck!
@shaggin (72183)
• United States
22 Feb 23
I can imagine being upset in that situation as well. This is a very old post but I am trying to read back to find out what exactly is going on in your newest post.
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
The way i see it, your guy still cares for the girl. If he don't then why does he have to do those things for the girl, when they are already separated and going through their divorce.
Perhaps, it would be better that you have a heart to heart talk with your guy. Just do it in a nice manner though, not in a confrontational way.
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
4 Jan 12
very difficult question.
I understand that you are caught up in a very awkward position.
but I can tell you that just anywhere where there was a divorce and former seems always the case.
simply because these people always remain friends and help each other.
I understand but we must endure because of ponakoga man fed up with him and always helps.
nice day!
@hnaboro (113)
• Uganda
5 Jan 12
This is a very difficult situation and you need to handle it with alot of care. Personally I wouldnt tolerate my Guy doing all those things to his Ex. It is a sign that he still cares for her and once the feelings are reawakened, you will be in the past. try to tell him how you feel about the whole situation.
