Dumb or compassionate?
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85147)
Shingle Springs, California
January 6, 2012 6:12pm CST
Just to show you my ex does have a heart. lol
He manages a restaurant, and when he came back from the break he discovered $500 missing from the safe. Only the chef and one other person have access, and he's suspected the chef of stealing food before, so he figured it was her. There are surveillance cameras, so he was going to have those checked. Apparently they are pretty high resolution. But first he decided to have a word with the chef. At first she denied it, but after he mentioned the cameras, she must have thought about it, because later she admitted it and agreed to pay it back by today.
So, he didn't report it.
Then yesterday her mom calls up, wants to talk to her about an aunt who's having breathing problems. After the call the chef says to him, "I have to leave, my brother is having breathing problems". He's going, "huh? Your mom said it was an aunt. And we're too busy, you can't leave before 1." So she leaves at 1:00, and tells another employee she won't be back today.
Great - there will be no $500 today, I am sure.
He's going to report it today, but I'm just shaking my head, thinking he's likely to get fired.
Dumb or compassionate?
17 people like this
56 responses
@celticeagle (164392)
• Boise, Idaho
7 Jan 12
He gives me a cavity. He should have reported it. Unless she payed it back right then I would have reported it. Especially when he suspected her before. Ugh! Sorry. Maybe i am alittle harsh. Just my immediate reaction and, to be honest, I probably wouldn't have waited too.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (164392)
• Boise, Idaho
8 Jan 12
Yes! I think Dawnald has the patience of Jude. I would have had him chopped up and in a box by now. hehe
1 person likes this
A cavity? 
@wolveren (1586)
• Cebu, Philippines
7 Jan 12
Hmmm, very interesting. I remember as a supervisor in a printing production years back, I caught some employee sneaking out some supplies from the shop. I am very close to the workers, and I vouch for them, but then sometimes you have to draw the line somewhere and give them ultimatums. I took responsibility for the missing supplies. Out here, poverty has a very ugly face, and it forces some people to resort to stealing. I told the thief, I know you need the damn money for your family. We can both get fired for this. I'll give you a chance to pay it back and keep your job. But you will answer to me and promise me you will not do it ever again, you know who's going after you and your family if you screw this up. I paid for the lost supplies myself, and he gladly paid me back every payday and he never stole anything ever again. hehe.
2 people like this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
Wow, I'm glad he paid you back.
Yeah, I feel badly for people who are really, really hurting, to the point where they can't feed their families, especially. But I think there's a problem in this country (and the whole world probably) where people see other people with things they don't have, and instead of living within their means, and finding a way to come by them honestly, they feel like they're entitled, and get themselves into a big mess trying to acquire them, financially or legally...
@wolveren (1586)
• Cebu, Philippines
27 Jan 12
Yes, it is sad, there's a thin line between greed and ambition. When you're in the middle of that line it's going to get very confusing. That's why some people need someone with compassion to guide them through the foliage of greed and ambition. You see, not everyone is evil, sometimes people do things out of grief, poverty and hopelessness. They need people to put them back on the right track because they can't figure it out themselves. Had I reported him, we both would lose our jobs, he goes to prison, slapped with a record, the future of a thief back in society is quite obvious. No one will trust him and there's a big chance he'll remain a thief forever. 
1 person likes this
@wolveren (1586)
• Cebu, Philippines
27 Jan 12
As for the chef's case. I would've done the same with her. Try to find a way to get into her head and help her. Her problem is none of my business but if it's going to put the business at risk, I have to intervene. But then again I have limitations. If she doesn't want to accept my help. Then she wants the other option. Jail or maybe she wants the mob on her tail. In this world we can't help everyone, we are not superheroes. We help those we can within our reach. But if they don't want our help, well, that is beyond us now. 
1 person likes this
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
7 Jan 12
It sounds as though your x-husband gave the employee an opportunity to return the money and she chose not to replace it. I wonder if she will ever return to the job? Guess I would allow the employee to have a couple of days to gather the money up and replace it but after that length of time, I'd report it. It can be a touchy situation since your x-husband runs the risk of covering up a crime, so to speak. Hope he's not blamed for the incident after it's been reported until his boss can review the video. My answer would be he is compassionate about this situation. His job may be on the line.
2 people like this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
As soon as she returned, he suspended her. Once the company looked over the videos, she was fired.
@ShepherdSpy (8544)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
7 Jan 12
I'm leaning towards B at this stage...so did he eventually check He actually had the chef caught on camera as evidence? I don't think with evidence in hand to incriminate Her that he'd have much of a problem proving his actions were honorable,and knowing he had evidence,what could the chef do? run? hide? $500 isn't enough to start a new life somewhere else with,or ruining your reputation over..I'm hoping She gets her head straight and returns the money.
2 people like this
@ShepherdSpy (8544)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
28 Jan 12
You posted this discussion 3 weeks ago...No Money has come back since?
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
She does not know about the cameras, but yes, they have her on video taking the money, and other things as well. If she tries to fight the firing she will discover just how much evidence they have.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
7 Jan 12
Sorry Dawn, but I have to agree with the others, what he did was good, but the chef took advantage of his kindness..Though since he knew she wanted to leave because an aunt/brother was having problems breathing and left like that, I would have considered reporting her then, because she obviously was trying to get away with taking the money.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
7 Jan 12
I understand your point, and I hope he doesn't loss his job, for your sake..
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
7 Jan 12
Unfortunately he has a heart & gave her a chance to save her job by paying back the money. She must have sensed that & took advantage of that. I can understand why your husband wanted to at least give her the chance to pay back the money, but unfortunately now it's his job on the line. Some people just take advantage of others by giving them a sob story or even worse using a sob story to get chances that they don't deserve. I hope your ex-husband doesn't have to pay for this woman's mistakes.
2 people like this
@soulist (2985)
• United States
7 Jan 12
I understand why he did it as well and it does show he compassionate. He at least gave her a chance to give the money back and save her job but because she didnt do it he is reporting it. Maybe the owner would understand wanting to give her a chance and be compassionate to your husband and not fire him but warn him next time to report it before giving a chance to someone. Sad that someone would steal the money though especially when there are cameras.
3 people like this
@prettyruby (350)
• United States
8 Jan 12
I think that it was compassionate of him to give the woman a chance, but it is too bad that she took advantage of him. I wouldn't say that it was dumb, but he obviously wasn't a good judge of character, poor guy.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
Yes he does, and no he didn't. He got written up. She got fired though, and the company is denying unemployment, so if she tries to protest that, she will discover that they have her on video.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
11 Jan 12
Sometimes our compassion for other people can make us do some pretty dumb things and I think that is what has happened in this situation. Your ex is the kind of person that still has faith in humans and because of that he does tend to believe them when they say they are going to do something.
I certainly hope that this isn't something that ends up costing him his job, but I do hope it is something that causes him to not have as much faith in human beings.
2 people like this
@Queen_11 (307)
• Philippines
7 Jan 12
I can definitely say that he is compassionate. I am just not comfortable calling him or any other person dumb but I think that the word "confused" fits him during that situation. He lost control on properly handling his chef. Your ex should make sure that proper documentation of what happened is made and that the owner of the restaurant informed immediately. I think that he will not get fired but this incident surely is a taint in his capacity to manage the business. Hope for the best :)
2 people like this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
He did inform his boss, and the girl has been fired. His boss is going to write him up, and that will probably be the end of it.
@cards538 (17)
•
7 Jan 12
This is a really difficult question to answer. I have to say that it was both. I would've told the girl to pay back the money immediately or he would turn her in. In my opinion, I wouldn't have said nothing because I could get fired. What she did was wrong, and I would make her pay it back immediately or tell on her. I understand what he was thinking, and it was very nice of him, but he needs to think for himself a bit more.
2 people like this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
She did try to give him a check, but he told her it had to be cash...
@roadrunner77 (173)
•
7 Jan 12
Well I would say that your ex is compassionate. Admittedly his generous nature ultimately backfired on him but at least he knows precisely where he stands with the chef.
2 people like this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
Yes, he does. She never again mentioned paying the money back....
@moneylots87 (521)
• Indonesia
7 Jan 12
I think the chef is the dumb! *thumb down*
And your ex is a compassionate! *thumb up* :)
2 people like this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
She is going to be shocked when she learns that they not only got her on camera stealing the money, but other things as well.
@IrishGal77 (260)
• Ireland
7 Jan 12
Hi dawnald,
G, I'm so sorry to hear that and really hope that those superior to your ex know that he meant well and wasn't intentionally letting this girl run away with $500 of their money so that they don't fire him because of it. If your ex thought that this girl deserved a second chance then so does he, does he not? It was a mere lack of judgement if nothing else and what kind of world would we be living in if we were all to be mistrusting, misbelieving not-up-for-giving-second-chances kind of people? I really hope your ex doesn't lose his job because of this girl and I'm sure he'll have learned a valuable lesson here (unfortunately).
IrishGall77 :)
2 people like this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
He got written up, but she got fired. It was all on video, which she has no idea about, so if she tries to protest anything, there is the evidence, and I don't see how she can deny it. She not only took that money, but smaller amounts, and food and other things from the kitchen.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
7 Jan 12
Hi Dawn,
I'd say that he is a little of both. I used to be more compassionate when it came to theives but I found that if you feel bad and let them slide, they never seem to learn. I worked with a girl who kept coming in and blatantly stealing on my shift. I did not want to report her. She had a little baby to care for. I warned her once and the 2nd time, I told her that the next time I caught her...I would have no choice. I did end up reporting her. Had my boss viewed the cameras, it was clear that I should have known she was doing it. I would have been fired too.
2 people like this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
It certainly didn't change anything with this woman, she never again mentioned paying the money back, and now she's been fired. The company is going to deny her unemployment, and if she tries to fight it she will find out that they have her on video.
@much2say (54916)
• Los Angeles, California
7 Jan 12
Wow. I'd have to say both!! It's not like a few bucks were taken from the register . . . it's 500 big dollars from the company's entrusted safe! Compassionate, yes, for giving that chef a chance . . . but dumb because it puts himself and his job on the line. He better hope that the person above him is just as compassionate (or dumb) for his managerial decision!! Oh, so did he report it? And then what happened??
2 people like this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
He did report it, and his boss said "you know you're going to get written up". The girl was fired, they have it all on video, so if she tries to fight anything she will not get anywhere.
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
I do sometimes wonder about the way he thinks... but then sometimes I do things and then wonder what I was thinking.
@sswallace21 (1824)
• United States
7 Jan 12
That's a great question. I guess the answer would be both. Unfortunately, his compassion has caused he to be dumb. I think it was nice that he gave the chef a chance but now he's going to lose his job because of it. What's the say, "damned if you do or damned if you don't." I think it definitely come into play here.
He should of just reported it then and fired her. Too bad for the manager. Best Wishes!
He should of just reported it then and fired her. Too bad for the manager. Best Wishes!2 people like this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
He won't lose his job, but I'm pretty sure he's going to get written up.
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
Well he's single and I need to get him out of my hair, so come on down!
@myzhian (584)
• Philippines
7 Jan 12
I think your ex-husband is compassionate in the sense for understanding the chef.....And dumb because he let this happen again and this time is more worst!... But don't worry my friend because everything that was taken from you for bad means, will always have a good replacement and blessings!
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 12
He was also hopeful that there was a chance she really would bring the money back.
