mom, i love you...but.....
@angelwithkids (1256)
United States
January 7, 2012 12:26am CST
right now my mother is annoying me!!! i'm constantly having to remind her that i have children that are to do chores every day, but she constantly wants to do it for them and then complains about doing it! i've had my children doing chores forever and they'll still do chores forever. she doesn't need to do them. i keep telling her, its their responsibility not hers. she used to get the belt out when we didn't do our chores and here she's not letting my kids do theirs! i've tried to be patient with her. i've even gotten onto my kids about how she's doing their chores and they need to make sure that they're doing it or i'll start handing out punishments. the kids complain about how she gets their chores done, while they're doing homework or still eating dinner. she's not giving them the chance to get started on their chores. i don't know what to do anymore. i'm so ready to have a peaceful house again.
2 people like this
9 responses
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
8 Jan 12
Maybe she needs some chores of her own. She probably just wants to feel needed or she is bored. Maybe you should encourage her to get a new hobby or join a club or volunteer some time somewhere. My mom is in a club for single seniors and volunteers at a thrift store a couple of times a week. She also volunteers at the food pantry, these things make her feel needed and keep her busy. I think your mom just needs an outlet for her energy.
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
8 Jan 12
noone has thought about the thrift stores. thanks for the idea! i have let her take over my kitchen. she gets to do all the meal planning and cooking. the kids are supposed to do the cleaning. she used to do all my laundry and then she complained about it. i had to remind her that i didn't ask her to do my laundry and i told her how much i did appreciate coming home to clean clothes and dinner ready.
1 person likes this
@bhonti (1246)
• Philippines
7 Jan 12
You should understand more your mother because she is getting older and might feel that you do not need her anymore. That is why she do some chores which are not even intended for her. I bet she is hurting everytime you comfront her for she might think that you do not appreicate her anymore. Let her do what she wants and what you can do is talk to your kids. Tell them to do their tasks immediately so it will not be spotted by their grandma and do it. Maybe they do not it immediately and do other things first that is why your mother do it.
1 person likes this
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
7 Jan 12
i don't confront my mother. i'll confront my kids. children and i have already had that discussion. once everyone is finished eating, they need to clean the kitchen up. of course, i'm not always diligent in keeping them on the straight and narrow, but we also try to adjust to what's going on that day. my mother realizes that I may not need her as much as i used to, but my sister is always needing her to take care of her child. my sister and i have tried to get her out into the community and try to find clubs for her to attend. but she comes up with excuses not to go.
1 person likes this
@emdjay23 (1575)
• Philippines
7 Jan 12
I love my mom too.. and I guess everyday she annoy me.. especially with some chores in our house.. we usually helped each other, we part task in our house.. but sometimes she doesn't want to do it.. so I have to do all those chores. Its kinda tiring that's why we sometimes fight over this.. Well I know my responsibilities but sometimes it just P*ssed me off.
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
7 Jan 12
Some moms are like this. I think she want's to feel needed. Give her a list of other chores, yours, that your children can't do. If she likes to organize, let her at your spice cupboard. If she likes to decorate give her color swatches to plan a living room with no set date to actually do it and so on.
1 person likes this
@tiina05 (2317)
• Philippines
7 Jan 12
hello,
Yeah, mom are sometimes annoying because of the things they do. Well, in your case you should talk to her but of course not shouting at her. You should be patient because she is getting old. That's what I am doing to my mom though sometimes I cant hardly hold my patient down. ha ha but mom is mom they are still the best even though how annoying they are, we cant hate them because we love them. 
So, you better be patient and sooner or later she will realize everything.
So, you better be patient and sooner or later she will realize everything. 1 person likes this
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
7 Jan 12
i yell at my kids for not doing thier chores and bite my tongue towards my mother. i was taught to never argue/fight with my elders and don't talk back. it makes it even harder for me to say anything toward her unless i put it on my kids. i've already given her my kitchen. when we moved into this house, it was hers to do with as she pleased. but if the kids don't clean it up right, she complains about it. instead of talking to the kids about it.
1 person likes this
@queen_ra45 (84)
• United States
9 Jan 12
All moms are annoying. Your mom is annoying to you and you are probably annoying to your kids lol. I am 31 with a four year old and new born and my mom never runs out of 'advice' for how to dress them, feed them, change them, swaddle my newborn, discipline my eldest... The list goes on! Really I think most mommies have only the best interest of their kids in mind. I've actually mastered the art of actively NOT listening. I recommend it.
@Hatley (163773)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Jan 12
hi angelwithkids wow thats a grandma for you,I had the same problem until I sat my mom down and told here I was all grown up and my kids knew they had to do certain chores. I explained that I was teaching my kids just like she taught me to help around the house. I told here when she did it for them it really got them all confused.
She finally gave in and let them do what they were accustomed to going'
so peace prevailed again. lol
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
12 Jan 12
i haven't officially sat down with her and talked. instead, i got a white board with the erasable markers, put up a chores list and a bible verse. it's helping a little. as least the kids can't argue about who's turn it is to do certain things. that's a third of the problem.
@bb_gabs (205)
• Philippines
12 Jan 12
You just have to be patient with your mom, maybe when she see a chore to be done, her mother instinct work. She doesn't remember that it is not her work anymore. Talk to your mom in a peaceful manner and encourage her for some extra curricular activities outside so she will also be busy.
@sumatix (257)
• United Arab Emirates
7 Jan 12
take some day out, talk to her in a peaceful ambience polite but firm that you want your kids to be responsible so pls help you in achieving that.most of the times grannys are that, and more over the oldies generally have this thought that they are allwaz right and its really difficult to deal with this.
try to engage her with some other activities. maybe you can ask her to help you out oin your kitchen work..or get her join some oldies club where she can find friends of her agegroup..so you can divert her interests.
1 person likes this
