Are You A Solitary Person, or Surrounded by Others?
By timetravel
@timetravel (1425)
United States
January 7, 2012 10:17am CST
Some people are more comfortable being alone, maybe with just immediate family members around and nearby. Others constantly surround themselves with people, feeling very lonely when no one else is around.
I find I am quite content when alone. When I reach the point of wanting to talk with someone, one of my young adult children will be around, or my husband gets home from work. Otherwise, chatting here and on Gather, and earning money online, and playing with my two rescue cats makes me feel just fine. When younger I used to love to go to parties, social events, etc. I don't even think I would want to work outside the house now. It's not that I don't go out - I go out every day for a walk. Either just a walk, or to the grocery store, or the nearby 7-11. But again I'm quite happy going during the non-rush times when there are fewer people out and about.
What about you? As Neil Diamond sang, "Solitary Man"(woman)? or a busy social bee?
5 people like this
25 responses
@moneylots87 (521)
• Indonesia
7 Jan 12
I am more tend to be social person, I can't stand to going alone, for hangout or eating, need to be with friends or lover! But sometime i just really enjoy to be just doing something by my own! But again I am more to be social person.
3 people like this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
7 Jan 12
Usually no one is so extreme either way that solitude or friendship are ignored. It's just certain people lean more one way than the other. You are more on the social end, yet still have your quiet, alone times.
2 people like this
@prettyruby (350)
• United States
10 Jan 12
I think I'm the same way moneylots87. I like going out and doing activities with friends or family, but sometimes I need some alone time as well. I love going to museums by myself or on solitary walks :) Or, sometimes, it's nice to just stay at home and play on the computer or read a book.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
7 Jan 12
I am a solitary woman, 'though always surrounded with family members, I don't know why I feel emptiness or loneliness sometimes. The good thing was that like you I was enjoying this online activities. I feel like chatting with many different people
3 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
7 Jan 12
en
Yah,I am more comfortable having fun online than going out in a crowded place 
Yah,I am more comfortable having fun online than going out in a crowded place 2 people like this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
7 Jan 12
I think because online we are not physically surrounded by so many other bodies! So we can be with others while still having space. It's perfect.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
8 Jan 12
The older I get....the more I love staying in. And I don't need alot of people around me....I do like having the kids come home for a visit...but I don't run with a big crowd. The only real socializing I do is going to a club meeting once a month....and traveling to see a friend. I have everything here I need to keep me happy most of the time...my hobbies mean alot to me.
2 people like this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
8 Jan 12
that's so true, jillhill! By the way, my sister's name is Jill! I like getting together with a friend here and there, but not for long and not too often. That way it is special when we do.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
7 Jan 12
I need a mix of both things. I enjoy spending time with other people and I am always excited to meet new people, but I also need to spend time by myself. Some time ago I took some classes at a big school. Each day I dinner in a room with hundreds of people and I liked the feelings of having lots of people around me. I also enjoyed the classes where I met the other students, but when the day was over I enjoyed spending some quiet time alone. I like to be surrounded by people, but I also need to spend some time on my own every day.
2 people like this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
7 Jan 12
When I was in college I went to a small, private one - Loyola in Maryland. I loved the hustle and bustle when we all went to classes and hung out at the student center and student restaurant - yet I also liked that it was a small, private college and I could always find a bench to sit on and do some coursework, or just read. It was the perfect college environment for me.
1 person likes this
@mohkanari (1957)
• India
7 Jan 12
I think solitude is right condition to get pure enjoyment of thoughts. But I love to have a lively world not far to me so that I can wander there and return to enjoy my solitude.
2 people like this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
7 Jan 12
that's what I have living in the city - I'm surrounded by a lively city world, yet have peace and solitude within my four walls. A good blend for me.
1 person likes this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
8 Jan 12
Same here, FluxNL. If I had my druthers, as they say, I would always work alone. I can focus and get things done easier.
1 person likes this
@shibham (16977)
• India
2 Feb 12
Hi...
I am surrounded in college by my colleagues but other time, i like to be isolated and most often i am busy enough with my study and research and thats why loneliness has become my hobby. I feel quiet comfortable being alone as no one to take my time and i can live my own life.
Have a nice time.
1 person likes this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
11 Mar 12
sorry, shibham, didn't see this until now! I know what you mean - you can live your own life without having to worry about bothering another or interfering somehow. I, too, am quite comfortable being alone.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
7 Jan 12
I don't want to be tagged as solitary, but I don't like crowd either.
I just want a peaceful environment- and not a noisy one.
I am more comfortable when I am alone but I do go out with friends and hang out with them too.
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
7 Jan 12
You have both probably worked out a comfortable medium in between being alone and lonely and too many others around. If you can do it, that's great!
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
7 Jan 12
same here jai
I feel more comfortable alone, but I also love hanging out with friends.
I feel more comfortable alone, but I also love hanging out with friends.1 person likes this
@gloamglozer (1289)
• Australia
8 Jan 12
I feel like that too. I feel more comfortable by myself but I still want to be around friends. I can feel uncomfortable when around strangers at a party where I dont really know anyone though.
@free_man (7330)
• United States
8 Jan 12
Hi Timetravel and welcome to my lot. I thank God that me and my husband are both the kind of people that can just enjoy each others company and be happy with that. I hate being around people these days there are so many out there that are just give me what I want and not think of anyone else. We go to the stores when it is early in the day so we don't have to deal with people that are just plain rude.
@free_man (7330)
• United States
8 Jan 12
We hate going into stores when they are full of people because they are so rude it is like the world revolves around them. When we go anywhere we are polite to everyone. We get out of the way of everyone. I hate going to the store and there will be someone in the middle of the row and don't seem to even notice that anyone else is there. When I encounter someone like this I clear my throat and say excuse me we would like to get by.
1 person likes this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
11 Jan 12
It's funny - in the area where I live certain people are very rude in the way you describe - yet if I were to do the same to them, they would give me an evil look and say, loudly, Well excuse me!. They can dish it out but can't take it.
The person in the middle of an aisle is usually big enough to block both sides around him or her so no one can easily pass by - and Heaven forbid you also have a shopping cart!
1 person likes this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
8 Jan 12
I know what you mean. I try to get to stores when they are less crowded, too. Also, I shop a lot online and am able to avoid lines and rude people this way. Happy myLotting to you!
1 person likes this
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
9 Jan 12
Same like you. I am content with what I have now. When I want to be with my friends there we go. When I want to get alone-it kinda impossible as there is always people surround me and they always busy to know what you are up to. I prefer to live with others even if most of the time I wanted so much to be alone but it is much better to have others with us than no one.(^^)
1 person likes this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
11 Jan 12
yes, it is good to have others, but I don't always need them around - I like solitude and personal space means a lot to me. But if no one were ever around I would go crazy! At some point the need for human interaction is there - even if just to show someone something funny one of my cats does!
@alberello (4752)
• Italy
7 Jan 12
Dear friend, I prefer to spend my free time alone.
I consider myself to be in trouble when I'm surrounded by people, whether they were relatives or friends or strangers.
At home, however, live in the family and unfortunately, the relations are somewhat weak among us. For this reason, every day I go out at least one hour alone, even for a walk.
So, just to answer your question, I consider myself solitaire.
2 people like this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
7 Jan 12
I know what you mean regarding family, alberello. Although I have family, outside my husband and two young adult children, we are not close and I almost prefer it that way. Family relationships are strained to say the least, and my sister and two half sisters have done things over the years that cause me to stay away from them. One has chosen to separate herself, anyway, from our family. My parents are both deceased, along with all but one aunt from my aunts and uncles. My cousins are scattered with their own families. I do keep in touch with a distant cousin here and there via facebook only because of her ties to my dad's family.
When my husband was off for nearly two weeks over the holidays I felt crowded here and we live in a decent sized house! Getting out each day for an hour or so really helps during those times!
1 person likes this
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
8 Jan 12
hi dear timetravel, I am no social bee at all. I love commenting here on mylot and also am on gather. As an old fashioned bookworm I love my books and also love writing and getting snail mail for sure. I could occupy myself happily without actually meeting other people. LOL.
Will write a PM to you in a moment.
1 person likes this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
11 Jan 12
Okay RitterSport I will check on Gather. I am happy, too, not being a social butterfly...I much prefer my online friends and activities and my cats. And reading and watching my favorite things - almost all sci-fi related - on t.v., dvr-ed, or dvds.
@trinkabelle (432)
•
8 Jan 12
i have always liked my own company but do like to chat with my friends every now and then, i am not good with a lot of people around me, i am so used to the quiet, too many people stress me out, i used to work in a very busy environment a few years ago and it got too much, i also live alone which suits me fine, my kids have their own homes now, i am not a total recluse and i do see my family, but i am quite happy to spend more time on my own than not, i too have 2 rescue cats and they keep me company a lot
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
8 Jan 12
It's amazing what wonderful company our pets can be - sometimes more so than other people! My two rescue cats are my babies. You sound very similar to me. Happy new year to you!
@trinkabelle (432)
•
8 Jan 12
oh i would be lost without my babies too, they are great company, and they seem to sense when i am not feeling well, they come up and sit with me and snuggle up, i used to be a singer 5 years ago and i did this for 15 years, the job got a bit too much when people started fighting and i almost got hurt one night through no fault of my own, just a bunch of kids not being able to handle their drink, so after that i gave up the job and took to my 2nd love, making jewellery, this is what i do for a living now and i work from home which is perfect for me, it's quiet, much different than being in a room full of screaming alkys...LOL...i wouldn't have it any other way
1 person likes this
@trinkabelle (432)
•
8 Jan 12
i just sent you a friends request too, i hope you don't mind, and i just saw your babies, they are so adorable, what beautiful cats you have, when i get the chance i will post a pic of my babies, they are around the same age as yours i think, by looking at the size of them, they look around 4 years old, they are lovely, i am a massive cat lover and have always had cats in my life, :)
1 person likes this
@pacman111 (25)
•
7 Jan 12
I preferred being alone than having lots of people talking nonsense things or making unfunny jokes.
I just feel comfortable when I'm alone or with just few people around me. I can fully express myself to those few people since I know they will listen to every words I would say.
2 people like this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
7 Jan 12
That is so true, pacman111. The fewer people around, the closer you can feel to them and know you are being listened to. With lots of people around it's difficult to tune out all the nonsensical "buzzing"!
1 person likes this
@derek_a (10874)
•
8 Jan 12
I have always preferred to spend long periods of time alone. I grew up with a large family. I had three sisters and my two eldest ones stayed with us for a while with their husbands, and that made quite a crowded house. I was often out with one friend and quite often alone with my pony. I would often disappear into our spare room when I would play with my trainset when I was younger. I got to admit that I like family around, but not too much.. I work alone and prefer it this way too. _Derek
_Derek1 person likes this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
8 Jan 12
I don't blame you. It seems often when one grows up in a large family and has little personal space in the home, they end up preferring solitude over a large family and constant company.
@idowrite72 (2213)
• United States
8 Jan 12
I am a solitary person, even though I come from a large family and have a large family, I spend most of my time by myself. Most of the time it doesn't bother me and I can find things to amuse myself at all times. But other times, I would rather have someone with me........like New Year's Eve, which I spent home alone. I really don't mind my own company, as someone recently asked me, and that's a good thing!
1 person likes this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
8 Jan 12
Yes, it's nice to welcome in the New Year with someone - but it's not always necessary. I came from a small family and married in to a small family. I don't think I would have fit in right with dozens of siblings, in-laws, cousins, aunts and uncles, etc. Some people like it, I prefer smaller. I did want three kids, but I was almost 38 when my second was born and my husband was three months away from 60, so we stopped there. He also had two from his first marriage, so he has four all together. I only had the two - eight years apart in age. So my cats became my new babies.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Jan 12
hi timetravel I love being alone as I feel after having worked in the public either as a nurses aide or a library page all my working years, now I can relax and enjoy more peaceful surroundings. I do go down and play bingo occasionally but really I am on here mylotting most of the day .I did love both jobs but then I was younger and healthier and moved a lot quicker too. lol lol.I have Kathy to keep me company and my son comes to see me every week,I am just comfortable in my own skin now.
king years, now I can relax and enjoy more peaceful surroundings. I do go down and play bingo occasionally but really I am on here mylotting most of the day .I did love both jobs but then I was younger and healthier and moved a lot quicker too. lol lol.I have Kathy to keep me company and my son comes to see me every week,I am just comfortable in my own skin now.1 person likes this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
8 Jan 12
that sounds like a nice life you have now, Hatley. Yes, when I was younger I loved being active in college, and working for protective services - going places with my kids when they were young - my gosh, we went everywhere! I used to drive to Pennsylvania a lot with them - my kids are eight years apart in age - and we used to take my daughter's friends with us to various places - we'd go down to the Inner Harbor, the Sandy Point Beach and state park - just for the day. We'd go to the beach every summer - I still remember putting my baby son down for a nap on a beach towel, under an umbrella to shade him from the sun, and i'd lay down next to him and we'd both fall asleep...luckily my husband was there, on his chair, under his umbrella, reading his New York Times...I do miss those times sometimes.
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
8 Jan 12
Not a dual personality, beamer88, just two sides to your personality. There's a part that needs some space and alone time, and a part that other times wants to join in the fun and communicate personally with others.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
8 Jan 12
I greatly prefer alone. I understand that most people need other people in their lives, but I have never felt that way.
I feel more 'alone' and empty, when I am in a group of people. Being surrounded by people is nearly oppressive to me. Like being shoved into a tiny closet, filled with clothing so as to make it hard to move.
No, instead I prefer the empty house, quiet and relaxing. Where I am able to do as I please without bothering anyone else, or anyone bothering me.
Perhaps someday I will feel lonely. Perhaps I'll desire someone in my life, a friend, or a wife, or something to that effect.
But today Solitude is my best and closest friend. One that has never hurt me, or rejected me, unlike those in the past.
May it ever be.
1 person likes this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
8 Jan 12
Solitude can indeed be beneficial as long as it remains your friend and doesn't hurt you...I like having a husband and immediate family; I just don't always want to "be" with them. My preference is to spend the majority of my day alone, being together when it suits me heheehe...guess you can't have it both ways, huh?
@francesca5 (1344)
•
8 Jan 12
i like to be alone when i am at home, but i like to socialise when i go out.
part of what i do for work is at home alone writing, and part is much more sociable, so i try to keep a good mix of the two.
but i like to maintain my own space at home, very much, but when i'm out i like to see and meet people.
1 person likes this
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
8 Jan 12
I, too, enjoy working alone from home. I am hoping to make enough to survive on if need be. Yet I don't feel the need for a big social life outside of those I respond to on the internet. It is far more satisfying keeping in touch via email or facebook than actually getting together with another - at least, for me.
