Mean It When You Say It..
By xien2xien
@xien2xien (1382)
Philippines
January 9, 2012 12:17am CST
Sometimes i feel very sick and tired of hearing my friend's frustration about her boyfriend, everytime she and her boyfriend have misunderstanding she will always say she don't like him any more, that she will start to move on, that she will be okay without him, but still in the end they will always get back together.
I felt like a bad friend since i'm getting tired of giving her advice, before when she confide on me i will always give her a positive and good advice, i will comfort her and hug her until she stops on crying, but this last few days when they broke up or have a misunderstanding, i just only say, don't think about it anymore maybe later or tomorrow everything will be back to normal so don't waste your tears and give yourself more heartaches...
I just wish that next time she'll just mean what she says so that things will move on and not goes round and round to the same nonsense situation
1 person likes this
8 responses
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
this was a good advice but i just can't do this i think it's a bit of being so mean if i won't say anything lol, plus i hate to see her cry all the time she's telling me the story, so i just keep on entertaining her and as much as possible makes her forget the issue because when things cleared up they will be back to each other again so i much think that it's a waste of tear for her
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
11 Jan 12
yeah i guess there's no other way to avoid her after all, but i've got new strategy in this situation, i'll just entertain her and change the topic until she'll forget why she comes to me. in this matter she'll forget the situation she's into
@madugulagopi (1093)
• India
9 Jan 12
The Problem here is relationships doesn't end with a small day to day fights or misunderstandings. Even my Gf says that she doesn't want to look my face again and all after a fight but after a day everything comes back to normalcy. These are all the things said in anger or disappointment but they never meant them truly. The mistake that your friend is doing here is telling it to you everytime she had a fight with her BF. Thats not the right thing because you have fights with ur partners every now and then and you cant go and tell that and your feelings at that point of time with your friends because those feelings are temporary and came from anger and disappointment. So next time when she comes and tell you just hear her and tell that everything will be alright. Its always better to not interfere between ur friend and her BF.
@02Alexander (25)
• United States
9 Jan 12
I agree totally...its only out of anger that we say and do the most stupid things. Don't interfere, just lend an open ear to her frustration.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
she's always asking for my opinion and makes me play the expert in giving love advice lol, but at time i get tired so i've changed my strategies that when times she's looking for me and i sensed that this is all the same old story again, i make the topic twisted and entertain her with jokes until the whole topic is changed by some other nonsense or with sense chit chats at least in this way we just leave the topic and before she knew it it's all over and they were back again
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
10 Jan 12
If you've been to a relationship, one that's very deep, and one where you've grown really attached to, perhaps you'd understand your friend more. What's sad is that this friend of yours does not realize that her love affair has become really unhealthy. Chances are she has a big contribution to that as well. Attitude problem or whatever.
As a friend, I suggest for you to just be there for her. But let her do the deciding. Not you. Your sympathy is enough.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
11 Jan 12
I think you were right there must be an attitude problem in this matter as well as an unhealthy relationship between them, their relationship was more of a bad times than the good times i guess since she's always down and always crying since then..
thanks for the comment
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
9 Jan 12
You are not alone. I too have friends and family members who do the same thing. Like you, at first I gave advice, listened to the tears and the false promises of moving on and not letting the men take advantage of them. However after a while, I too started to get sick of them always saying they weren't going to put up with it, only to go right back to the man causing the trouble. I stopped getting involved and instead told them that I would be more then happy to support her but that I thought it best not to give her advice. I told them that the best thing to do would be to just follow their heart
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
11 Jan 12
besides in the end no matter how good our opinion and advice to them in the end they will always follow what they really wanted to do or what they really feel deep down inside them... anyways thanks for the comment
@02Alexander (25)
• United States
9 Jan 12
Poor you! Your friend sounds like she needs help on making the right choices. However, sometimes we say things out of anger but don't really mean them. She's just venting, but her heart says otherwise. All we could do as her friend is listen and reassure her that everything will workout eventually.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
yes this was what i've been doing for the past 1 year and half just comforting and comforting her everytime they had a fight, and i also agree that there are lots of words and that we sometimes says when were angry but the most of it was we really not mean it that way.. thanks for the comment
@parascevi (313)
• Greece
9 Jan 12
I think that you should talk to her about the way she reacts and let her understand that you find her attitude tiring.Explain to her that when she says something she should mean this otherwise the others will not take her seriously about her words and actions!Maybe this will solve your problem and the next time she will be more careful and think before act and say!
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
11 Jan 12
sure thanks i'll take this advice and do this the next possible situation it can be fitted. Sometimes truth really hurts but if this ca make her be a better person i'll surely say that she should change her attitude after all... thanks for the comment and advice
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
13 Jan 12
That happens with friends. It's like they do not really need our advice, they just need our ears to listen to their stories. I have a friend just like that, so now I told her: talk to him and ask him. I wouldn't know what he was thinking. Sounds mean, but she does not really want my advice, so... watever
@seriousnuts (508)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Sounds like your friend is just saying those things to vent out her feelings and nothing more. I also have encountered a family friend who would always drop by and tell us about her love life. Recently, she broke up with her fiance. She said that she would never waste one drop of tear for him and is very very happy with her life right now. I don't think it's true though. But I understand that she has some pride and would like to say things that make her feel good. Just let your friend say whatever she wants. The downside though is that these friends have no idea that hearing them say things that differ from their real feelings could really turn our heads upside down.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
i definitely agree with what you said and i think that she's just saying this to boost her ego and to let her feelings out to widen her chest.. thanks for the comment friend and i hope that your family friend could get on with her life goodluck to her
