feel unease living with parents-in-law under one roof
By eldowawa
@eldowawa (11)
Indonesia
January 9, 2012 8:36am CST
my hubby and i haven't bought a house yet since i moved in my hubby's family one and half year ago.i returned to his parents' house two weeks ago from my hometown where we married and the celebration. i know my parents-in-law hope we move out to live on ourselves. but we really don't have enough money left even for one month's rent after marriage trip to my hometown. currently i'm looking for a job but i was late to be back here for the interview so i missed the chance to take the job that probably i could get. this house is not ours. i dont have the right to run the household and i feel very unease that i'm doing nothing beneficial to our living. i wanna cook but this is not my house where i can not be the HOSTESS. i do cleaning though, which justifies me living on the old generation a little bit. when i get much laundry to be washed, i have to wait for my mother-in-law's laundry day schedule.
.....
have you ever experienced as i am? what did you do to lighten your stress?
4 responses
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
10 Jan 12
Actually, for the first seven years that my husband and I were together we did live under my mother's roof because it helped my mother because we were paying her rent and it helped us because it was saving us some money.
With that said, there wasn't a lot of stress involved in it at first because we had our space and we only shared space for eating and such. However, later on, my brother and sister-in-law and their daughter moved in and at that point I knew that we had to have some space of our own because we were cramped.
@parascevi (313)
• Greece
10 Jan 12
I have seen similar experiences like yours from friends of mine. Most of them didn't feel very good and your picture reminds me of them very much. They felt uneasy, like guests or strangers,stressed and feelings like that. I think that your friends might help you to relax ,you can find activities outside the house, so as to change your place and feel more revived.Also is good ,if you can, to try find a job even a voluntary one just for experience and having an interest.
I hope to help you these thoughts. Good luck
@tamirs (1807)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
My greatest fear in my married life 
I know this can't help but i just want to tell you that living under my in-laws roof is my greatest fear in life.
My father and mother thought me to finish my college and have my own career so that i will not be downgraded by my in-laws.They had their share of life and they know how hard it is to be with in-laws.
So,i did..When i got married my husband and i knew that i will not go along with his parents so we tried our best to work and rent for a small apartment near our working place.Now,we are living under my parents house because we still don't have our own but hopefully we can build one in the next years so we have something to call our own.
My husband loves my parents "more than his parents" and so as my parents to him.That is why we opt to just stay here than in theirs.I can't imagine how life will be if we will live in my in-laws house.
I know this can't help but i just want to tell you that living under my in-laws roof is my greatest fear in life.
My father and mother thought me to finish my college and have my own career so that i will not be downgraded by my in-laws.They had their share of life and they know how hard it is to be with in-laws.
So,i did..When i got married my husband and i knew that i will not go along with his parents so we tried our best to work and rent for a small apartment near our working place.Now,we are living under my parents house because we still don't have our own but hopefully we can build one in the next years so we have something to call our own.
My husband loves my parents "more than his parents" and so as my parents to him.That is why we opt to just stay here than in theirs.I can't imagine how life will be if we will live in my in-laws house.
@areskya (398)
• Indonesia
9 Jan 12
Hi, eldowawa.
I never be at your position, but I often heard that such kind of uneasy feeling while staying on parent-in-law especially for those are newly bred since you're in adaptation process in understanding their way of life and thinking. Moreover, you have lack of economy as now, it could make them underestimate your position and makes you have to do that servant jobs. But don't make this condition ruin your happy married but think it as an obstacle to have life with your family in the future. Make your uneasy feeling becomes happy feeling.
Keep on spirit to get your dream and enjoy your life.
