Are you an easily jealous person?
By kingparker
@kingparker (9673)
United States
January 9, 2012 8:59pm CST
Here is a co - worker of mine, she told me that her husband is a jealous type of person. He doesn't want her to work, because he afraid that she will talk to other male counterparts, which make him suspicious all the time. He doesn't want her to work late, because he felt insecure she might be somewhere else, and not letting him know about it. Sometimes, he might gone crazy, and scream at her. Sounds like this person is super insecure about his wife out there at work. She also feel a bit afraid of him. I understood some men might act like this, but that just overboard, and there won't be a single person can handle a jealous person like that. What do you think she should do? I felt sympathetic to her.
1 person likes this
15 responses
@Leocen (178)
• China
11 Jan 12
she should have a serious talk to her husband make him know that he can't keep watching her 24hours a day,even if she doesn't work ,she can make a way cheaing on him if she want.then tell him that she is not this cheating person and ask him why he has little confidence about himself or about their relationship...
communication is indeed needed.
@emdjay23 (1575)
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
Every one has its ow jealousy.. they just don't know how to express it or is it the right way to express it.. the thing with your co-worker i guess its not jealousy Per Se but Insecurity.. You're right!
Maybe as for the wife, she should talk to her husband, Its not healthy humiliating yourself in front of others.. So I would suggest they should talk about thing and avoid jealousy.. if the man really loves his wife he'll trust her..
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
10 Jan 12
I can be a jealous person for sure. I've never screamed at my hubby only when he makes say an unscheduled pit-stop after work with the guys to a bar or something. I hate worrying and I also hate being cooped in the house with the kids all the time so if he gets to go out I'd like to also
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
10 Jan 12
I don't get jealous very often, but my husband is very jealous. He is afraid that I will find someone else and afraid that other men are more interesting than him. He has got nothing to worry about, because I am not interested in other men, but he is still afraid of losing me. There are some differences between my husband the man that you decribed, because my husband doesn't scream at me and we don't have many arguments about his jealousy.
I don't know what the woman from your discussion should do. I think that the problem is her husband's insecurity, and he is one who has to do something about that. She can tell him that she isn't interested in other men, but if he doesn't believe her, it will be hard for her to convince him.
@parascevi (313)
• Greece
10 Jan 12
Many couples face this problem with jealously.Men and women sometimes become so insecure and dominant to their partners that often this attitude leads to a divorce or break up.I think that your friend should talk to her husband about this problem and give him to understand that she can not withstand such a behaviour.She can reassure him that she is not the kind of woman who betray her husband and also that attitude is very insulting to her.Is very insulting when your husband does not trust you ,then why she got married her?
All of the above should be mentioned to her husband and maybe she can change his mind,which i honest find difficult because i have been there in her shoes and these kind of jealous people does not change easily.
@Devilova (5392)
• Indonesia
10 Jan 12
This was my brother's words to figure it out what is jealous about.
"Give me the problems, even the hardest.I'll try to solve it, no matter what and no matter how.
Give me the enemies, even the strongest.I'll fight it to my last breeth.
But don't give something that I couldn't handled, even the easiest.Something that called jealous".
By that, I believe how hard to face a jealousy.
I think that your friend's husband get too over jealous.My brother said that as long as He doesn't see with His own eyes.That feeling won't comes to His mind.
@sijabatnaburjut (2171)
• Indonesia
10 Jan 12
I thought showing our attention to the one we loved with jealousy or envy is good, but how if our jealousy become threatens to our loved one, sure there is no one who wants to be in the position being envied. The relationship could end tragically. I don't how to comment on people who have marital problem especially in jealous problem, they should talk what they have faced and brought this topic as serious issues. A problem like this has to be ended. It is no good too much jealousy, anxious and suspicious in marriage.
@rajeev075 (1961)
• India
10 Jan 12
I think it normal that can happen to any man who love too much to his wife. But i suggest her to take her to doctor. It is the problem of insecurity and not jealousness. Some time one love or like a thing too mcuh that he ahd fear of lossing it so he try to do many bad things. I think it is the same with her husband. Take him to good doctor and it would be alright.
One question that if all the person in his family is working from past as in many place still women are not allowed work that also may be cause. Is it? I don't know but what i said above may be the reason.
@luckygrey67 (765)
• Indonesia
10 Jan 12
Yeah, I'm jealous type person, maybe overprotecting, and I realize my girl not comfortable about it but I always worry to loosing her.
Sometimes, I'm laughing about myself, I won;t my girl like me too, jealous every time. ha ha ha...that was make me uncomfortable to close another girl.
@Triple0 (1904)
• Australia
10 Jan 12
Oh dear! Her husband is very insecure and doesn't trust his wife. In every relationship, there has to be a sense of trust, without it it's going to be dysfunctional relationship. He's a bit empowering and takes too much control of her life. Who wants to be in a relationships where you have no freedom. In a way, her husband is like her strict father. He sets her rules and tells her she's not allowed to meet with certain friends or go out somewhere. Why kind of relationship is that? I wonder if he sets himself rules, it would be very unfair if he's allowed to go out with other people.
I've got to admit and I would say that I get pretty jealous easily too. I'm more jealous of what others have and do, I haven't been in a relationship yet so I wouldn't know. I know that feeling jealous is not a very good feeling and I don't want to lash out on others. I prefer to keep my emotions under control and simply ignore it. But some people find it really hard to hide their jealousy and ignore it.
@fantabulus (4000)
• India
10 Jan 12
Hahaha I am not easily jelous or hardly jealous person I am always happy person. I know jealousy is not good and some time due to jealousy our relations may be end. So no chance of jealousy even if my husband talk with any women I also talk with him and make friend but not jealous because I know our relationship is long lasting relationship and she is only for sometime means in party or tour.
@AidaLily (1450)
• United States
10 Jan 12
The situation could possibly turn violent if she works too long, but I think personally she should talk to him and perhaps have a mediator to ask why her husband doesn't trust her. There should be trust in the relationship and if he doesn't work is he covering up his own guilt as something that he does while she is at work. I think she should suggest marriage counseling or something in a place where he can't scream at her for it without witnesses and figure out what is going on.
@3mangesti (28)
• Indonesia
10 Jan 12
Love or too much love is just the excuse to act insecure and over jealous. It's already obsession and even a sick obsession to posses the other person totally.
Especially the husband was successfully instilled fear to his wife.
Love is not kind of hurt, scary and painful experiences... Love is to trust and free each other.
and the husband just readily to assumed the role as the victim in this kind of relationships...
just leave and divorce him is not enough, because there's a chance he'll stalk and hurt her more.
@Woody7189 (247)
• United States
10 Jan 12
I think that everybody has a little bit of jealousy in them, but it sounds like her husband has some real issues with insecurity. These types of feelings can destroy a marriage and I think that she needs to have a serious talk with him. He has to want to change before anything can happen. If he is unwilling to seek help for his insecurity and jealousy, then she will have to decide if that is something that she can live with. I wish her luck.