Love / Arranged????Or Mix???

I know that I would marry person that I love. I don't think arrange marriages are good in 21st century. I'm in this position that my family really likes my future husband but if they didn't I would marry him anyway. This is my life and none will decide for me. Also I don't think family should interfere between couple, unless there is violence in the relationship.

I believe that a decision as important as the person who will be with you for the rest of your life, depends, primarily on the couple, of course, family is a factor that should be considered, but the love and commitment between the couple is the one and most important matter.

Parents' approval is important but what most important is that you and your boyfriend love each other to begin with. Knowing each other's character takes a long time, In two years' time I don't think you will know exactly how he is. Some people said that the truth about each other will reveal itself after years of togetherness. Arranged marriages may lead to the situation that you expect or that you try to avoid. In most cases, arranged marriages tend to fail to give you the best.

No Matter whatever marriage you go for, make sure that you know that person's nature completely most importantly the negatives in that person. If you are ready to accept the negatives in that person then only prepare to marry him/her. Also don't think that someone will come and help you if your marriage is in trouble. No one will come. Its your life and you have to make it right. In a country like India its always better to marry the person you love by getting parents blessings. Now a days parents also started thinking and are accepting love marriages with big heart so convincing parents might not be a big task. Anyway all the best to you and just keep one thing in mind before you love a person that is Love alone is not enough for leading a happy life :)

Through many cultures ways of love are different. I remember watching the movie Fiddler On The Roof. Tradition stated the matchmaker would do the matches. But the girls each thought of modern times for that time in history and made harsh decisions for their love of whom they loved plus the love of their family. During King Henry's time he gave permission to the court whom they could marry. And if he wanted one of the ladies of court he refused marriage for them. The United States, awe the good old days, we married for life. But then came the D word Divorce, and now you hear all the time if we dont like each other we will just get a divorce. The stability of family and home are so far lost to single parent homes with children today. My token was always loyalty to family and faith. But even that is broken at times when some cultures need money and food and consider a boy more important in life than their daughters and sell them. Memoirs of a Geisha movie showed us a look into one culture. In Africa, if a young man of one village wants to marry a girl from a different village he has to show proof he is a man, and he also has to bring either animals or grain or money. The father can determine how much the daughter is worth to give over to the young man. I watched this on a National Geographic show. There is so much to learn from cultures and the ways of each it is indeed a mystery to learn and admire and sometimes not agree with the ways of cultures. Such as the movie The Stoning of Sayarah. Because her husband wanted a younger girl to marry he convinced the town that she had committed adultry. That was very hard for me to see a man do to his wife. But I learn, and it makes me realize how easy Americans have it and I want to help these kinds of women. It does not matter race. No woman alive deserves to be stoned or killed. So it is still a mystery if true love really exsists. I know my parents were married in 1947 had me in 1952 I was an only child. My mother always had something to say bad about my father. He always worked, came home,did not drink, provided for both my mother and I. He was a very quiet man. I did not learn much from him but from his father my grandfather, I learned values of a man and woman's love. They never divorced it was against their age and society back then but they were not happy. So maybe having family choose your husband as long as you are both close in age to grow together in love and family, and join families together is not such a bad thing. I tend to like the idea myself but unfortunately I was not born to a culture of that integrity. I had to be one of the Divorce statisics when my husband left me 7 months pregnant with our second baby. Blessings on your discussion and happy mylotting.

If the Roman Catholics believed that CONSCIENCE is the voice of God, therefore, we must follow and do our decision regarding what our conscience dictates, and to think it plenty of times before making some decisions, just to be sure of.

Marriage is Sacred.. if you will marry someone it must be the person you really love.. not just arranged marriage, the downside of it, you don't know much about your partner, don didn't even know what he wants, dislikes, like and everything.. Maybe you need to settle to the one you love and most specially with the blessing of your family..

I think that loving someone is paramount. If you don't love someone a marriage is more of a business arrangement. I guess if that is what someone wants then that is fine. I think the perfect situatuon is one where you choose the person you love. You marry this person and you parents and family honor your decision.

Yes you are kind of on the right track. If you love someone then you can talk with their parents and get to know more about the family. Or if you parents arranged a match for you, you can spend some time interacting with the person and bond with him/her.

Marriage for me is for couples who are deeply in love and willing to be committed to one another. And even with great love for one another, most marriages do not last a lifetime. If a couple is deeply in love with one another and yet they cannot make their marriage work out, how much more if the reason for being together is because other people arranged it for them. However, it still depends on how people treat the situation. Some can make it work out. Fixed or arranged marriage is not for me.

This is the topic I gave in my class yesterday for engineering II year students. Of course they did not discuss properly --made a lot of noise. Arranged marriage --this system is there in our country only. In almost all the other countries boys and girls choose their life partner. In our context -- it is good to have arranged marriages with proper reference -- so that in case of problems parents may support. yesterday in Times of India "The problem with arranged marriages " has been discussed. I am not able to post the link because it has not come in archives of TOI.

I've had this discussion with my friends so many times. I like love marriage, to know and love a person completely before you get married to her. For some of my friends, they prefer arranged, as meeting a new person and falling in love with her would be a different experience altogether. So it depends from person to person.

love come arranged marriage is best in the long run. marrying the person you love is the sweetest thing that can happen in life...:)

Me too in same situation. Arrange or love.which is better? I also wanting to know the perfect answer.

Whatever runs in the family.The traditions which family have followed and from what culture they belong it all depends whether a person is going to have a love marriage or arranged.Ofcourse there are some may go against their parents will or something like that but that would be an extreme step to take.We do feel like it is wrong that we are bound by our parents decision on arranged marriage but the the truth is that our parents do know better.One can become blind in the starting wind of love but don't realize what will happen in future. So i will say if your parents approve of your decision and you have though abour it thoroughly then well and good go for it but if not then go for arrange marriage you won't regret it either.

I think you must have got a better and detailed understanding about the topic, even though I didn't read all of them. However, wish you all the best to get a perfect match for you when the time comes. All the best, Thank-s

I am still single and I am fine with any of them but it does not mean my parents can decide when I should get married and I will only do so when I am ready to do it.(^^) If I am in love with someone or my parents have someone for me but I am not ready to married him it is no use too. So wait till I am ready and willing to do so only then I don't mind if it's my or my parent's choice.(^^)

I will the one who will decide whom I am going to marry. My parents and relatives are there just to support me. They can't dictate whom to marry. I have my ownself with mature mind. I will marry a person whom I believe I love more than anything else.

That isn't an arranged marriage is you get the blessing of your family which I think is just silly when your in live and want to marriage that person. An arranged marriage is a marriage to a person you might not no nor want to be with and arrange marriage is normally something the parents set up and not there child choicing. I'm glad where u live arranged marriages aren't done. People choice who they want to be with regardles of what anyone else thinks. When your love it doesn't matter who does or doesn't like the person that you love a long as you love them and want them. Your not marrying that person family just that person.

I prefer to marry of love and not of interest. Some people prefer money and a good cosy life with someone they are not in love with, but i prefer to be in love with the man i will marry. I had some opportunities in my life to make mariages and relationships out of interest only but i simply could not do it. I think that is a matter of character and personality, some people can and want to do it and some other do not.