Fathers impact our lives more than mothers !
By ronnyb
@ronnyb (6113)
Jamaica
January 10, 2012 6:15pm CST
This was the profound revelation that confronted in one of my deep conversations with a friend one night .Just to give you some background ,I had confided in her the fact that I try to live my life the exact opposite way to how my father had lived his.Now my father was a womanizing drunk who never took care of even one of his thirteen children.I figured she shock of this revelation was enough to put her in an introspective state of mind and this was the end result .Dont get me wrong my friend is very thorough and logical person and would never have used one piece of evidence to come to a conclusion so she told me that she also looked at this within the context of her own life and some of her friends.
Her justification is that most persons will try to model their lives based on what they see exemplified by what they see in their homes, which is logical so far .Now she claims a girl will seek to either find a man who is like her father or diametrically opposed to her father .And in the same breath a boy will either try to be like his father or diametrically opposed .She claims it not usual that that you see a girl and definitely no boy will try to be like his mom . I will concede with the fact that no boy will be like his mom however I thought that most girl would try to be like their mom .
I think I have an idea about what she is speaking to but Id rather see how you view this statement !
2 people like this
13 responses
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
11 Jan 12
This is really interesting because it made me also reflect into my life and try to see the very deep reasons why I live my life this way.
In my case however, I am trying not to live the way my mom did. My mom was a great person but she had weaknesses that I do not want to have but as I turned out as a grown-up I am becoming like her in many ways. Is it because I am always thinking about it and ironically finally heading towards that direction?
Or am I blinded by my fears that I only see the things I don't want instead of seeing the good that has happened to me.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
13 Jan 12
It could be a choice somehow. You could choose to let it stagnate you or move you. Adapting the right attitude is the key.
@arjunm (439)
• India
11 Jan 12
As I always say, each individual is unique in his own way. A person's life, growing up, maturity, values, morals will differ significantly from another person.
For example, I didn't have a father growing up. So my father didn't even get a chance to impact my life.
For a person fortunate enough to have both parents alive while growing up, I am sure he or she will be impacted profoundly by both of them. He will inherit some good & bad things from his mother, and some good & bad things from his father. Then he will add to the mix a few characteristics of his own, and a few is assimilated from others around him.
There is no empirical evidence to say categorically that fathers impact our lives more than mothers do. In fact, there's none to suggest the other way round.
To each his own.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
11 Jan 12
I think all families are different, I believe eith mum or dad is the strong personality, and the strong personality of course will attract but I believe kids take a little from both and I do believe they take in what see more than what they are told...just my opinion.
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
11 Jan 12
As for my experienced, my mother had lots of caring and sacrifices that for me, there's more impacts it left than what my father did to my life.
It impacts more to me, the unconditional love my mother gave in and not by being strict of my father. He's sometimes harsh but still, for me, the love of my mother to us has a great impact. That's what I can say ronnyb.
Your friend can be different to some of others points of view.... and it's possible!
As a whole, being raised by our parents. Both had touched our lives in whatever impacts it brings!
@yaso4u (502)
• India
11 Jan 12
I agree with most of your points. As per me, In early stages, mother makes more impact than father because of the time spend by her towards the child. As the child grows fathers presence came into the picture, that child try to imitate what his/her father doing, day by day he becomes the role model.
After 18's, I think the influence of external world makes a generation gap between parents and their childrens, so impact factor for both father and mother towards their son/daughter get reduced.
@emdjay23 (1575)
• Philippines
11 Jan 12
I would go for 50/50 also.. both parents contributed on what their children would be in the next few years.. I didn't experience to have a real father, I only have step father but unfortunately he is also a womanizer.. but luckily my mom split up with him because of this.. so now I am left with my mom.. but the thing I realize due to the absence of father like image.. I cam to be one.. I became the father for my mom.. I came to be responsible.. To some people it may be bad but for others its just a good thing..
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
11 Jan 12
Hi Ronny,
I am a woman and I think that BOTH parents have an impact on their children and how they turn out as people. I don't think boys try to be like dad and girls like mom. It is the morals, ethics and values taught by the parents that matter. I don't believe you can look and a book and predict how a child will turn out with any given type of parents. Three kids can grow up in the same home and all turn out differently. Individual personality plays a huge role. The child is molded and shaped not only by the parents but by other family members and adults as well as society itself. Every experience and every person in a childs life will in some way big or small impact how that child is going to turn out. And again, it depends on how the child experiences these things emotionally. I have seen kids come from very wonderful homes, turn out badly and also kids that come from horrible homes turn out beautifully. In your case you may not have tried to be like your mom but I am guessing that she had a huge impact on how you view life and relationships just by how she conducted her own life???
@dodo19 (47317)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
13 Jan 12
I think that both mothers and fathers may equally impact our lives. In some cases, it may be one more than the other, but I still think that it is certainly both parents. They may impact us in different ways, but they may still impact our lives. It will still affect who we are.
@jdyrj777 (6530)
• United States
11 Jan 12
I think that most people look at it within the context of their own lives. My dad i hardly ever saw. After my parents divorced he remarried a female 10yrs younger than him and they had 2 kids. They lived in another state. My mother was a drunken manizer. We were raised my our grandparents. Mothers parents. My grandpa was the slient type. Just hardly ever said a word. My grandma was the stay at home grandma who mainly took care of us.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
15 Jan 12
Well, you know, my mother was my biggest role model while I was growing up and I always wanted to grow up to be like her, which is something that I think that I've been able to do quite well. But, my father was equally important in my life (he did pass away when I was fourteen years old, however). I did find that when I was dating, most of the men that I dated were very similar to my father and the man that I am married to is the most like my dad.
However, I don't think that I would ever go to the extent of saying that fathers have more impact in our lives than our mothers, I think that they both have an equally great impact in our lives.
@craziestqueenever (1819)
• Philippines
11 Jan 12
Precisely! It has been in the result of many studies. Our relationship with our father affects on how we choose a partner in life. If we have a healthy relationship with our father, we are able to have a healthy relationship with others.
@ashleymosq (44)
• United States
11 Jan 12
From my personal experience, I am a lot like my mom. I married a man that is a lot like my dad. My husband is the total opposite of his dad and I am the total opposite of his mom. So I think it not so much who impacts our lives more, it is more like what we chose to take from each of them. My husband is a lot like my dad in a lot of ways, except he does not drink at all. My does. I am a lot like my mom in a lot of ways except I make sure my husband is completely informed in everything that is going on. We learn so much from our parents growing up. We learn how we want to be, how we don't to be, what we want in a mate, and what we don't want. As for women choosing men that are more like their dads, that is not surprising. Most girls grow up being daddy's girls. So why not find someone who is like their dad? That is the personality type they are comfortable with and can trust.
It is true that boys won't grow up to be like their moms, they may however find a woman that is either a lot like or nothing like their mom. To go along with that, a girl will not grow up to be like her dad either.
This is really one of those things that can go both ways.
