My roommate wants to kick me out!!!! HELP!!!
By Cody Stewart
@CODYMAC (1356)
San Diego, California
January 11, 2012 8:51pm CST
I have this roommate that works and goes to school. The perfect roommate in that she is gone all day, and I know the place is mine if I need it. I am a christian and she is not. Last week we got into the "rent" argument and she accused me of "not wanting to pay rent".
About a month ago she invited me to be a roommate. I was incarserated for 10 years, and finding work and a place to live was nearly impossible. No one would rent to me, and I have to still work through a temp agency. I told her that it is hard to find a job even though I have busted my but trying to find work and jobs through this agency are few. I thought she understood.
A few days ago we got into a heated argument about rent and she threatened to throw me out. I said that I feel like a total loser anyway because I cant find a job, and asked her for suggestions. She told me that I was a grown man and should know what to do, and she was not my babysitter. I told her that in prison they dont really prepare you for this kind of thing. They throw you out and say good luck.
I am not looking for a "mommy", but for an ear. She wont give me the time of day. What do I do? I know that Applying on line is almost the only way employers hire now, but I need some serious suggestions. I really need to get something going soon, or I will be out on my ear. PLEASE HELP. I thank you for anything you all have to say.
3 people like this
18 responses
@Flashpointer (784)
• Philippines
12 Jan 12
Maybe she hates you it is because you sometimes talk to her that seems you are going to give up finding a job. All she wants you to that never give up on finding a job. She does not want to hear from you talking like a loser. Being different in religion is not the issue, and she also needs you to at least contribute for paying the rent since you are staying with her. Let's just say you will find a part-time job from the supermarket or in stores or in the coffee shops, though I might say it is not that big you can get at least you have money to earn. Then working online part-time in your free days to earn extra income at the same time is just like you are working full-time regular and it is also ideal way to work. Combining actual job and online job is a way to start your own dream to earn big.
@Flashpointer (784)
• Philippines
12 Jan 12
Well, don't mind her if she hates you or not. If you want to be successful in many ways in your life, don't mind negative people. You can not live happy if you mind what she talk or act negatively towards you. Keep in mind, she is one of your obstacles in your success. I was lived before with negative people until long time of living I was helped by one friend who teach me in his principle: think positive even if it is impossible for me to try. Always think positive all the time. The way, I see your situation, you give up easily on finding a job. That is not the way of a true christian. Show her what you can do, go out there find a job and if you can't grab a job don't blame God but thank God. Thanking God always is one of strong way to hear your true intention and maybe He will help you. If you find a way to find a good job, He will help you.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Jan 12
I have never blamed (GOD) for not having a job, and I am not giving up. I am not sure what in my comment made you think I am giving up, but that is not it at all. I have always thanked YAHVAH (GOD) for trials, (not that I like them) because I grow. Maybe you think that I am being negative because it seems to be a pitty party, but in reality I am looking for suggestions. Thank you for your comments thus far. Hope that you have a great day, and I will keep these things in mind. May YAHVAH bless you my mylot friend. :) :)
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Jan 12
Hello Flashpointer. Nice. It is a problem actually about our religion, because I read the bible in my spare time, and when she is not here. When she gets back sometimes it surprises me and the bible is out with my study materials. She has been upset about not wanting to see it, and I tell her that it is my life, and it gets bad. Anyway... She hates that I am on mylot telling me that I waste time not making real money. I get equelly upset with her about dictating my life. We are roommates, and nothing more. I actually have about 3 hours per day I am on line and that whole time, it is with mylot. I even look up jobs through the web here. Thank you for your comment. It was helpful to see your point of view. :)
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
12 Jan 12
I'm sorry for your situation. But right now, you really need to get a job, even if you have to take menial jobs for the time being.
I am guessing that your record in prison is also a stumbling block. Perhaps you still have friends you can still keep in touch with? Next of kin who can help you land in a job?
It doesn't matter how low paying it is, as long as you could contribute to the rent.
@peavey (16936)
• United States
12 Jan 12
Cody, I'm really sorry to see you in this situation. I know that it's hard to get a job with a record and it's also very hard to rent a place to live. You know what is the best thing to do, don't you? God does answer prayer. I will be praying for you to find a job where your past won't matter and that you can either stay where you are or find a place of your own where they will accept you as you are now.
You're not alone; God is with you. If you want someone to talk to, pm me. I'm usually around here at least once a day.
@peavey (16936)
• United States
12 Jan 12
Please keep us posted, Cody. Even if you have to go to a shelter temporarily, use the library computer or something. I will be praying for you until I know you are safely sheltered and with a job or a way to make money.
God will not fail you. He hasn't brought you this far for nothing. Hold tight to Him.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Jan 12
Thank you so much peavey. It means so much to me that you are praying. Yes it it hard, and yes, I did put this upon myself by going to prison, so it really was my fault. In the past 6 days I have been looking for other places, but as some of the guys said, it might have to be a homeless shelter for a short period of time. I didn't want it to get to that, but...YAHVAH is going to help me. I know that he will. You have been great. Thank you and all others for your support. May YAHVAH bless you. :) :) My lot really is a good place to meet good people. Thank you peavey.
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
12 Jan 12
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I can't believe your roommate doesn't know how hard it can be for someone in your position to find work.
What kind of places have you applied to so far? Just apply everywhere and anywhere that is around your current apartment. And be completely honest on your applications. Hopefully you'll find that someone who is willing to meet you, and once they do you can show them that you are a good guy.
As to the rent problem, just remind her that you will pay her rent as soon as you get a job. And until then, offer to do things around the house. Do the cleaning, cook for her, be the handyman, run errands for her...do whatever you can to help out and earnyour keep that way.
Good luck!
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
13 Jan 12
Any job is better than nothing I think! And holding signs for business is a pretty easy job (even if it's a little boring). But hey, after you save up a little money you can get yourself a little music gizmo to make it more enjoyable! I hope it's not too hot where you are! I see the guys holding signs here during the summer and I feel bad for them!
Good luck!!
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Jan 12
Hello LilyoftheThorns. I have been to every fast food place here in town, even using the MAX (train) to go to downtown Portland for jobs. I may have this job lead holding signs, and it is for only 3 days per week. Better than nothing. :) I do help around the apt. and she thanks me , but I still get the look. Thank you for you help. You all have been better than the Work Sourse here. She does need things fixed, and that is a great idea. Thank you. :) :)
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
13 Jan 12
Ya know, it's hard enough for people who were NOT incarcerated to get jobs, let alone one who was. The economy is bad right now and you might want to remind her of that!
I lost my job a couple of years ago and trust me, I applied everywhere, it didn't matter to me. I have no criminal background and STILL did not get a job. Luckily for me, I was older and decided to apply for Social Security....alot earlier than I wanted but I had no choice.
Maybe you can do something for her to repay her for the hospitality, and then again, maybe you do already. I'm talking about doing her laundry, cooking, keeping the house clean, etc. must to pay for your rent.
There has to be someplace by you that will help you out. How about cleaning? Apartments need people to clean "vacant" apartments, painting, repairs, janitorial, etc. Did you learn any type of trade in prison? Try other temp agencies also, not just one. Don't even bother with the fast food places...that's where everyone goes when they're out of work so your chances are slim there. People think that this is the easy way out and you can always get a job there...not no more. It's because anyone who's out of work has applied there.
Keep in mind ANY talent you have in particular areas. You can always tell them you'll work for minimum wage just to get in and have a chance at life. I wish you luck, and keep your nose clean! 
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
13 Jan 12
So true, Kashmeresmycat, so true. Only Labor Ready has you wait in their waiting room until 9:00 a.m. All others call you when something comes up. I wait for their call while I am out at Labor Ready waiting for work. The trade I learned was landscaping. I have 4 years exp. Yes, I have been out applying at all I can reach. Been there, done that sort of thing. But It is nice to know that an opportunity has presented itself where I may have a job for 3 days per week. That would be 150 dollars. Times 4 is enough to pay rent and even have some left over. I got the info today. I had been offline for some time and am now telling people. Thank you for your comment. Have a great day. :) :)
@bluerhapsody (161)
•
13 Jan 12
Hello CODYMAC.
hmm, how about moving back to your family?
Anyway Good Luck! I hope you will pull through this very tough situation.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
16 Jan 12
Thank you bluerhapsody. I an greatful for all of your responses. They mean alot. I am not able to move in with family seeing that they are just as bad off as me, financially. But that is a great suggestion. Thank you. Have a great day. :) :)
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
12 Jan 12
Perhaps you could look up a "food pantry" in the meantime, if you are able to bring in some groceries perhaps she will feel better about things as it will likely save her some money. She may be frustrated also. I know it is very hard for a person to afford housing alone. I know because both our kids have lived with us up until age 30! My daughter with her two daughters still lives here, she's 29 so I'm hoping by age 30 something comes along for her..
- I will keep you in my prayers Codymac, for her understanding and for a job.. perhaps it may have to be a couple of part time jpobs for a short while..
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Jan 12
Hello. Nice to see your post. I have done that for me, and now that you state this, it makes more sense. I know that she does need help with that,(someone in an earlier post I think suggested it too, but It didn't register until now) and I will do this. She goes to school, works, and volunteers. (WOW) I do have alot of respect for her, and so that is why I don't think she is totally out of line. Awsome flowerchilde. Thank you for your suggestion. :) :)
@TrvlArrngr (4045)
• United States
12 Jan 12
Try Goodwill Industries - they are known for helping people get back on their feet. I wish you the best of luck!
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Jan 12
Thank you TrvlArrngr. That is exactly what I did today... and it only took a few minutes. I am very greatful for all of the comments on this post. It makes it worth coming here. I have been wondering how I would keep my head up, and you all just keep giving me good reasons. THANK YOU!!! :) :)
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Jan 12
Hello, and thatnk you. I am a landscaper by trade. I have lived in Idaho for most of my 36 years, but recently moved here to Oregon for work. I was a potatoe worked from 16 to 21. Landscaping is not really in season, but you are right. That made me think of Voc Rehab. They help people learn job skills. Thank you for that. I forgot about them. Ha. I'll do that first thing tomorrow. Awsome. Have a great day. :)
@sjvg1976 (41289)
• Delhi, India
12 Jan 12
Hello CODYMAC,
Its very tough situation you are in.
I would just recommend you to request your room mate again and ask her to keep you there for at least some days.Or take help from your friend/relatives/parents to borrow some money till you get a job.Try hard to get a job and accept whatever job you get now and then change afterwards if you don't find it suitable for you.
I would just recommend you to request your room mate again and ask her to keep you there for at least some days.Or take help from your friend/relatives/parents to borrow some money till you get a job.Try hard to get a job and accept whatever job you get now and then change afterwards if you don't find it suitable for you.@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
13 Jan 12
Thank you for your help. It has been tough but I think I have a job working 3 days per week. I found out today, and that will be a great help. You have a great day!!! :) :)
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
12 Jan 12
I dont know if you have tried already but almost anyone can work in construction. They dont check anything at all really.
You can go to a gas station early in the mornings and ask people if they need help because a lot of crews stop there in the mornings before work.
I wish you the best of luck! I hope you dont get kicked out because I know how that feels.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Jan 12
Yes, I have tried, and it is slow this time of year here in Oregon. Thank you for your response, I am really greatful. I have also gone to Portland and Hillsboro to do this very thing, and Labor Ready is all I got. Sad, and sucks , but it is better that nothing. :) :) :) Have a great day.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
12 Jan 12
Find a job, do your best and SHOW you are willing to work. Just sitting there and hoping for an ear is not the way. Neither is wasting time behind the computer.
I agree with her.. if you are grown up you should know what to do. It doesn't matter if anyone told you how or what or prepared you. Many people were never prepared. You have eyes and can see how others do it, you watch tv so you are not blind if it comes to that.
These are hard times for everyone and paying rent is normal.
She already helped you out and this is way more as other people would do. I think it's pay back time now and also do believe that if you start running and organizing your own life this is also good for your self esteem.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
13 Jan 12
Thank you for that. It is true that sitting behind a computer does no help matters. Some jobs are on line apply only, and others are not. I have three hours (or so) between sitting at Labor Ready (from 5:30 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. waiting for them to call my name to go out on a job).
Then my hour on the computer here at the apartment to do job searches (using mylots web browser) and filling out online aps. Then, I leave for the library for two and a half hours on their computers going to mylot and using the browser. Our library opens mon-fri at 10:00 a.m. we are only allowed 2 hours on line there. After all this, it is now 12:30 p.m.
Since I have no money or family support, I walk in a different direction every day looking for any job that will allow me to apply there. This part takes me until about 4:30 to 5 p.m. mon-fri. On sunday I do not look for work (on foot), since I am at church with the congregation finding job leads. That starts at 9:00 a.m. and ends at 1:00. I go to the library and hope to find a computer (no one is working so it seems everyone wants internet time.) Library is only open 4 hours on sunday.
Saturdays are where I find the most help when it comes to job leads. I go to a congregation where they allow me to be on line all day. It is great. Saturday I am on mylot for at least 6 to 7 hours. looking for work and getting into discussions.
By the way, the computer in the apartment, is hers. She uses it mostly for school, and whatever else she does. That is my week. I think that it is pretty full dont you think? I forgot to mention that I go to Work Source which is a government ran job search place after the library internet time. Right now I am using her computer because she is at class. I wanted you to see my day.
I am greatful that you posted what you did. It makes me think that you have the best response. If it weren't for people like you, nothing would get done. BRAVO!!! WakeUpKitty, You are awsome!!! Thanks. :) :)
@zaahro (748)
• Indonesia
12 Jan 12
awwh I am so sorry to hear that CODYMAC.
Listen to me, don't be sad with what she had said. Think as it was a motivation to try harder, for a better future. Everyone has the expertise, find it. Don't give up and keep trying. Start with small thing, try to find a facncy in stores or other public service. Good luck dear friend and happy mylotting :)
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Jan 12
I value everyones response, and I want to thatnk you for your support. It has been very rewarding to see what advice people will give. I have taken it all into account. There are even things that I didn't think of that I will do. Have a great day, and happy mylotting. :)
@jacoalberts (11)
• South Africa
12 Jan 12
I can't take your problem away, but as you say, you are a Christian. Trust God as your source, and find your identity in Him.
That doesn't mean you don't have to do anything and things will fall in your lap. Take authority over the situation. Pray for guidance. Use the 8 working hours per day and make it your job to find a job. If you take action, God will honor that and get you in touch with the right people at the right place at the right time. Trust Him. But ACTION and FAITH are two most important principles. You cannot be guided when you are stationary.
See if you can get hold of the book - WINNING IN TROUBLED TIMES - by Dr. Creflo Dollar. I am sure you will find it on the internet.
You will be in my prayers. Let us know when you find that job.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Jan 12
You are so right. Sitting around hoping something will show up is not the answer. It is like you said, He will help me and I think that He has. I posted to another user that I might have a 3 day per week job holding signs for a company. AWSOME. But might. I will know tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers, and make sure you pray for my mother as well who is not doing very well. She had a stroke one year ago, and things are getting worse for her. That makes me think that I could help her. Thank you all!!! I am indebted to you. May YAHVAH bless you in all you do. I will look up the book. :) :) :)
@davido (1623)
• Canada
12 Jan 12
Well you need to really go all out and get a job anyhow...it may not be the one you want but you need to get something and contribute to the house rent. I was in your cituation few months ago on the day I was to be kicked out I got a job and a place of mine and I am realy greatful to God for that. Now she's almost all over the places wanting me back!
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Jan 12
Thanks, davido. I hope that happens with me. Thank you for your response. Have a great day.
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
12 Jan 12
In our area (Cincinnati) many of the churches have support groups to help people learn how to find a job. Sounds like that might help.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Jan 12
Exactly. Some of the churches here have been helping with things like food, and clothes. I love to volunteer so I go quite a lot. Thank you for your comment. :) May YAHVAH bless you.
@franne32 (694)
• Philippines
12 Jan 12
I think you should work part time in stores or establishments that really want to hire on the spot like fast food chains or grocery stores just to at least have money to cover rent expenses and food while waiting for other jobs that you applied for. If you can do a writing job, you can submit your articles online and earn extra. I do hope you'll get a job soon so that she wouldn't throw you out. I understand your part and her part. For her, she wants reassurance that you'll pay her but of course she could've said it with respect. Don't give up on finding a job, there will be one or more out there that you'll eventually get hired for.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Jan 12
You are correct. I REALLY do understand her side and am trying to stay positive. I may aactually have a part time job holding signs for a mattress company. Things may be looking up. It was about 1/2 hour after I posted. Thank you for your support. It is nice to see positive feedback. THANK YOU.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
12 Jan 12
Sorry for such difficulty you are in currently. I know how hard it is being out of job and no one to support you but yourself. I think it would be better if you would continue to go out and find any job. Try not to be choosy with the work. It might help you at least to get by for some time until you can find a really good paying one.
@CODYMAC (1356)
• San Diego, California
12 Jan 12
You are right, enelym001. I have not been choosy. I tried to get a job shoveling horse manure but the guy was worried I would take off with one of his horses. I told him that I needed a job, not more prison time. I have been out all day from 5:30 a.m. Labor Ready, to 6 pm. Many jobs are applied for on line. It is so impersonal anymore. Thank you for your comment. :)
