Can We REALLY Blame Everything On Divorce Still?
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
United States
January 12, 2012 8:25pm CST
its 2012 and i am so sick of people/kids blaming all the bad things and bad behavior on their parents divorcing. if it was back in the day when it wasnt common ok i could see that but now its so common and people are doing better going through them that i think kids are using them as a crutch. when in doubt blame my parents divorce etc.
im not from a divorced family BUT im sick of all the talk shows etc on tv when they have wild kids them using divorce as why they are messed up. i could understand it being a hard time in their life but hardly a reason for them to start drugs, run away from home, steal, kill and become a hooker or something and when they blame the divorce everyone is like "ohhhhh that explains it!" wtf. i know people that are screwed up from non divorced and divorced parents and vice versa. now if there was family abuse or neglect ok but most of these kids their parents seem to have had a good divorce (as in they did it as nicely as possible) and the same goes for single parent families people using as an excuse.
i think if the kid wants to go down the wrong path it doesnt matter what their family life is like they will. i understand like the runaways due to abuse and kids that are kind of forced into a bad life/scene but thats from other things on top of divorce or single parent family etc.
maybe im just naive and i DO know how parents can mess you up but i wouldnt use it for an excuse to screw up my life and not take responsibility for it. i think that things that happen in life can make it easier for some people to go down the wrong path but its kind of insulting to the kids of these families/situations that do do ok
1 person likes this
5 responses
@meholl (510)
• United States
13 Jan 12
I come from a divorced family, and consider myself to be quite normal, as well as the rest of my siblings.
The divorce did hit my youngest brother pretty hard, but he was only 7 or 8. He did start acting up in his teen years while living with my mother, and this continued into his early 20s. Was divorce the cause of this behavior? NO. It wasn't bad parenting skills either. This is just a kid who made bad choices, and once paying the legal consequences, realized it just wasn't worth it.
Divorce may be to blame for issues immediately following the announcement and last for a while, while the children adjust and realize that both parents still love them.
If the non-custodial parent pulls away from the children, that may result in issues as well. But I think all these issues can be resolved with time, love and understanding
2 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
13 Jan 12
that makes sense on the it may affect them for a short while. these people seem to be like 16 and they are blaming divorce when they were 3 or something
@joesa_lang (30)
•
13 Jan 12
yeah! partly yes and partly no.. those parents who divorced will really have bad things the their children but children have their choices hoe to handle the situation..
1 person likes this
@moneywinner (1864)
• Brazil
14 Jan 12
When the divorce happens when the sons are just children, I don't see how they can choice how to handle the situation. Imagine, as happens in many cases, when the kid is with her mom all she listen is how everything that happened was her dad's fault and when she is with her father, is how bad person her mom is. And she's just a kid, how she can make a rational decision in these type of situation and unfortunately this is very common to happen.
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
1 Feb 12
although typical i think that it has gotten somewhat better on how people are having divorces now. i have known quite a few where the parents actually did well in not bashing each other unlike where it seems like it was always a bash fest
@moneywinner (1864)
• Brazil
14 Jan 12
I don't totally disagree with you, but I don't agree either. The couple that get divorced, probably, had a lot of problems when they still were a couple and their kids had to watch to all their fights until they decided to put a end in the marriage. Many times, the divorce is caused by the betrayal of some of the parents (most of the time, the dad) and that can cause a lot of problems on a child/teenager/adult that used to see her dad as a hero. I have friends that changed all their lives for this reason, one of them always dreamed to be a doctor because his dad was one and when he was 16, he find out a betrayal of his dad that caused the divorce of their parents and he never wanted to hear about medicine anymore. Now, he only surfs and do an alternative course, of course he won't have the success career that he probably would have.
I totally understand why this happens, imagine the person you most admire in the whole world betray you and your mom/dad. So, you are going to think that all the told you during your life is also a lie and that you shouldn't trust on anything that he said, because if he was capable of betraying you, you don't have reason to believe in him anymore. Specially the kids and teenagers can be lost when this happen and the world is full of bad influences to help them in this difficult moment.
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
1 Feb 12
this can happen in a household that doesnt divorce either. i know a lot of people that they just put up with each other and their kids see them fight, hate and cheat on each other and so i would think that if one parent did do something that shattered their image in their childs eyes it wouldnt matter divorced or married and if they stayed that way.
@Sebastion1234 (293)
•
14 Jan 12
As I came from a divorced family pls stop this the only people will suffer is you children
