Do you get haunted by past decisions?

Thanks megamatt! Thanks for painting a picture of what could have been. That it could have been worse if that decision at that time was not made. Maybe there is a lesson to be learned here. It's a bit painful and problematic, but it could have been worse. Who knows?! Thanks.

Thanks borgborg! I like your attitude of making it as a lesson in the past that helps you focus in your future. Maybe someday I could do that too!

Hi lilaclady. I think you've just added something I forgot to mention in this discussion. That the regrets are the one's that makes it haunting. A lot of 'if only's'... Thanks.

Thanks GreenMoo. It has been relatively busy at work these past few days, and (the regular) busy at home. That helped a bit in not focusing on that past mistake. Maybe this is the way to train my brain. Just get drowned with work. So that I may feel more productive.

I think we all need something like what you have. A strong suit to keep us centered. Unfortunately, not all of us have this. I think this is why many fall in depression. Thanks for the input trm820!

Yeah! I wish I could also push a DELETE button on those things. Bad enough that we made bad decisions on those days/moments, sometimes we're forced to relive it because of the consequences we currently face. Doh! Thanks.

I'm here whenever you need me. Send a PM or an email.

Sorry it took a while for me to get back to your response/offer here sarah. As you may already know, I like to vent. And sometimes, through responses of strangers I sort myself out. Or find meaning in a few words that help me go through whatever situation I find myself. I know I haven't reached out to you yet, but I'm glad that I know that you're just there. Thanks.

I go with telmesh here Hatley, don't beat yourself up so much about this. Even though I could use the same advice. There are a few things in my life too, where the outcome could have been different if I just spoke up. Thanks.

Hey Hatley don't keep beating yourself up about a decision not to speak it's worse still when you speak and the results are bad. The decisions were your sons to make and who says he would be in a better position now, it's bad for everyone that needs employment now,whether there in or out of a job.

I think if it's still fresh, like it just happened a few years ago, I would also hate dwelling on it, as I'm sure it would arrest my mind and spirit. I wouldn't be able to move. But like suggestions of many here, I (we) just got to go on. Thanks Mopeding SCG!

Please do not apologise as we are Mylot friends. Sometimes it is easier to tell your friends at Mylot about worries or problems in our lives than those who are close to us. maybe it is because we are detached from the situation and so see the problem from a different perspective. Lastly - a;ways remember that when we speak of a problem then we are on the way to dealing with it. Speaking and recognising it are the first steps. The worse thing is when a person has a problem and does not verbalise it. That causes too much stress. So you are dealing with it Bounce. Yes, we are so happy that he won. The next step id the local government elections and this will determine the Mayor and the councillors who form the parish council. So there will be another election in about 6 weeks or so and we campaign again as we cannot allow the opposition to control the money and policies of the Parish Council.This would hinder his programmes as they would have the money. But it was wonderful to see him in Parliament taking the oath. My spine tingled and tears came to my eyes.

Nice to be friends with such powerful people!

Oh sorry cynthiann. Sorry for making you . I hope that it take away much out of you. I know that you're still in a celebratory mood after your great win. And yes, I'm sure the circumstances back then had a lot to do why I made that decision. Thanks.

Sounds good to me. Wish we didn't have these haunting feelings. I never thought of them that way before, but you hit the nail on the head with calling it "haunting feelings". That is exactly what it is. If you ever get this invented with the delete and rewind buttons let me know.

I made a reference of a DELETE button in my comment to the response above, I think you've pointed out one more fact. That before the delete button, there should be a REWIND button first. Then we all wouldn't have any of this haunting. Thanks.

Hello telmesh. Thanks for the advise. I know that we should let go of things, specially of the bad decisions that we've made. But some choices are just a bit difficult than others. Thanks.

Yes, well aware but even when the mistake keeps on coming back into mind we have the ability to put a stop part way through the thought and think of something else or meditate. Meditation is very difficult but the more you practice the easier it gets and it does give the mind a rest as you always think of the same word and eventually it blanks out every thing else. Your mind will drift that's natural but you actively keep pulling back to the same word. I know it seems cranky but for people in a bad place it is really good.

Hi timetravel. I like hearing about people finaly deciding about their own perspectives. I like that you choose to look ahead and leave the past behind. I like it because it gives hope to people like me who are still haunted by the past. I hope I get there too. Thanks. Don't backslide goat or starfruit!

It's hard not to backslide occasionally. Something will happen that can quickly draw us right back - it's important to just push past it and focus on today. Not easy to do always, but if you try to stay focused on what you are doing in the here and now, it can help.;

thank you, binggaling. It is a decision. We can choose to wallow in past decisions or leave them behind and start fresh, from today.

Hi enelym001. It's been a few days since I posted this discussion (sorry it took time to get back to your response), I hope that by this time you've moved on. That you're back right on track again. Thanks.

Hi bounce that's okay. About moving on, well I am trying... and I have a plan to get myself pre-occupied with a lot of things. So hope to really be back on track again. Hope you feel better too, whatever it is that's haunting you.

I actually was not sitting. I remember being in a parking lot coming out of the car, with my arm draped on the door. I wish I was sitting, then maybe I could have come up with a better decision. I guess that's why people ask 'are you sitting down?' when someone tells them a bit of shocking news.

Hello QeeGood. I wish those bad decisions I've made also became 'final past'. So that I don't have to relive it over and over again. Thanks for the response.

Once you decide, and make up your mind that you can leave it, then it's all good. The problem is coming up with that decision, as it isn't always easy. Good that you've already learned to let go. Thanks.

Hi Defluxe. Thank you for your perspective. That maybe the reason why I choose to make those decisions in the past was because they 'just needed to happen'. To get me to a better place. And thanks for dropping by.

Hello black0jack! I think if we could all go back in time, life would really be better. Even mine would be. Thanks.

You've brought up a good point Bamboee! Even though people were advising us against a particular move or decision back then, we really couldn't do anything about it, as we were blinded by our determination. I could also my determination back then. Thanks.