First Impression Forever ?

thanks! I love your comment also. I completely agree with that. People do change over time as well, just like you said. Also I think a lot of it is perspective, sometimes you can see the way that somebody views you and you know that its incorrect. I am shy and at times insecure about myself, since childhood, so people sometimes get the wrong idea about me because I'm too shy to express myself in the way that I mean to. I wish everybody could see me how I am and I try to come across the way I am the best I can but so many people have guards up and are difficult to get to. You'll definitely find a lot of teenagers, and people in middle school and such, always hold on to that first impression.

Well I know many times my husband views me the wrong way, I think he just does not want to look inside of me. Its not that I had a bad incident with him, he judged me with the friends I had. So he thinks I might be just like that, thats wrong right? And I failed to see that he had that perspective inside of him which came after marriage. So now anything happens he brings that topic up and puts a tag on me. Its like he is firing bullets, I know he is wrong. How am I going to prove him!!.. I am just so tired of it that I have given up even fighting on that topic.. I hope and pray that everyone see's you just the way you are Lucy, just by your writing I can make out your a really nice person :) and I am sure the good people can see that. The bad one's can never see that!! Best of luck! and hopefully my husband can have the same view as u one day!

aww thanks very much :) that means a lot to me. I would sit down with your husband and explain to him how you feel. Communication is a big key, and if you feel comfortable with someone then usually its easy to express yourself the way you mean to. I hope he understands where your coming from and will start seeing you and other people with a more open mind.

yup ur so right, its very difficult to handle such people.. Even my husband has the same issue, once my mom stood up for me and spoke the right thing.. since then he has tagged her of being judgmental!! No matter how good she is to him, how much she loves him.. he wont change his attitude towards her, because of that ONE DAY!

Exactly same with my hubby haha

so i am not sailing the boat all by myself :)

Exactly you can't judge a book by it's cover so quickly because you never know exactly who that person is. I think if people took some time to not judge everyone they would find that some people are just plain fun and cool.

Yes, I am glad you give second chances. Like I even said to the other mylotter, he too gives second chances which is good. Atleast you just dont make the final call. Like you talked about your personality - people who know you wont say anything about you not opening up or being shy.. the people who dont know you might get offended thinking why is he being mean but they should not get offended because they dont KNOW YOU! that is the whole point!! I hate when that happens, I have faced it many times myself.. why are u labeling me introvert when you dont even know that I love to socialize.. Ya only with people whom I know and I am comfortable with.. So yes, second chances are definitely good :)

Yup, most of the people are fun and cool. people just make things so complicated that even the fun and cool people become crazy and nuts. Cheers.

Ya, I am very much just like you. I dont remember the first meetings, and I dont judge them right away with that they do. I make sure I know them better, anyways they say that life is too short to make judgments about people.. There is alot more to them than what we think.. Unless we come across really a nut case who blows up our neighbours house !! Then we know where the problem is :) Reading is good, I think my mother is like that.. She reads them, rather than judging them.. which is good and healthy !!

Well, with nut cases, it's a different story. And I'd definitely remember a blown up house! I read . . . I just don't read out loud - ha ha!

hahaha !! I am glad u dont read out loud :p !! who can ever forget nut cases?!

Yes, I also don't tag people without knowing something about he/she. But when they don't give me any chances I also won't give them any chances. It is simple as that :)

That is a good, if they dont give chances, why should u! Unfortunately I dont have that attitude that is why my husband ends up taking so much advantage of my sweet side.. he keeps tagging and when its his turn I dont say anything! :(

Well I have one thing that I have learned from my dad. That dont believe unless you have seen it, heart it and felt it by yourself.. Even if you have, make sure you find out first what was the situation then make a call about it.. so I wont say its good to tag people when you hear about them.. because maybe they are not like that? Atleast u give chances.. by husband doesnt even do that!

Yup, I definitely well :) Cheers!

Smurf thanks your time to give your response :) your right I have also gone through this alot in life and for some reason I still dont learn from it.. I guess thats who I am.. I guess that is why I even get fooled so often because when they person is nice and sweet to me, I think they are like that and bang they end up doing some really bad thing.. and in the end i am the one getting hurt. I think I shud make my view little stronger on this.. :) Thanks Smurf !! cheers

Let us all change for the better. It will actually help us a lot. ^^

Absinto a very valid point indeed, that when we meet someone for the first time there are many things they dont show or convey or are keeping away because ofcourse its the first meeting after all. So how can we just end up labeling them without even knowing them further. I know one thing that no matter how much u know a person there always is something more to them :).. So yes, we cant judge in the first impression, there has to be alot more..

:) Thats great Simplyd. You have spoken honestly about yourself, that the first impression does stay with u. But u do know that there is more to the person, which is a good attitude. keep it up! Cheers thanks for ur response!

Yes true, I am glad you dont do that.. Nobody should do that..its not good to tag people. Everyone is different, everyone has thousand things they dont show to people. Does not mean they are bad.. U just have to get to know them better. Thanks for ur response :)

You are right, real personality shows in circle of family and friends and partner. Sometimes there are individuals who are very reserved, and their inner person is difficult to find out and know because they dont like to talk much and reveal much about themselves even in their own family and friends. I believe that we should give time, much time in knowing a person :)

Triple0 thanks for the really nice comment. You have raised a very important point here and that is people just find one habit to shape the whole person about it. Like about your friend partying but being a nice person. Well its her wish what she does, atleast she is not harming or hurting anybody - so what is the big deal? I dont understand people seriously, they love to do this, many of them! If they hear that a girl has got rape they wont pity her or something, they will go like maybe she wore provocative clothes, or she was luring the guy, or a in a bar.. Like seriously? In my country side its like this, they will just jump to judgments without even knowing the person! There could be a 10000 possibility, if you cant feel bad for the girl then just dont talk at all!! I guess people who do this are really out of life, they dont have better mature topics to discuss than talk bad about other people and pass judgments on what they hear! And I think media also plays a very good role in this. Media says all kinds of crap stuff and people believe it and that is why we end having so many people who are racits, and then we have wars! In my religious book - Quran, God has given a message saying that if you find one fault in a person, look at the other 100 goodness in them and treat them for that :) I think that says' it all!

That's good to hear from you to bjc !! Its just that this topic arose because I have been very tired of my husband's attitude of labeling people even me at times though he knows me still without having to even go through the incident he passes his judgment!! I mean that is not right.. i wish he would listen, and give a second chance to know the scenario.. but it is what it is for him - there is nothing else to it.. Its not good because then he does give me a chance to show my true self.. i try to hide it away because of his judgments.. I am sure others feel the same too!! Thanks for the response!

Very well said Arjun, if one is honest and true they dont need to disguise themselves.. The one's who do it are one's who have something to hide and feel ashamed about :) Thanks for your response God bless U

your right my friend, that think before we judge someone because we can be judged as well :) I guess it depends from person to person !! but I hope people start giving second chances and just not rely with the first impression made! Cheers!!

Megamatt hat is really well written and explained :) you are right we should give people the benefit of the doubt at times, yes in our heads sometimes that incident lingers that why did that happen, is there any deeper connection to it.. Sometimes its just nothing, sometimes it really is something but we tend to ignore it.. It is important to be cautious but not so much that you end up isolating yourself.Everyone has faults, and so does the person who love's to tag people with the first impression.. I am glad that your a 50-50! I think that approach is good to be safe and at the same time not be mean!

Well your right, that there is an instant instinct. Most of the times when my husband has tag certain people they did turn out to be exactly what he said. But many times also when he did tag people they turned out to be completely someone else. I mean the saying is right also that you should never judge a book by its cover. I know sometimes people end up doing mistakes, that does not imply that they will repeat it again. Once when a friend of mine was seen with a strange man in the night, when me and my husband were coming from a movie. My husband assumed that my friend was picking up random men at night for the wrong things.. When it turned out that man was my friend's uncle whom she picked up from the airport. I mean seriously?.. he did not let me speak to her until I got him a proof..