DO you Call this Love? Or Just Plain Stupid?

For whatsoever reason, I don't think it is right for your girl to engage into any third party relationship. If she wants to help you pay your debt then she must work instead of taking advantage of others. She is just adding another sin into her unfaithfulness. Did she know how to respect you at all? He should consider your feelings. Granted for the sake of argument that she is just using this man for monetary consideration. Did she ever realize what kind of reputation she is building for herself? Did she ever realize how she's been damaging not just hers but your reputation as well.Did she ever consider how you will get hurt? Well if I were you, I'd talk to her heart to heart. She should stop this kind of relationship by all means. Otherwise, better just call it quits.

The only thing that I can say about this is lying or keeping things from someone (even though to me lying and keeping things are pretty much the exact same thing) is something I won't tolerate anymore. Whether it's a friend, relationship, marriage or what have you ... if someone can lie to you or deliberately keep things from you things are only going to get worse. Because then the question of "what else hasn't he/she told me about?" start to go through your head. PLUS not to mention with each mistake that has been made the less you trust and/or forgive that person over time until eventually you have no trust and/or forgiveness left. Just my thoughts anyhow.

Ouch...this is a tough one. She has lied to you so how do you know for sure that she isn't lying to try to get out of the lie? The very fact that she is willing to take advantage of a guy to financially gain (if that is the truth) says a lot about her personality. When someone is given to lying and deciet like that, how are you to know what is the truth and what is just another lie? Personally, I couldn't be with someone who could lie about something that important...that isn't a little white lie...that is the kind of lie that breaks trust..really breaks it. We all have our different levels of tolerance though and only you can decide what to do in this situation. You know her and we don't. You have to follow your heart when it comes to things ike this.

You are in an interesting situation...So you were in a crisis and your gf took it upon herself to "befriend" another guy?? I know it had to make you feel awful that she was doing this...A friend helping her financially, but her tryna talk to this guy...Come on?? Your gf is not good for you...I know you have weathered this financial crisis, but can you get through it once it happens again...And this time, she may actually not get caught..And you may get caught with something...Something you may not be able to get rid of..A infectious disease...Just be careful...You have to think with your brain...Don't be always lead by feelings...Friend me and we can network...I hope I helped...LaShaunta

Now, I sensed a red light here. You have doubt on her faithfulness, and now you caught her lie, and taking advantage of other guys, because of money. Can you trust her be faithful to you, or she might lie to you too? Consider your relationship with her, and re - evaluate your love toward her. I would suggest you talk it out loud. I like people taking advantage of others, because they are admirers. That just plain wrong.

Hi paolo! Welcome to mylot! It seems that the girl has lied to you many times and you still forgive her?? Not to say that you should not but for me taking advantage to other people is not a correct way to get out of the problem. On this case she is taking an advantage from both of you. If you forgive her means you accept the fact that she did it to pay your debts and allowed it. If I am a man I will feel not right and ashamed to cheat people in order to get their money to pay for my debts. It's not a good money from not a right source~ You should forgive her but to stay with her, you need to think more than twice~

Once could be forgiveable. Two times could also be forgivable but also no longer your girlfriend. It could make you wonder what else she is doing that you dont know about. You can do bad all by yourself do you really need her help?

Personally I believe that trust and honesty are the most important things in a relationship, and it doesn't seem like you have either of those things in your relationship with this girl. No one can tell you what to do, ultimately it is something that you have to decide on your own. Having said that though, I have to tell you that if I were you, I would end things. If she is lying to you about things that you have caught her at, who's to say what she is lying about that you haven't caught her at? I am sorry that you are going through this, it isn't fair when you are doing everything you can to keep this girl in your life. I wish you luck and hope that things work out. Good luck and happy mylotting

Oh...yikes. There are so many things wrong with this. My utmost advice would be to end the relationship, for a number of reasons. For one, your girlfriend is manipulating other people for her (and even your) benefit. This is clearly wrong, selfish, and is an indication of how little she cares about other people and the resources they give up for her, which is an indication that you will (and may have already been) taken advantage of as well. If you know of what she's doing and haven't stopped her, you are also guilty of not stopping the manipulation and lies of this woman. Secondly, this woman is not responsible. If she is relying on other people to take care of what should be her responsibility (especially because she's doing so with manipulation), you can be sure this woman is not mature enough to have responsibility of any profound importance. Do not share debts with this woman, and please God, do not reproduce with her. Lastly, let's pretend for a second that manipulation was okay for decent human beings to do to other human beings. This woman has been using sweet, romantic names to other men without your knowledge. At the very least, this woman should have informed you that this was her plan so you would know she would be doing such a thing without having romantic interest. The whole situation also seems extremely dishonest to you, and you've mentioned she's lied before. I don't know how you got caught up with this woman, and I sincerely hope it wasn't through mutual personality "traits". This is the type of person I go out of my way to avoid--those with little respect for other human beings, those willing to lie and manipulate for selfish reasons--oh, yes, we have a clear loser here on her way to trouble and/or jail time down the road. Please, for the sake of yourself, end this relationship and bring yourself to an understanding that everything this woman is doing is WRONG.

You both need to talk on this seriously. Every situation can be diffirent, but you may want to talk to your girlfriend on this because taking advantage of other people for money is not a good act. And who knows, she might fall for this person for filling out something that you are having lapses.

I guess love is forgiving , blind and stupid, however if your are really love her you can always give her another chance to come clean and repent and not betray you again.Talk to her face to face, however , if she lies again then better brake off and maybe your will find always a better than her girl who can appreciate your hard work. Hope your are able to let her go and not be taken be a fool again and again.

Welcome to mylot and sorry about that. Why don't you try talking to that boy? I don't think that the girl will get into that kind of stage, the name calling if she doesnt like the guy. I saw people taking advantge of other people but that doesn't include that.

sounds like you have a relationship that brings with it emotional turmoil, where you constantly are wondering if you can trust her, though without having enough evidence that you can't. is this a relationship type you are familiar with? these things are complicated but we tend to find ourselves in similar relationships throughout our life, until we make a positive decision to change things, and become aware of whats happening. if you are angry, but holding back and forgiving her, you are probably storing up trouble for yourself, as all that anger will eventually build up inside and make you ill. again, is there a pattern in your life of not expressing anger, and forgiving too easily? do you not like arguments for some reason? eventually you will have to confront these issues, but whether you want to do it now or not only you can decide.

Hi Iampaolo (or Giampaolo?), anyway in your case I would quit her simply because some mistakes are really huge and impossible to forget (not to forgive). the problem here is the trust you had in her and you will never get back...even if you try hard in the near future at the first fight or discussion you will start to tell her that you forgave her for such bad habit bringing back the all bad story! This thing will never go away between you and her and it will pollute your relationship forever. You will become the victim! Something similar (but not for money just cheating) happened to me when I was 25 years old and I kept the relationship because I really loved her. Well first 3 years perfect, after the facts last 3 years a nightmare full of sadness and ungry days to the point we could not stand each others no more. I quitted too late! Now after 20 years I am ok and she is too, we are friends but that is all! Be egoist in love if thuis is to save yourself...it is worth believe me. i feel sorry for you, but there is better out there :)

I wonder where that financial crisis did come from. Who's debts were these that had to be payed of? Since you knew about this for longer and you accepted that money too to pay of the debts you can't put all the blame on her. For the rest: if you suddenly don't trust her anymore, or blame her for everything, or don't need her anymore because you have no debts anymore it's up to you if you start all over again alone (without her) or give your relationship a new impulse. BTW it's hard for me to believe that admirer did not know she already has a bf.

Whoaw even if you are or not in Financial crisis, she should have at least informed you about it. Who knows she's just telling this lies to you but she is already thinking of leaving you already. First of all why should she need to take advantage of the guy, he can at least made it clear to the guy that she needs help only and not to actually call him with sweet names.

That is really awfull..if you are not feeling ok then you should say to stop doing this.. because if you can't trust her to that level then if you might see it again you 2 might break upo.. rather than breaking up isn't it better you tell you aren't fine with it and you'll find some other way to clean your debts..possible a clean way!

If i were i'd dump her, there are better girls out there who don't cheat on their boyfriends just for the sake of getting money. Or in your case, maybe you can talk over it.

I think there is some misunderstanding , you both have to discus on this . Then there will be any way to solve it .

well for em depending on your situation. i would call it stupid...because one way or other people she fools around will caught her. that would be a nasty thing to do because you can only be satisfied with things that mean something to you and be happy. if your not happy at all then break up but if you still love her and then just deal with it. it pays your debt right...then just go with the flow of your life...