Could you forgive?

I can't imagine this, it's impossible for me. I have only one child, I've lost her father in an accident years ago and it's impossible for to put myself in such a situation. But if I have to assess it... What is done is done and you can't change it. You have suffered a lot and years later what would be a help for you? A revenge or a pardon? Maybe they should be punished but this wouldn't bring back your child.

No I could never forgive someone like that especially if they were to killed my child or anyone for that matter! That is just how I feel. I say no let the person fry! And let me watch them pull the plug!!!

Strangely enough, I have recently addressed this issue in my blog. I don't feel that forgiveness is something that you can do, but is a way of being... something that you are (being). We can only be willing to forgive, but whilst we are still in the "blaming" state of mind, we just need to focus and meditate on it. Then if we are willing, we will forgive, but without that willingness, it isn't going to happen. We may forget the less painful incidents, but something like losing a child isn't ever going to be forgotten, well not by most of us, but forgiveness is possible. Forgiveness is about healing. Hatred and vengeance will only create illness in one form or another. The mind can create great stress that will effect the body sooner or later. From my point of view, I could be willing to be forgiving, but words are just not adequate to decribe how I would forgive, so I guess it would be more fitting to say that an experience of forgiveness would visit me by my "invitation" (willingness). Yes, regarding somebody who had hurt somebody I loved, I would want vengeance and for them to be severely punished. I would need to go through the feelings without repressing them. As Zen practitioner, I would meditate on my feelings and eventually transcend the intensity of them. How long it would take would be akin to asking how long is a piece string. Being willing would enable me to focus on my hurt. The need for vengeance may be part of that hurt, I do not know, but vengeance would never change anything only myself. I feel that we are spirits having a physical experience and life itself is violent, if I think closely about it. It hurts in many ways to die. So pain must be part of our spiritual lesson perhaps? _Derek

Well, I don't have children of my own, but if somenone ever did anything to hurt my nephews I would definitely never forgive them. Also I don't think there is anything anyone can do to atone for murder.

well i love my daughter with all my heart and if i knew the person that killed her i would probably go crazy and would want the person to be jailed for life. but i would never get revenge its just not the right thing to do. you won't get no where with that. but if they do all they can to prove that there sorry and and they truely mean it. i would forgive them.

no.... never....... i m not gonna forgive them anyhow... They are not deserve it.

I am not sure anyone could fully forgive but one must try to forgive for their own sake, it is easier to live with a clear soul and no negative feelings, but i think it would be very hard to forgive.

Oh wow. This takes the question into a completely different level. The answer to this question can only be right for the situation that you are facing. For me personally anyways.. I always forgive the people in my family. For this specific situation I really cant answer yes or no on this. My goal is to always forgive in all situations because then it will place a burden on me that I cant set down. I keep this goal with the popular saying "you can forgive, but you cant forget. ~C~

I am not sure how I would really feel. I am not sure if I would feel justice was served or not.

How could I ever forgive and forget a person who has taken away the life of my child? I would not leave any stone unturn and ensure that this person be given the heaviest penalty for her crime.

hi dawn no I really do not think I could forgive them as they killed someone who is part of me. My own child,no . and the law on murder is always open years later.If you murder someone you have to expect to go to prison. why would the murderer of my child be free ? the law will punish him if he is proved the murderer of my child. the revenge is not mine to give or hold back. murder is murder unless you kill someone who is trying to kill you./ but kill my child you have killed part of me. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Impossible. I am not so noble to forgive such cruelty. I wished to kick out my pet cat when he killed a wild bird, ( i wrote on a discussion) but later changed the decision so, really impossible to me. sorry.. Have a nice time.

This is like a double edge sword. I would fell horrible for the kid. Unfortunately, I would want him/her punished via jury. I'm a forgiving person but I believe the child, who's more than likely an adult now and has suffered his/her whole life. Do to the abuse they received as a child and also for the crime of killing someone. They would remember the abuse & killing forever. It will never go away. It's a sad situation. Best Wishes!

If i had to imagine such circustance and to keep myself on that place i don't think so i will ever be able to forgive those people..never ever..Whenever i will remember my child i will remember those people also who took away my child from me and i will curse them each and every moment..I am a normal human not a high saint or priest who has this high power of forgiving people for what so ever they had done..I would certainly try to get them punished so that its a lesson for others too and to some extent it will calm me too..thinking that i had done some justice to my child.

no i could not forgive.i'd tell them to get away from me and never contact me again. no amount of atonement would give me back the life they took.

I don't have children and I don't it to happen to any of my family members. I am not sure if I can't forgive the criminal as it takes time to cure the scar but I know eventually I will forgive them as what past is past. They will get what they deserved. I would want them to get punishment for what they did but I will not get revenge as it will only make things worst.

hi, if they will kill my child or even who member of my family i think i couldn't forgive them,and that is so hard to do,because they kill my love ones,and i will let them to be punish and i wanted the punishment is to kill them too like what they did to my child.

You had to go there? No, I would not be able to forgive because there could never be enough remorse to drive a person to do things they believe will atone for taking the life of my child. Their grief could never possibly be greater than my own because it is my flesh and blood. Even if this person had children of their own would I be able to believe that they would be able to understand my grief. I would want them to pay for such a move. I would not want nothing from them. Closure would not even be possible.

Nope, never.

its really a tough devision to make. But, I one that comes to mind, would their been punished change any thing. I don't think so. They were kids, from abusive homes, they have attoned meaning they having realised the hurt or pain inflected fill they dezerbe so,e measure of punishment whicch they have suffered. If I were you, I will forgive them cos forgiveness ain't what we do for other people, we do OT for pirself to be able to move on.