Single Mother Middle Class... help or no help?

I wish I had great words of advice to offer you, but alas, I am just a sympathetic ear. My husband and I found ourselves in the same type situation when our business went under. I made too much to qualify for the government help, but really didnt make enough for a family of four to get by on. It was lame and we just had to scrape by and sell off some assets to make ends meet until he got back to working. Hopefully you have better luck than we did.

Yours is a prime example why the our system doesn't work. For those getting assistance if they do try and better themselves they get it taken away before they can get on their feet so what does it say? Don't better yourself. In your case because you are trying to do for yourself and your child you are given nothing. We need to reward more for those doing what you are doing. The Y does have a single parent discount. Churches will help at times pay a bill here and there. I wish you the best and wish I could be of more help. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please know your working hard will be what your child needs to know how to be a good man and a hard worker and he will go far in his life all because of you. Hang in there everything you do is worth it.

I agree with you. It seems like either way you can't win in this country. I don't feel that you are saying that things should just be handed out to you but if you need the help then you should be able to have the help. Sometimes these people don't take into consideration that even earning 21,000 is not enough to pay rent, bills, food and to take care of your kids. It's just ludicrous! I really don't know how to help you because I'm sort of in the same boat. My mother is on welfare because she can't work and barely earns anything. I help her out with what I can. I've seen people who drive cars and are on welfare while people like you and me have to suffer and we really need the help. Did you try welfare, food stamps, section 8 or rent controlled? Or anything else like that? I wish you the best of luck and hope that you can find some sort of help.

Everyone should be able to receive help if they need it. However, if you're considered well-off they don't want to help. Backwards I would know. Though consider money managment. Preioritize your debts. Decide what you need to do the most. A lot of the problems you face, are considered poor finical planning on your part and many don't honestly believe you need the help. Saddly people judge based on dollar value and how nice of a place you live. If you altered your lifestyle slightly, then you'd be able to make your dollar's streach and no longer require aid. Think about the choices you're making. And think... what are needs, what are wants? If you make an effort to cut back and pay what's required, and are still struggeling then you might qulify for assistance. Perhaps in debt reduction or something like that. I am in no way implying you're a bad mother. Nor am I implying you're not doing something right. I'm only trying to explain things from the prespective that is trust upon you. What people see is a hard-working mother who is aiming too high and has poor money managment skills crying for help because her child is costing her too much money. We all want what's best for our children, and if we're making a decent sizable amount, we find it hard to say 'no'. But where do we draw the line? Unkle sam says you're above poverity-- barely, but in the grand sceame of things you're no different then me... who is below poveroty and barely getting by from one month to the next. All I can rightly ask for ... of you... is to have faith, and perhaps take a look back. What can you do to make things better. Is a gym membership that important, when you could create a home jym for less money?

Yeah that would be a difficult situation to be in. And I'm not sure exactly what you could do. Perhaps looking for a job that pays more in your field. I think that institutions and stuff don't want to give handouts to those who have degrees as they probably feel that the income should be sufficient.

What kind of degree do you have? I'm sure you'll catch up, but it's a little harder when we're in a recession. They say that right out of school people with degrees make the same as people without degrees, but in the long run they make more. For now go to your local welfare or Medicaid office and ask them what might be available till you get on your feet. They might have programs or assistance you didn't know about. Clip coupons and try to save where you can by looking for good deals. You can also try mystery shopping for a little extra cash. I am a working mom too and I actually enjoy secret shopping when I can squeeze it in. So far this month I've made an extra $230 for just a couple of hours of work when it was convenient for me.

okay elderly woman on tiny social security and ssi and I read you make above 21,000 oh my G od I would feel wealthy with that kind of money myself.When I was wo rking partime I never made that much but I helped to pay the rent on our apartment and helped to pay the utilities. you have degrees can you teach in a high school or a college as here in California a lot make darned good salaries. I know paying back loans is the pits,I had to take some of my retirement lump sum to pay off the last of my student loan.Then I had to fork over five different lump sums of one thousand dollars to help my son pay the doubled rent on our apartment .I know I should be more charitiable to you but the hell we went throu gh the past almost four years has left a lot of bitter in me. Now my little family was split when my son was laid off his job the tail end of 2008.we got behind on the rent and were made homeless so in desperation as a last resort here I am in this lousy retirement home at 85 not in an apartment with my own room,not where I am my own person again but here. everything is done for you, blah blah oh great big deal crap. I may be elderly but not senile. I can make my own bed, vacuum my own floor, clean my own bathroom thank you but no they must earn their wages.I must have a roommate as I cannot afford a private room here. my social security and ssi check are used to pay the rent and board each month and I get back oh lovely lovely 128 dollars for my own personal use. so I do a lot of my lotting just to pay my monthly cable internet bill. You have an ex husband so why is he not paying alimony for his son? this wo uld surely help you a lot. I suggest that with all the loans you must pay back you try to cut out stuff like cable TV and any extra Computers and gadgets as they consume electricity like everything, cut back all you can to me 21000 sounds like a lot of money but yet in some places like where I am here in Calif. our rents are sky high and housing also so I guess 21000 is not so much after all.but the education you have somehow you need to strike out and take a job that pays a lot better, get some help from the last U you went too to find a job that will pay well and use all that great education. I have a B A in English and it has not done me any good really. I am a would be writer not published. so no money there. love to write if anyone would just buy it. lol lol good luck and God bless.