Does he love her while still wondering about his ex?
By karin27
@karin27 (141)
South Africa
January 23, 2012 3:37am CST
I know a friend that has a girl and they have been dating for over a year, but i catch him from time to time still checking up on his ex on facebook, He claims he is only snooping, but not to sure what to think, Does he stil have feelings for this ex of his? which he dated for 9 months?
2 people like this
12 responses
@puppynut (370)
• New Zealand
24 Jan 12
I think it's impossible to not have feelings for anyone you are intimate with, but there has to be a resolve and a closure to it all. There has to be a transitioning into friendship and it actually takes an even higher love than the physical one you had before. When somebody has a new partner it is important to be honest with the new partner about any contact with past partners. I myself have re-examined some past relationships and it only makes me love my current partner more. There has to be limits though to any contact or conversation with exes, in respect of and for the new partner. That is how I see it anyway. There is no point in hating exes and it is liberating to move into an acceptance of them. But I don't know if it is possible to have day to day friendship with exes.
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
25 Jan 12
Well, maybe he does still feel something for her since they were together for that long, and just wanting to make sure she is Happy. Or maybe the relationship he or she is in is not really going the Best and he wants to ask her out again, but afraid of what might happen. You never know, but that can be an issue until you really find your true mate what is Best for you to do.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
24 Jan 12
I don't know. All I can say is I hope for the best for my ex But... I Never try to contact him , Ever. My guy is all I will Ever need and want. There are two things you can do, wither ignore it or tell your friend. Both are hard to do. Good Luck.
@veejay19 (3589)
• India
25 Jan 12
Many times it is quite difficult to get over a relationship in which one has been emtionally been involved for a long time.Time is a great healer and it will take time for your friend for him to ease the pain of seperation.However he should make an effort and concentrate only on his current date because if he doesn`t and she finds out then he will lose her too and then he will be saddled with two broken hearts instead of just one.
@kaylachan (71767)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
24 Jan 12
It's possible he still cares for his ex, but at the same time he might be concerned and having trouble letting go of the past. If that's so, then he's got some issues he needs to share with the person he's currently with and make sure their relationship isn't too closed off. If it is, that could provide problems later in life.
@moneywinner (1864)
• Brazil
24 Jan 12
Maybe yes, but only because he, occasionally, check his ex's facebook page doesn't mean that he still likes her or anything. I think we all have curiosity about our ex girlfriend/boyfriend lives, you go there to check what they are doing, if they are in a new relationship..but this doesn't mean anything more than curiosity, at least this is how I am.
@AkatsukIJSN (211)
• Philippines
23 Jan 12
I think maybe it is only natural for him to do that specially if there was only a short gap between the relationships, or if it was the girl who left him. I think in this case there is really a feeling for his ex but the real question is by how much. If this feeling would grow and it turns out that he is also leaving messages to his ex, that would be another scenario in which society frowns upon. I think it is best to ask your friend directly if he still likes his ex. Maybe by asking it would give him a chance to assess himself on why he is still looking at his ex.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
23 Jan 12
I think if you still checking your ex you still have feelings. What kind of feelings only your friend can tell you.
@li123456li (101)
• China
23 Jan 12
I think he have feelings for both girls.and from biological perspective it's right to love two girls at the same time.But this kind of emotional appeals don't be facilitated simultaneously due to social moral restrictions.So I think it is hard to say about human emotional problem.
@marieandtim (99)
• United States
24 Jan 12
people in serious relationships should not use facebook inless the other person is there next to them i have some stupid 28 year girl lieing to my 48 year old guy and he choose to be-leave her over me we were engaged he has never met her really my space and face book should go away its to easy to lie and say your single you show married or engaged and single people still go right after them