Little problem with a friend
By Timeout
@Timeout (419)
January 23, 2012 8:40am CST
I am living in UK since two years ago and a friend of mine is gonna come so she contacted me to arrange a meeting in London. At the moment I cannot afford any whim and she says the same about her. But as we haven't met in 5 years and she is a good friend of mine I said yes. It's not a very expensive journey, I found megabus tickets for 5 pounds return, and a hotel room for 20 pounds. As we dont want to spend much we made a list of things we want to do for free.
The problem comes when she calls me to tell me she has seen some kind of Doctor Who show. She is a very big fan of Doctor Who and she said she wanted to go, but she understood she is already bothering me too much making me go to London to meet her so she would pay for the ticket. (The ticket is 25 pounds). I said I would not accept it because I know she is unemployed, I don't really like Doctor Who and I dont want her to pay for me something that I am not gonna enjoy... I could also pay for it but I have been saving a lot and cutting me from things I want and even need... I have been buying clothes in charities, and check the best prices for groceries even if that means going to 3 different supermarkets, to just throw 25 pounds in something I don't really like...
Well, she said that and she just called me now to arrange some details and she said "would you mind paying half the ticket for your Doctor Who experience?" I got a bit annoyed with that request and now I don't know what to do. She is a good friend, and she really wants to go, but I have been depriving myself of things I like just to save money, 12 pounds is not a lot but the thing itself annoys me...
What would you do people of mylot? I need advice!
4 responses
@kundanraj (660)
• India
23 Jan 12
You story is too long but a nice one. I think she is good friend and understad the finacial trouble you have but if she want to have you with her then must go but don't let her pay everthing but few offcourse.
I belive money divides relationship so better keep the distance from the money and all those. I had one thing if she forcing you too much go once and and pay half of ticket fare but next time in future see repeat the same then told her that friendship is all about helping and not what she want. Just expalined quitelly so she got the idea. I now suggest you go.
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
23 Jan 12
Fact is you don't have the money and already going to London will cost you money. The money you did not intend to spend on the first place.
Your friend is comming over there too. No money.. but still money to spend on Dr Who?
That sounds a bit strange in my ears. No money is no money. As I understand she has money but is just not willing to spend it on a hotel or?
I am like you. You can only spend a pound once. If I don't like dr Who I am not willing to spend money on that. If my friend was willing to pay my full ticket I might come just to keep her company. But still I would tell her I don't like it and it's a waste of money to my opinion.
It seems to me that the two of you have different points of view if it comes to being short and how to spend the less money you have.
You spend it on a busticket and hotel (most necessary if you want to meet) she preferes to spend it on theater.
I would tell her to go alone. Make clear to her that already the busticket plus hotelcosts were not calculated in your budget. That you have already a hard financial time. You can do (buy) a lot for 12 pounds so don't let her force you to pay it. It's up to her how she spends her money and it's your decision how you spend yours. I don't think it's a good idea to get in more financial problems just because of a show.
@Timeout (419)
•
24 Jan 12
We have booked hotel together (paying half each). She is gonna stay near London for a week. I am living in the north of England (Yorkshire) and I'll go to London to meet her for two days and then I come back.
You are very right, she should see that, sometimes it annoys me that I have to understand that she is a very big fan of DW and really wants to go to that show if I wanna be a good friend, but she cannot see that I'll have to go to an unplanned trip and I am short of money.
@befrindwithme26 (5805)
• Philippines
24 Jan 12
Good that she is a good friend,but i must tell the truth slowly that not much money to spent about what she did request.
You can't force your self if you have something not enough.
@sayo13 (414)
• India
24 Jan 12
timeout i would suggest you to be open and honest to your friend.if this friendship has got real importance in your life then thinking about long term perspective i would like you to be as you are to her.
in this kind of friendship where you value that person so much , you should also let her know what you want . and i am sure that your friend will surely value your decision and opinion on what you want.
you have the option of letting her pay the half and also visit the doctor instead of your wish. but in friendship you need to be clear from both the side. choose to be spontaneous to your dear and near ones that will help built your relations stronger.
all the best. take care.
