In a great confusion....pls help me....
By sajujohn
@sajujohn (1005)
India
January 24, 2012 3:04am CST
When I'm saying this I am in a great dilemma. Actually I have been loving a girl very much for the past 3 years, but never said to her. It was about 8 months before I proposed her(said that I love her and want to marry her).But the thing was that before I haven't spoken to her earlier. That was for the first time that I talked to her. At that time she didn't replied anything except that she will reply after sometime because she wanted to think about it.
A couple of months later our graduation got over and then we started chatting in FB and Gtalk.Then a month later we started texting/SMS-ing each other. But suddenly after 2 months she stopped texting and said that she doesn't want to continue this as she afraid of her father's approval of our relationship.She said that we will be relation only if her father agrees and also said that she will do only as her father tells.She wants me to tell all the things to her father. But even now she still call me every weekend and also does mail me.
But the sad thing is that now I am not in a condition to contact her dad now. Also before contacting her dad I just want to know whether she loves me or not. If I ask her dad and if he agrees she too will agree and if he rejects my proposal she will also reject me. The condition is like that. If say to her father I won't get an answer for my question. I am of the opinion that I want an answer from her first then only I would approach her father.
Is this right??or should I approach her father first? I don't know what to do?please help me....
9 responses
@himzey (1321)
• India
24 Jan 12
Dude !! She just signaled you that she likes you. She herself asked you to go ask her hand from her dad. What else are you waiting for...??
Go talk to her dad as soon as you are in a position to. She cant say it directly as she is afraid of her dad and if she commits to you without her dad's approval then she'll probably be letting herself have a heartbreak if things doesn't turn out right for you two.
Believe me ... she likes you, but she cant say it. Talk to her about how can you convince her dad.
All the best to you two...
@sajujohn (1005)
• India
25 Jan 12
Thank you Himzey for your comment.
I am ready to go ask to her dad.But if I ask her dad and he agrees with our relationship (only just imagine....it won't happen as easy as we are thinking) only because of that reason she too will say a 'Yes' even if she don't love me and I don't want her to trouble her life . I want to know whether she really loves me or not. That's why now I am hesitant to go to her father and ask her hand.
@himzey (1321)
• India
25 Jan 12
If she doesn't like you then she wouldn't have ever asked you to asker her hand from her father. No girl can bear the humiliation of bringing a jerk in front of her father. Otherwise her father will be the one taking all her personal decisions for her then after.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
25 Jan 12
If you are sure she likes or loves you and it's okay to her you approach her father (it's 2012 but ok) then do so if you really love her. I guess in this situation there is no other way.
@loveandpeace (470)
• Indonesia
25 Jan 12
Hi, you've been loving her for 3 years. This is up to you, if you want to settle this relationship then you should talk with her father, you should find a way, go for it. If you feel like you want to give a little time, then wait if something new come up from her or her father. Or you could insist that she'll have to answer you first before you talk with her father. Anyway, whatever you decide, I wish you good luck 
.
.
@rahul2u (200)
• India
25 Jan 12
hello friend, you seems to be in a big problem.first think if the girl also loves you as you love her , then only your relationship will be good and nice.then you can face any kind of problems and no one can make you apart.but it seems the girl is not ready to face any problems.first know that the girl is loving you or simply trying to escape from you.if she really loves you means definitely she will propose to you.later she will talk about his father and his approval.finally this is your problem and your life.think twice before taking any decision.if needed ask your parents help.they will solve your problem.
all the best for your love.
@tatzkie23 (770)
• Philippines
25 Jan 12
Ask her father's approval. She just want to have a relationship with you if her father approves. But i hope he will, Don't get nervous, if you really love this girl then you'll do anything. By talking to her dad, will show that you are really serious about her daughter, so prove your self my friend. I know that her father will like you, because you are very kind and loving man. You can do it.
@cttolledo (5454)
• Legaspi, Philippines
25 Jan 12
if you are really sure with your feelings,you shouldn't hesitate to do what she wanted you to do...girls are just like that very respectful to their parents..
and its your job to prove your worth in front of her parents....its kinda challenging.....it really happens in real life..go go!
@wunderful (55)
•
24 Jan 12
Hi, Is it not better for your family to approach her father, rather than you? Are your family circumstances and status equal? Or is there something the father would disapprove off?
It sounds like she has considered your proposal, after completing her exams, when she has time and a clear mind. She has enjoyed the contact, but before making a commitment to you that she cannot keep, due to her family loyalties , she has requested that these be taken care of. It seem that she is a methodical and considering person, and as you took three years to approach her it would seem you are too.
You say you cannot approach the father at this time? Is this due to your personal position? Are you unemployed, or in some way not worthy? If you have a paticular reason why you cannot approach her father at this time, I would suggest that you discuss this problem with her, and how/when it will be resolved and get her opinion on the time involved. If she has just graduated would her family be expecting her to marry in the near future? Or is there some time to pursue her?
I would suggest that she likes you, maybe see's a future with you, but does not want to fully commit all her emotions before knowing your relationship can be a reality.
I wish you all the best, and hope that this works for you.
@mselin (77)
• India
24 Jan 12
It seems she does not know if she likes you or not. If she liked you she would have said so rather than putting the blame on her father. yet, she wanted to see if you were good enough for her so she tried chatting with you for some time.
It would be better to talk to her openly to know what her opinion is. Even if her father approves, you can't get married unless she likes you. Tell her that. Ask if she likes you if not loves you. After that only comes talking to her father.
Even if he disapproves, you can always try to convince him by overcoming whatever it that he finds to be a hurdle.
@saurabhreigns (175)
• India
24 Jan 12
Dude what you are thinking to do is correct because if she feels no pain in loosing you and no gain in having you then it hardly makes any sense.
If she too loves you then she must take a stand.I am not saying that she should go against her father and run away with you.What i mean is that she should make her statement in front of her father and let him know how much she loves you and how much you love her.
If you guys somehow manage to let her father believe that his daughter will live a happy married life with you, he will certainly accept your proposal brother.
Trust me.
All the best to both of you.
:)
