Breaking Up With Your Partner.
By redgutz
@redgutz (57)
Philippines
January 25, 2012 7:17am CST
I'm 24 year's old, and have my first serious relationship with my partner right now. were already 2 years and six months in our , that two years long is not that solid. I love this girl and i never ever try to cheat on her, she's the most precious person i ever know in my life. we started our relationship discreetly in her family. the first major problem that we been through is our first breakup. i let her go because he wanted it, after a few weeks she contact me and tell me that he still love me, and we get back together.. after 1 year, we still doing ok until one day I feel something that there is something wrong happening, i tried to get information from her workplace and our common friends. I doubt her best friend (male). i can feel that something happening wrong. sometimes she doesn't want me to fetch her after office. day after days I'm so very doubtful with things happening. even my nightmares keep saying me that something wrong. then i found out the he had affair with his best friend for almost 1 year. I don't know what t do my whole body is numb and i always wanted to be sober everyday. despite of what i found out she still keep saying that she always love me and still love me at first place it so hard for me to believe. maybe shes just saying that because he's scared of what will happened to me if she left me.. I'm so desperately in my life that time, my worlds turn around only for her but i found out it just lie. I almost lost my life. I ask her to choose between us, he choose me. we started all over again but the pain still, and the trust is not that pure as before. its almost one year since it happened and here we go again i notice a changes again when i came back from vacation in my hometown for just 20 day. she had this office mate that he always mentioned when i was in prob. he always had a date with this guy because she'e missing me so much. then when i came back from vacation i noticed that there is no excitement on her. he always forget to call me after work and inform me on what she's doing, that she always did before. i try to investigate again then i found out that shes staying on this office mate basement office that only two person can get in and its so closed and no other people will see what they doin inside. he always did that, and i caught her that he lie on me because of that guy. and he didn't did that once, i don't know how many times he did that to me. I don't know what should i do right now. my loters please help me what will i do..
9 responses
@allenwebstar (11)
• India
25 Jan 12
Some one said "If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve." Now stop investigating her. You know the truth now. So there is no more point left to investigate her. When she is in good mood someday, talk to her and discuss about her this affairs and behavior. Every person deserve 2nd change but not 3rd. Tell her if she is really unhappy with you, then take your on road. If she is not interested in you anymore, why you are killing yourself? Now keep your self-respect high. I think talking about this things is a better solution. Try to fix problem by discussing if she will not ready. Forget her and find someone new who really cares for you. Just do your responsibilities but don't care her and watch the reactions.
Might be it happens when there is something lacking in you also, just keep her memories out of your head and try to work out for yourself. Stop comparing yourself with others, just work on yourself make your health, body and lifestyle productive.
@kyrararen (601)
• Indonesia
1 Feb 12
Hi allenwebstar. I really agree with you. I think he doesn;t have to be so drowned in such feeling. finding the girl;s feeling there I think could do better for him, if she really likes him, he can continue it, but if she doesnt, then there are still so many nice girls out there.
it doesn;t have to be just her. he can find other girl, someone who really love him, and commit to her words.
@kyrararen (601)
• Indonesia
1 Feb 12
hmm I think because you two have been so long together it seems to me she lost excitements. maybe she did that just because she wanted to play and get some more excitements. well, but you are right, it is so hard to trust somebody after what that one disappointed us in such way. well, if you love her, you need to deal with your feeling. because if you dont try to put trust more on her, I am afraid, even after she only focus on you, you still have that doubt, anxiety, curiosity, which will only make you suffer and could probably destroy the relationship you want to have.
If you really love her that much, (I believe you already think that she has already been in relationship you are afraid of with this guy) prepare yourself to make a move on her again. win her heart. well, I know flirting with your own girlfriend is kinda ridiculous, but man, I think you have to do it. you are her boyfriend, you should know how is she, and what she likes, etc etc (notes: not the things YOU THINK she likes). so your winning is almost obvious.
but well, serious relationship is not all about excitement. it;s about commitment too. I think before you make any step, whatever it is, you should think it, man. wish you good luck.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
25 Jan 12
If you have a relationship for over 2 years why you don't go on vacation together?
I think you should trust your feelings. And even if they are not right then the trust in her is gone and you will never be able to get over these thoughts/ideas who are living in your heart and head.
So I would advice you to end this relationship. It doesn't give you what you expect from it and it doesn't give you positive energy or happiness. Don't waste your life with hoping and waiting for the best. If you want something to change you have to act.
@gaea23 (252)
• Philippines
26 Jan 12
You are really hurt with her, with what she did to you but it's not the end of the world. You have to make up your mind now. I think and really think of that girl is not suited for you. She's disrespectful with your relationship. She is dishonest and I don't think she good enough for you. It's about time now that you have to let her go and don't let her fool you again. You deserve a better woman that her. Ask God's guidance and enlightenment, so you will be able to really decide what is good for you. May God Bless you and guide you.
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
25 Jan 12
Hello Redgutz, Good day!
first of all, i admire you for staying and keeping your relationship with her eventhough you know to yourself that she's done a mistake, a grave mistake. i have that experience as well and i know that once trust has been broken it is so hard for you to pick all the pieces and make it whole again. i say that you've done your part as a friend and as a lover, you have gave your full trust to that girl, but the thing is she broke it not just once or twice, i could understand if she's done it once because everyone can make a mistake and nobody's perfect, however, doing it again and again means that she is no longer happy and in love with you and you should realize that.
The only advice i can give you is to let her go, leave some love for yourself. there are a lot of girls out there that is more worth your time and love. believe me, it is so hard to run the relationship if there are no longer trust between the both of you and that the "respect" is already gone as well, remember that love alone doesn't guarantee a successful relationship, it must consist of "Love", "Respect" and "Trust".
i wish you all the best and hopefully you will have a decision that would benefit both of you... Take Care,
@leeannahewitt21 (97)
• United States
25 Jan 12
i know how you feel i am 21 years old n dont have a boyfriend to help me with my lil girl that is going to be 2 in may
@novelcai (600)
• Philippines
25 Jan 12
hi there.
i will be post here my honest opinion about your situation right now. Im a girl but i can feel your sadness there. I will tell you this "truth hurts" but truth makes you free. I will ask you this Will you be still happy if she will stay to you if your mind will not stop doubting her because she already breake your trust many times?
No one is perfect anmd in every relationship there will be lots of trials lots of ups and downs. But breaking trust is the most hard part of relationship.
Yes sometimes situation is really beyond our control and sometimes we become weak and sometimes we did something that we dont like. Honestly i made mistake also in my life. But that mistakes makes me strong and give me lesson in life.
If someone made mistake then repeat again i can say that its habitual already maybe because she knows that you cant stand w/out her that she knows what ever she did your always there open arms to accept her again and again. I know you love her so much but people tend to get tired also.. heart get tired also loving a person who dont know how to give love in return.
You will be sad but its normal, time will help you to heal and you should love your self too. God bless
@kaeirole (668)
• Philippines
25 Jan 12
the only thing you can do is to make a choice..leave her, but eventually you'll be ok, or stay with her and be miserable..
i know it's hard to break up..but it'll be harder if you'll stay that way..you can't continue your relationship to her with continuous doubts..it's clear trust was lost the moment you found out about your girl's affair..
@jtj_hello (627)
• Philippines
25 Jan 12
Goodluck to you. If you love her, do everything you can to keep the love burning. SOmetimes we have to make sacrifice for us not to l\lose the person we love. I wish you two well.
