Is it really really hard to show appreciation?

You don't know why there are some people who don't know how to to appreciate!.You will never get an answer for this as this is a wrong question you asked airasheila. You say you don't understand why some people can't appreciate, how can one appreciate the thing done which they didn't want to get done but still it gets done by someone else and it doesn't even matter to them a bit then why will they appreciate it or the person who did it when it has no relation to them whatsoever. Where the person who did something for someone else will think that how mean the other is not appreciating for what i did but the other person will be thinking how crazy he/she is bothering with unnecessary stuff. Same is the case with you and your mother.Where at one hand you were thinking how grateful she would be seen what you have done for her preparing a vegetable dessert presenting in a great way but on the other hand you mother thinks that it was a waste of time what you did and she is just being honest about what she thinks.Now what say you appreciate! the fact that she is being honest with you and not giving away fake responses to what you do. You know if you really want to be appreciated then just don't try it.Don't be the judge of others and doing things on their behalf without even them knowing it and then later on realizing that you got everything screwed and it was better to stay away this and that.You will be better off if you stop reading others mind and just asking them what they actually want.You will see that will really appreciated.Stop craving for appreciation and do things selflessly and you will a lot of appreciation coming your way all the time.

I'm sorry to hear that. I know you're hurt. Maybe your mom didn't see your effort, She only saw that you just waste your time. Maybe she's not in the mood that time. Yes it's true for some people not to show appreciation, i don't why. But i think it's about their pride or ego. They think that they have nothing to be appreciate to. They only see the bad or the negative side. I think that those people are lonely and need some attention. I also think that, those people are hot headed, and appreciating thing is big deal with them. As for me, i say thank you for every simple things that is given or done for me. I appreciate every little effort just to make me happy. I know that it feels good to be appreciated.

hi airsheila I do not know your mom, but cpuld she have just not b een feeling well and any little thing just irritated her ? Or maybe she thought you were looking for a kind word for what you did and was being contrary. I would have ignored it and the next time just serve it on an ordinary small plate and do not appear to be wanting any thanks. Some moms get cranky ion their older years which is sad and hard on the whole family. My dad was the cranky one and we all tiptoed around him like walking on coals in case he started insulting us. I finally left him to his sour elderly years. I know now one does not have to be like that when elderly. I smile and laugh and am happy as life is good. I thank all who help,u me here daily. I feel happy and they feel happy too. It is all in one's attitude as one grows older.

I like your thread, airasheila. This just happened to me. My husband gave a few suggestions to one common friend, 2 months had passed and still no words from him. To make my story short, he did not acknowledge my husband's effort to help him. What really pissed me off was when he said it was "unnecessary"! Come on, you! What a polite person that could be, huh?!

I read in an interesting book about harnessing your own happiness, that most of us needs the usual pat in the back as well the gold star for the efforts we dispelled unto other people. In that book, it was discussed that we need to be in the frame that we do things for ourselves and not for other people so we wont feel bad if our efforts are our not recognized. You prepare food for your mother because it made you happy to serve her, not because you want to do things for her. Serving her makes you happy. Its a weird analogy but one that I found quite interesting

No its not hard to show appreciation,butmaybe your mom at that time is not in good mood.We should understand them because of the things they are thingking a lot on family problems they forget to appreciate what on our effort.and they dont see we need it too.You can talk to her properly an say those words to her,so she will understand and realise it.And not making more misunderstanding between you and her.

I don't know. i think it is because they don't find it worth the time and energy? Or perhaps they take everything for granted? Can also be they don't have the same values as you (if it's nice to see it does taste better). I know as I was staying over at one of my grannies during holidays my dad gave me money to buy her some flowers or plant as thank you. As I gave it to my granny she said: why you waste money on that. She was not happy at all. I was about 7 years old or so. I always found it hard after that to give her something.

maybe your mom is just thinking about the effort you put in preparing for it. I do not know your mom, but I'm really sure that our moms see all the little effort we do although sometimes they do not show it directly.. think it that way so you will not feel bad about your mom.