Should i trust him?
By 345042441
@345042441 (130)
China
January 26, 2012 9:25pm CST
The other day i woke up at about 3 am and could not fall asleep any more. I just did not know what happened to me those days. So i just got up and got my laptop. I planned to surf the internet to kill the time.
This laptop was bought by me before i got married. After i got married it is my husband who has been using the laptop all the time and i just use the desk computer home since my husband works in another town kinda far from me.
When i found my husband's chatting software was with password i just logged into it by curiosity. I checked his conversation with someone else and i was shocked. He was flirting with a women on the internet and it seems he just forgot to delete the conversation record right that day...
i just feel very angry and went to the bedroom he was in and asked him to get up. He got up and did not know what happened. I asked him to see the words he said to that woman on the internet. He was speechless. He just begged me to forgive him, standing there, naked and poor.
i was crying and crying, he could not stop me. Well, if not that i get pregnant i will really think about divorce...I has ever been hurt by a guy like him who was flirting with someone else online from time to time and never change. But i know my huband loves me, and thats his loose time period in mind...
he begged me to forgive him. I said what if i not because i wont believe in you any more in the future. He said, you can just check what i will do in the future. so i give in though still feel confused and hurt.
What will you do if you catch your husband flirting with someone else on the internet? will you divorce with him? Will you forgive him? If you could and will you still have trust on him in the future?
2 people like this
16 responses
@tatzkie23 (770)
• Philippines
27 Jan 12
i'm sorry to hear that. I know how you feel. I don't know why most guys are like that. They're already married and yet still flirting with other girls. That is no no for me. If he really do loves you, He would not do anything that will hurt you. What if you didn't catch him chatting with someone else? I think that he will just continue doing that. He will start to tell lies. He will start to make excuses. I hate people doing that to their love ones. Well, anyways, i hope that you're ok now.
I hope that he'll be good and not to hurt you anymore. If that happened to me, I'll do the same. I will cry and cry. And i'll tell my husband, if he doesn't want me anymore, just tell me. I don't want to live with his lies. And if he ask forgiveness, Well, i think i'll still forgive him, but i think that he cannot
@345042441 (130)
• China
27 Jan 12
Its really difficult to have trust on him but i have no other choice.
As we dont divorce, as we are still in love, i would just do it and see how he proves it in the future.
@Harrymon12 (82)
• Philippines
27 Jan 12
You know what.. Here's my advice, in a relationship, it is not important whose wrong or right.. The important thing is who is ready to forgive.. Maybe your husband just wanted to have something to do with his time, bored or something but not with you.. He just want to explore the internet world..
Just remind yourself that he loves you, that is why he married you..
His saying of sorry to you means that he really loves you...
@345042441 (130)
• China
27 Jan 12
we have been married for only about half a year so we are like still in a hot relationship, and thats why i could not imagine he could do something like that to me. It just happened and i had no choice but forgive him for this time due to a lot of reasons, but i will not forgive him if he does it for a second or third time. If he doesnt know how to cherish the relationship bettween us i will have to make it an end.
@Harrymon12 (82)
• Philippines
28 Jan 12
yeah that's love.. heheheh.. That you were with him to love each other..
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
27 Jan 12
I don't think I would divorce him. But I think it would take awhile before I would trust him again. I don't think living far away or being bored are excuses for behaviour like this.
@345042441 (130)
• China
27 Jan 12
Thats really what i am afraid of to find out in the real life. I would not investigate more for this time but i will keep an eye on him. If he dares to cheat on me for a second time i would not give him another chance though it might mean my life will be ruined.
@sumatix (257)
• United Arab Emirates
27 Jan 12
Hi dear,
i can very well understand your mental state and the way you have been hurt.But yes i will like to suggest you to wait and watch for some time.it may be that your husband is flirting as a fun activity as many people do on net but he is not at all serious and as you said that he works away from you so it can be just a way to ease himself..he must be missing you..
I will suggest you(if i can) to move to his place if it is possible so the distance between you both is gone and you both will have a nice opportunity to gell along well.I will suggest you(if i can) to give him a chance but yes keep an eye on him as now trusting him blindly would not be possible..
@345042441 (130)
• China
27 Jan 12
There is no way for me to shorten the distance between us. I think even though we are close to each other he could also cheat on me if he is that kind of person. But i will give him a second chance as people said everyone deserves a second chance and i will just wait and see if he could really make changes for me and to be a responsible man.
@mhimi_viduya (140)
• Philippines
27 Jan 12
GOOD DAY!
actually my boyfriend did the same thing to me too.. I also found out that he exchange some flirty messages to his ex ,, I'm really upset because I've never imagined that they are still talking while I was asleep,, I confronted him and ask why did he do that and decide to end our relationship, we are separated for almost a month,, but I've realize that he is just a human who is not perfect.. everybody can make mistakes that's why I forgive him,,
Its up to you sis,, If you feel that your husband still loves you,, then gave your forgiveness to him and move on :)
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
28 Jan 12
Personally I would be Hurt and confused. I would be like asking myself and him a lot of questions for sure. He may try and play it off as an accident, but if he did not want you to see this he would have closed the conversation or deleted it. Personally I am not sure what you are supposed to think, but counseling might be in order for starts. Wishing you the Best.
@345042441 (130)
• China
27 Jan 12
its not a good idea to talk about it with my parents. I would feel embarrassed, so does him. I would just give him a SECOND CHANCE and see if he could really change himself for me.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
27 Jan 12
Yes trusting him would be very hard after that. You can give him sometime and check on him like he said. If you are ready to forgive and move forward that is a good thing. But it is not going to be easy to forget. I hope that he doesn't break your trust again.
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
28 Jan 12
hi there, Its really to bad that he hurt you so...but I'll bet
his job on the fact that he dosen't do it again..I am sure he
was just flirting because it sounds like he really loves you.
If you love your husband, please give him another chance..give
him chance to prove himself...Its going to take a lot of time
for him to gain your trust...but if you love each other its
worth the chance...
After all we all make mistakes...how smart is he anyway, using
your computer like you will never get on it again...wow and if
you think it never got beyond flirting..its not so bad...he was
just searching for attention and got more than he bargained for...
Make him earn your trust.....Good Luck!!!!
@Flashpointer (784)
• Philippines
27 Jan 12
Well it is the first time right, right? Maybe just give him for a second chance. If you caught him again flirting with somebody else, you need to decide if you take that choice of divorcing him or not.
@Luciano63 (157)
• France
27 Jan 12
Cool down! First cool down internet is also this, it is about curiosity and gaming. Yes sometimes it is fun and interesting to get cought in such chat, however is this a reason to think of divorce? No! First question is why? Try to understand if your husband has some fantasies that you don't know about, or maybe some stuff that it is not possible to share with you because of your role or cultural figure you are in his head given also by your behaviour. How much do you really know each others inside? I do not know the conversation but maybe it is just about a game that stimulates his fantasies...can you be that kind of partner too? If yes than just do it and he will be happy. You are the reality internet is virtual!
@inemboy (23)
• Kuwait
27 Jan 12
Oh, that is really a sad situation. But if i may ask, why would you want to divorce your husband just cuz he flirted? My question is, do you really love him? If you do, i don't think divorce is the solution to that problem. Maybe that happened for a reason. We all are human beings. That was a mistake. You should forgive him, and let him know his mistakes. I think as a responsible man he should correct that mistake. However, divorce is not the best option. You may end up in regrets.
@King_Josh (25)
• United States
27 Jan 12
To me, it just depends on how many times he's done this. Everybody deserves a second chance to me. If you love him, I would sit back and let him prove himself to you. Me being a man, I can say we do miss up. But if he married u he must really love you. With all that said, whatever you do just make sure it's what you want. You dont wanna lose something great over something so coman and simple.( meaning man gone be man). For instance sometimes I catch myself checking woman out when I'm not even really trying to, it's just a bad habit..
