My Girlfriend and her Facebook admirer should I be worried?

@rhodzptc (1317)
Philippines
January 28, 2012 11:30pm CST
Just a few days ago my Best friend Tony have opened me this question about her girlfriend having an admirer on facebook and they keep chatting most of the time though the girl is very open to my best friend still it bothers him. Back then I don't know what advice should I give to him because I don't want to give my friend a reason to doubt her girlfriend because in my own point of view if you trust her don't doubt her but what this girl doing is that she is entertaining that admirer of her and it gives other meaning for that guy. Don't you think that it's wrong to chat with someone who admire and talking personal matter even though you tell it to you boyfriend the fact that you are chatting with the guy is wrong, am I right or just being selfish?
2 people like this
14 responses
@shibham (16977)
• India
29 Jan 12
Here in mylot, i get some female friends (married and unmarried) with whom i talk over phone and no one gets disturbed. So, the main matter is what type of conversation is going on. Tell your friend to give a look on the conversation, if its just friendly then i think there is no doubt to have in. have a nice time.
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
Well according to my friend the guy and her girlfriend are talking personal matters and some serious conversation, that's kinda suspicious for him because how could her girlfriend open up some personal matters to a guy she never met right? What do you think?
@shibham (16977)
• India
29 Jan 12
Then its odd, personal matters, nope. Tell your friend to ask her politely to stop those nonsense if she does not care, then better to leave her.
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
30 Jan 12
Well that's the advice that first comes out from my mind but I don't have the guts to tell it to him because I know that might cause them and argument.
@himzey (1321)
• India
29 Jan 12
I too secretly admire many girls on facebook.. so.. should their boyfriends be worried about it...?? ammm...I dont think so...
@himzey (1321)
• India
29 Jan 12
Phew...I looked at your avatar and read the discussion's heading 3 times. But don't worry every thing was crystal clear when I read your first sentence.
@himzey (1321)
• India
29 Jan 12
haha... So you got me all figured out.. huh... good job..
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
Did you get confused by the title of my discussion? I know what you thinking at! hahahaha
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
29 Jan 12
Well, I think that you have every reason to be jealous, and she shouldn't talk to her admirers and entertain him like that, that just totally wrong. She shouldn't forget to have her boyfriend too. There is one Hispanic girl in my facebook page, she has gorgeous body and beautiful face. But she never give wrong impression on her admirers though. She clearly stated in my page that she has boyfriend, and she will be loyal to him.
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
That is what exactly I'm thinking but how could I tell it to my friend with out using any offending word like flirting. I couldn't tell to my friend that what her girlfriend is doings?
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
30 Jan 12
If the girl is entertaining that admirer, then your friend has something to worry about. Be honest with your friend and give him your sincere advice. Tell him to talk it out with his girlfriend, ask her about this FB admirer of hers, is she intends to take their relationship to another level, etc. He should not be afraid to know the truth. Let the girl tell him honestly if she is considering junking him for that new admirer of hers. She is not yet married to him so she has the right to choose the right man, but your friend should know where he stands so he won't be wasting his time and won't have a broken heart.
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
30 Jan 12
What you said is right, I think I should your phrase there "she's not married yet and so she has the right to choose the right man" This words would help me give and advice to my friend.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
29 Jan 12
I think if the girl is very open, this is a very bad way of her bf to treat her. What more does he want as a gf who is open and not hiding anything. You can't help getting admires on the internet, and as I understand she is not doing anything secretly. Also I doubt if her bf, if he had some girs admiring him, would be so open to tell her (plus his feelings for these girls). What more do you want as a honest gf? Is this the way he rewards her?
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
Just come to think of it why would my friend gf is making a conversation to this guy knowing that this guy admire her? If for the girl that doesn't mean nothing but entertaining the guy gives other meaning to her admirer. If I were the admirer I would think that she likes me too because she spend time talking to me right? Yes! she doesn't know the guy and she wanted to know him well meaning she is interested with him? How does cheating get started? With simple friendship like chatting and talking then they will get those feelings that they like each other. If she really love my friend then better not to entertain the guy right?
@tatzkie23 (770)
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
As you said, It was her admirer? so i think there is something to be worried about. why would the girl still entertains someone like his admirer? if she's already have a boyfried? And they keep on constant chatting? Oh no. I don't have nothing to say, if her boyfriend really trust his girlfriend, It's for him to find that out.
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
As a friend he seeks advice to me because I'm a girl too and I know what her gf is trying to do but the problem is that I don't want to cause any trouble to their relationship if I give a comment with my friend problem. He is my best friend and I don't to see him someday wasted because she was dump by her girlfriend who cheated him. I don't prejudge her girl friend but the way I see it she was interested in that admirer of her because she even spend time of chatting and the fact the she entertain the guy shows the proof... We girls like to be admired but we never make friendly with and stranger knowing that he like us. At this point nothing bad about it but it times those friendship will become more than I am expecting when this guy try to ask her for an eyeball.
@kaylachan (69331)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
30 Jan 12
Personally I wouldn't be overally concerned. If you're sending some mixed signles, then that's something to be concerned about, but as long as their is an open and honest relationship, I don't see why not. There is no harm in having different kinds of relationships, friendships and what not as long as singnels aren't getting crossed and you're not leading someone on.
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
1 Feb 12
I don't think anyone should have an admirer on FaceBook or any website for that matter. If they are friends for a certain game or task thats one thing, but to start a relationship up online while you're in a real life relationship is wrong. Maybe the thing she has with this online guy in innocent, but I think she should stop it. And, on FaceBook it is real easy to cut someone off.
@tiina05 (2317)
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
hello, You are right. If she is not interested in this guy why she keep on entertaining it? I think the girl is wrong though she open it to her boyfriend. I know this is a really difficult situation because i think the girl like flirting at all. But on the side of the guy he should still try to understand his girl friend if he really love her. Right? tell to your best friend that your girl friend must know her exception in chatting that admirer.
• Kuwait
29 Jan 12
haha, if you would ask me, i would be jealous. haha. it is a good thing that his gf tells him about it. but that closeness would give me a reason to fear. hahaha. there is no question that someday her gf would be gone. If his gf and that admirer would meet up, haha. goodluck with your bestfriend.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
30 Jan 12
Yeah she shouldn't be talking with someone like that regularly when they admire her and are interested in her. He should tell his girlfriend that he doesn't feel comfortable about her talking with him so often. She is in a relationship and she should respect how he feels. I hope things improves for him.
@eljayo (1105)
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
Hi! You should ask her why is she chatting with her. I think its not proper for her to be doing that. She is insinuating something to her admirer and might give her false belief. Its not wrong to be polite to your admirer just know where you stand when you have a partner. Respect your partner's feeling because you may hurt him'her not knowingly.I hope she will realize that.
@shimi18 (98)
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
I also believe that the girl shouldn't give much attention to her admirer, it may mean nothing to her, but it may mean a lot to her admirer. and i also think that she's kinda flirting with the guy, a girl wont entertain someone when she knows that, that guy likes her. being friendly with the guy is okay, and that's good, but chatting a lot with that guy, is a sign of flirting.
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
that what comes to my mind that is why I don't give any comment to my best friend because I don't want to give him an idea that her girl might be flirting. It's hard to give opinion most specially if their relationship might at risk.
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
It would be alright for me if they are just talking like friends do but if she (your best friend's girl) is flirting with him (the admirer) and he obviously takes pleasure on it, then that is a different story. Girls love attention, and I presume that she enjoys the attention this Facebook guy is giving to her. Maybe your best friend does not compliment her much or does not spend much time with her that's why she is using her admirer to make your best friend jealous. Whatever the reason is, if this girl is entertaining the admiration of that Facebook guy, then there must be something the is wrong in their relationship (your best friend and his girlfriend). They should have a talk about that and try to fix it.