Not sure what to do?!?

United States
January 29, 2012 12:52pm CST
Last night my boyfriend and I got into a discussion about feelings and where things are going for us and it ended up with him telling me he has very deep feelings for me and he could see us together in the future. I do want this but I've said those three little words to him and he has yet to vocalize them. He says that he is afraid of getting hurt and can't say them. This morning I get a text from him saying he loves me. When I responded to the text he has yet to say anything back. What should I do? Any ideas or insight as to how to deal with a man with partial I guess committment issues? Not sure if it's the responsibility of saying it or if he is really just genuinely scared to say it. Please help!
9 responses
@jazzyrae (1745)
• United States
29 Jan 12
I am young and all 18 but i know what love is when me and my boyfriend got together he told me that he loved me it took me months to tell him i loved him and finally i said it people will say those three words when they are ready. You dont want to rush or force emotion because when your partner decides it is time to say it and not be afraid anymore it will be truly magical :) good luck in your relationship
• United States
29 Jan 12
Thank you Jazzy. I appreciate the input. Good luck with your relationship as well. I believe that young people do believe in love and know what it is and probably actually fall into it easier than older people do. I am going to just give him a chance to get it out eventually and see what happens when he does.
@jazzyrae (1745)
• United States
30 Jan 12
Exactly love is a serious word.
@jazzyrae (1745)
• United States
30 Jan 12
@kx2mommy I'm glad I could help everything will work out the way it is supposed to just relax and see what happens
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
30 Jan 12
Just slow down a a bit and give him time. If he is texting it that means he is at least thinking along those lines. You have said it and he knows how you feel and he has stated that he sees you together in the future. Just be patient.
• United States
30 Jan 12
Thank you very much Shelly, actually last night we kinda solved this problem because while I was on the phone with my friend he just blurted it out and I was like what did you just say to me??? He repeated it and everything seemed fine after that. He seemed more content.
@maezee (41988)
• United States
30 Jan 12
I guess i would just suggest to wait things out and see what happens. Some people are afraid of trusting others, yes, for the fear they might get hurt in the process. Saying it over text is progress - although it would be nice I guess for him to say it in person. I guess though if he feels deeply for you and can see your relationship becoming long-term, what more is there to it? Do you really need someone to say "I Love You" to solidify the relationship?
• United States
30 Jan 12
No I didn't need him to say it. I guess I just wanted him to say it so I knew he felt the same way that I did. But he has now said it and seems much more relaxed since he said it like a weight has been lifted.
@fannitia (2167)
• Bulgaria
31 Jan 12
As we see, everybody have pretty much the same opinion. But you are the one who knows best the situation. If the only problem is that he is scared to say the three words, then forget it. But you should ask yourself what you have in common with him. Do you speak the same language, can you rely on him in urgent situations? If the answers are yes, don't worry any more. I wish you good luck.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
29 Jan 12
Some people say I love you every 10 minutes. You can ask yourself if these words still mean the same if you say (or hear) it so frequently. To others it's harder to say so because to them these are not just words. Saying these words means a lot to your bf that is clear to me. I think he sees a whole life scenario if he says them. It's overwhelming to him and he has to find a way to find peace with all those feelings and give them the right place. As he already told you he is afraid to be hurt. Clear is he has very deep feelings for you. If you are able to feel this too, if he is able to express his feelings in other ways I think these 3 little words are just peanuts. He did text them to you, there will be a time he will say them too. I hope you will cherish them, since his 3 little words mean way more as when other people are saying them so frequently.
• United States
29 Jan 12
Thank you! I know they mean alot to him and with knowing everything he's told me about past relationships I can understand why he might be afraid to say them, it just seemed odd to me though that he went ahead and texted it to me instead of saying it. Maybe by texting it, it meant a little bit less than saying it outloud. I know he's not just looking for a part time girlfriend he's looking for someone to settle down with, marry and raise a family with. He's told me that many times.
• China
30 Jan 12
Still remember the songs, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I CAN SAY? Possibly, he loves you very deeply. Don't be so sensitive. You see, love creates wonders and love bears everything. Just hold you happiness and enjoy every wonderful moment with him.
• United States
30 Jan 12
Thank you he actually made the giant leap last night and said it to me while I was on the phone. He seemed much more at ease after saying it though.
@mariamac (145)
• India
30 Jan 12
Well for me it looks like he is not into you dear. One always has this feeling deep in you, a voice which tells you if its right or not, some say it intuition, some might say sixth sense, something which you alone can feel for yourself, follow that voice. If it says yes stick to it. if not go ahead in life, the sooner the better coz the pain too would be less. take care dear
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
30 Jan 12
sometimes it is really hard to express emotions as the only right way to do it is by sincere animation of body parts or even sequences of action that corresponds to voluntary expression of affection, compassion, sympathy or happiness... in short, action speaks louder than words, lol!
@deodavid (4150)
• Philippines
30 Jan 12
hey there Kx2sMommy, Well me being a guy understand his position it is truly the responsibility behind it that scares us if we can meet what you want us guys to meet once we say it, but if he really does love you he should say it because it is better to say the words than loose you because of not saying it.