If you love a wrong person it is already stupidity?

January 30, 2012 11:12pm CST
I'm in a relationship right now which is very complicated. .sometimes i feel that i want to give up. .i taught to myself that it is not the right thing to do specially if you love someone that much..
2 people like this
14 responses
• Philippines
31 Jan 12
thats what you call love it hurts much but in the end you will realize you just love the person so much because you understand now what love is...
• United States
31 Jan 12
My boyfriend and I were friends for years before we started dating. About six months before our relationship began he was dating another woman and he insisted that he was in love with her. When she ended their relationship, he called me devastated. I asked him to look at their relationship and tell me if he loved her or if he loved the way she made him feel about himself. He realized that he loved the way she made him feel more than the person she was. Now that we are dating, he tells me he has realized the difference between infatuation and love. I have also experience both. I love my boyfriend, and will more than likely marry him. Does he make me angry and annoy me? All the time, but I know that I love him enough to accept him faults. I have found infatuation is generally more selfish. Loving a person selflessly is different from loving the way a person makes you feel about yourself. In the past, when I have questioned if I love a guy, I have found the best way to tell is to ask myself this question: Do I love him enough to put his happiness above my own (and this includes letting him go to ensure his happiness)? With my boyfriend now, the answer would always be 'yes'. With past infatuations, it would have probably been 'no'. Past infatuations had more to do with my own low self-esteem and pride. If a guy left me, I would obsess over why...not necessarily because I missed him, but because he had wounded my pride. It's common practice for me to question the love my boyfriend and I have, because I don't want either of us to be deprived. I love him enough to know that, if our relationship has problems, I want to try and fix it or end things so he can find someone that does make him happy. Love, inevitably, will almost always be selfless. I hope you can determine the difference and find a path that makes you happy.
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
1 Feb 12
asheverlasting, your response is so true. So many people don't understand the true meaning of love. True love is not selfish. When a person truly and unconditionally loves someone else they will put that person's happiness above their own.
@bubuth (1815)
• Philippines
31 Jan 12
For me no one is stupid because you are inlove. I think every person are going through that situation when they deeply inlove with someone else. Me,when it comes to love,i really don't know what is the right decision for my relationship if there is a problem. Sometimes i want to end up the relationship but i also think that i must overcome the problem. Just always think positive..
2 Feb 12
Yes,like what i usually do"Think positive" and just go with the flow..
@shylade (3132)
• Philippines
1 Feb 12
i think not. it's hard to talk about love especially when you are not in that situation. there's a reason why the two of you met and fall in love. i think its not stupidity. you love him much right? if things fall apart now, God has a purpose for it. that you have to find. pray hard because nothing is impossible to God. goodluck girl!
@Cutie18f (9546)
• Philippines
1 Feb 12
Yes, I think there is a bit of stupidity in loving someone too much. We should learn to control our emotions because there is actually no person who deserves to have all our attention and energy. We also need time for ourselves and other people.
@yahnee (1243)
• Philippines
4 Feb 12
I am also in a complicated situation in my relationship and I also ask myself if I am stupid or a fool. However, can you teach the heart whom to fall in love with? Sometimes, we know we are opening ourselves to more pain and heartache but still we cannot turn our back on the relationship because of the thing we call love. I am thinking a lot about the situation I found myself in but I simply cannot find myself to get out of the relationship even if the complication is killing me. I know you feel the same that it is not right to fall so much but is there any other way? I have lots of doubts on myself if I am still sane.
• China
1 Feb 12
I love a girl for many years, but she did not. One day i tell her that how much I love her. Then i hurt. One say that love is blind. It may true. I never regret. Because i love her. She happy,i happy. Stupidity? Maybe.
• Southend-On-Sea, England
31 Jan 12
I don't think it's stupid, as we can't help who we fall in love with. The feeling is just there, regardless of how right or wrong the situation may be. Sometimes the strength and power of love causes us to go against our previously held morals and convictions. I personally don't think it's ever wrong to love, but sadly in an unsuitable situation, someone will inevitably get hurt.
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
1 Feb 12
I don't want to complicate the situation but I suggest if your still not marriage time to think about it. Because if you turn back when marriage that is also a dangerous actions being made due to violate the sanctity of marriage...better get off this time if the relationship did not materialize to avoid any worse events in your life... But if you still love the man better to talk with him about the matter that your arguing so that both of you settle any problem that being argued about? Tell to him what is going on and what your grievances to him. If he want to settle it and accept his mistakes that is good and talk the things that may embolden your relationship and avoid any misunderstanding in the future...
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
31 Jan 12
That's love, complicated,hurt and sacrifice. if you really love someone, you will always find a way and fight for it. If you believed that person is the right one, no matter what the world sees/says- fight for it and live with it. That's love, that's true love.
• Philippines
31 Jan 12
theres no stupid person when it comes to love. we just follow what we think will make us happy and we will only be stupid perhaps if we ignore someone we love without letting the know we love them. bing in love is not about being happy all the time as in love you will also the most painful feelings you could ever imagine though what matter is to be strong and to to fight for it, now if you think that theres nothing to fight for then we left no other choice but to let go.
@sanofer (525)
• India
31 Jan 12
if you really love that guy so much,dont think about giving up. Make him feel that you are everything for him. Make him understand that you love him so much. Prove him your love by doing something he likes. Dont expect something from him. Show your love towards him without expectation. He will automatically change and start loving you madly. All the best for your relationship
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
31 Jan 12
To love is not wrong. Wasting your love, time and energy to someone who doesn't care, takes it for granted or treats you like a piece of trash is stupid. I think most relationships will be complicated sooner or later. How complicated and if there is a solution/way out is up to you. But I do believe that if you both can't find a solution for it this love will kill you in the end.
@arjunm (439)
• India
31 Jan 12
By reading your words I think you are in problem.... all relations have some problem but if you think your problem s seriously creating a big issue in your love then clearly tell all the point to your partner which irritates you.
• Philippines
31 Jan 12
Being stupid for your love is not a crime, but it should have limitations. If you think that you are loving the wrong person right now, you should wake up before it's too late. When you love someone, it does not mean that you give it your all right away because it has to bloom. It takes TIME. You have to understand that love exist only if the two of you work it out through good times and bad times. Try to talk it over and maybe something might be bothering him or he's just plain busy and hopefully not with someone. True love is when you shed a tear and still want him. It's when he ignores you and you still love him. It's when he loves another but you still smile and say "I'm happy for you", Are you ready to say this to that person you love so dearly right now? Sometimes we just need to be with someone who brings out the best in us...not give us HEADACHE or HEARTACHE.