How do you react when a member of the family is mean to another member?

In psychology, That terms as DISPLACEMENT- is an unconscious defense mechanism whereby the mind redirects effects from an object felt to be dangerous or unacceptable to an object felt to be safe or acceptable. And what you stated is an example of that. Another example is that if a woman is confronted by her boss. Her boss begins yelling at her in front of other employees. Rather than, confront her boss about the outburst, she returns home and spews at her children. She enters the home in a bad mood. Even though the children had nothing to do the situation, she feels more comfortable expressing her frustration to them. This kind of conduct is not beneficial and can be quite harmful to the children. We humans tend to do that one way or another, I remember when i had a bad day at work or school, and when i got home, i'll yell at the dogs or try to kick them. LOL. or sometimes, when somebody talks to me, i don't answer back or else i will yell at them. LOL. As you said, i think that we should deal with our own problems, and not to let our anger to innocent people.

Then, I'll be pissed to those who started to be mean. This usually happened to us when my two of my brothers would fought. But, I think what you are referring to in this discussion is that when one person hurts other especially those who are under them. This is a defense mechanism called displacement. One is transferring his hatred instead to those he hate he routed it to those person under him.

I would be pissed and defend the one that's being harassed, especially if that person is a younger siblings or someone who can't defend themselves and it's not even their fault to begin with. That person might be bigger or stronger but that doesn't I can just watch and do nothing.

when things like this happen, i usually would step in and try to resolve the issue at hand, although it really is a painstaking task of trying to rectifying things especially as there would be instances of being mistakenly branded as bias or taking sides.. but surely the aggrieved party would be my priority..

This usually happens when people are angry that they direct their anger to those who are defenseless. I could say that people like this have low coping skills in dealing with their problems and tend to blame it to others. They should seek help and should have a strong support system like their families or friends.

It doesn't happen really in our family (me and the kids). We all are straight and the others know. So you accept is and you are free to give your opinion if you like. I think everybody is listening to the other, but there is no need to agree or follow up the adviceds someone else gives to you. Perhaps the way we communicate or say things straight sounds mean in the ears of someone else? If it would really be mean (also hard to believe since my kids are very social and attentive and mostly people are mean to them) I would jump in between. But only if they are not able to do it themselves. The thing is: you will meet a lot of mean people in your life and you need to find a way to deal with it and defend yourself.

Yes its true! I also feel very sad for those innocent family members to be treaten like that.

It shouldn't actually be done even outside of the family. When we have problems, we shouldn't take it out on anybody, period. If this had happened to a member of my family, I would've intervened immediately before things get really out of hand.

There will be a lack of comfort for sure. There are no disputes that are worse in life than a disputes in between family, when family is rather mean and when people snap at family members. Whether it be children or adults, it is really not something that is really fun and can be potentially problematic, as you sit there, witness to everything. Yeah its not fun. And its bad no matter how the circumstances fall. Family members should in theory get along and be nice to each other. That is the theory to say the least, but it is one that might not be observed as well as we hoped. Much to the disappointment and the depression of many people involved. Family disputes are the ugliest ones of them all.

Yeah, it feels bad....i feel very bad when there is a situation like this. I get very upset and i agree that people should deal with their own issues.