thinking I can change him or her

Although I agree with you in part, I do however feel that we need to help the other person change. It's true that a person has to have the will and conviction to change, but as their partner, we must be there to encourage them, stand by them throughout the process. And sometimes they don't know that they need to change and as such, we should try our best to make him or her realize it.

first I don't get it why you want to change the person once you are in relationship with them. I mean you must be with that person for who she/he is not for who she/he's not. I think making yourself stress out over that would do nothing. you can help that person to change. you cant change him/her. but you can help them. but quit thinking to change them I guess. enjoy your life, so if he/she is lucky, he/she would do just the same ^_^. happy mylotting.

That's exactly what the saying goes "we must change for the person we wanted to do some changes" But yes, it's not easy. No matter how we tried and adopt ourselves to make that person see and feel all the effort, if he/she doesn't cooperate- then it's useless. We can never force someone who doesn't know how to appreciate things around him/her. Those people are selfish- thinking only for themselves. So, the only thing we can do is pity them-understand them and pray hoping someday they will realize they're not the only one suffering.

yeah its true,,but for me in the relationship,we must not force our partner to change it as soon as possible,.we can say to our partner those things that we didnt want,and its up for your partner if he/she change.,but never tired to express to your partner to change,cause all the things in earth are changing.,and i believe even people change for the best,,

It's no good staying in a relationship with a person you think you can change. When it comes down to it, you won't be able to change a thing about them, the only way they'll change is if they become motivated to change. But maybe they'll become motivated by you and want to change and become a better person for you. Unless that happens, you'll have false hopes in thinking that you'll be able to change the things you don't like about a person. If you can't accept them for who they are, then you really shouldn't be together.

Yes it is. There is no way to change someone. A person will only change if he/she is willing to.

on the contrary, everything changes in life, nothing is permanent. in a relationship, we do change to adapt to what is needed, to compliment and appreciate, especially if the change would positively enhance one's perspective in life. sure, a person would only change if one is willing to, but to cause a change or encouraging change would surely make a difference.

hi! if you are going into a relationship because you want to change the person i guess for me it won't work. why get into when there is something you don't like in that person. well maybe.. if he does love you really, then he will do his very best to change. a person doesn't easily change especially when he thinks that what he's doing is right. no one can change a person when that person doesn't want to and you are right with that. i happened to do that before and i got same feeling, i feel really bad when they don't meet any of my expectation but my sister advised me not to live with so much expectation to the person i am with. let them be there self, and freely do what they think was right and let them realize their mistakes, besides they have their own unique way of showing how important i am to them.

it is right that "it is hard to change ourselves let zlone trying to change another person " to some degrees . matbe it is better that let some one feel some individuls are not welcomed to people except him or her ,and he or she ,even it will change himself ,herself,even itself like pet ,cat ,dog etc

We are not in a position to change someone, but we can influence them to do good and be better. It is really hard for us to accept the other person what we can only do is to accept them for who they are. As time passes by we can accept them for who they are.

It is not impossible to change a person, just as you said, if that person wishes to change. Then yes, there is a possibility that he/she can change as the desire to change comes from within. However, there are just bad habits and attitude difficult to break. :)

yeah you are right that we can only change any person if they have willingness for that change other wise whatever you do to change that person ,it all goes waste.and i am never try to change anyone because everyone got his own freedom why should i interfere in it.nobody is perfect ,everyone did some mistakes.i also don't understand why people forcefully wanted to change anybody.

I would agree. Changing someone can't be done by force but by their own decision. If its by force, it's just plain meaningless, just as you had just said, not genuine. Well, give them time perhaps? Be a good example, and show them through your actions. Well as they say actions speaks louder than words. They might understand if you show a good example. Well, that's what I think. Before changing others, change yourself first. No? Haha. Hope this helped.:)

Yeah, you're right. However, there are a lot of people who try to change others especially wives. They always think that their spouses are not good enough while others' are much better. So they make effects to change them to the one they want. No matter how hard they try, they finally end in failure. Because it's impossible. So change the thing you can, accept the fact if you can't and try to live better even others don't act the way you like.