same old story
By mariamac
@mariamac (145)
India
February 2, 2012 2:17am CST
My husband is otherwise a good man but when it comes to my side of the family, i don't know what happens to him. I have my brothers standing by him whenever we are in problems but when everything is good around, he starts nagging me to keep distance from them. He does not like them coming home, or spending time with us. He starts behaving funny with them. But his side of the family is never in the picture for good or bad but whenever they call or come(when they need some help) he is in high spirits and wants me to go out of my way to help them which i do so that he is happy. They are never there in his problems. I really feel sad for my brothers who are there for us no matter how my husband treats them because i am their only sister and we have lost our parents so we have this bonding between us. But because of my husband i am really tensed. He does not want to understand no matter how hard i try. Am i going wrong somewhere? is this only happening to me?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Luciano63 (157)
• France
2 Feb 12
You know when we marry we also (in a way) marry the bride's family (or hausband's one), however in many cases this is the thing that helps to creat tensions in the married couple.
First of all there are 2 cultures and education systems different from each others and they are in opposition because they are 2 different models and each one defends its own model...when the couple is alone in its family averything goes fine because they mediate between them...but when they are with their families all together then mediation is more difficult and each one has a different solution to propose. This creates contrasts and tensions.
@mariamac (145)
• India
4 Feb 12
So true. Thank you so much for explaining it to me, it really answers so many things doubts, as to why this happens. I just felt bad because I am all out there for his side of the family whenever they need us but why couldn't he too show the same respect for my family. But i guess again 2 different models and again 2 different individuals. I can't say just because i love your family you too have to. Its his call. I guess 2 is company 3 is crowd. Thank you once again for your time and advice. Really appreciate it.
1 person likes this
@lologirl2021 (5542)
• United States
2 Feb 12
Your not the only family to be like this. Im thankful that my boyfriend gets along with my family and im glad i get along wtih my boyfriends family. We all seem to get along, but now my mom and dad are different with alot of things in there two families.
Well my dad kinds gets along with my moms side of the family and we do more with my moms side of the family too. Now my mom does not get along with anyone on my dads side of the family there different and think alot different then my moms family would on things so they just dont see eye to eye on much at all. My dad brother is kind of a rude person and i really dont like to be around him much at all anyways and im glad i dont ever have to see him anyways. Makes life easier and were all good then.
@mariamac (145)
• India
4 Feb 12
You are lucky i guess. I know some of the extended families especially on the other side really get to our nerves but have to adjust. That's life. All fingers are not the same. But this is very common that our mom's side or the wife's side of the family is more supportive than the dad's side or to say the husband's side. I have witnessed this a lot. Thanks again for the reply and assuring me that i am not the only one going through this. It really helps me understand things better.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Mar 12
hi mariamac is your husband by any chance a bit jealous of the bond
you have with your brothers? He needs to realize you married him and he is the kingpin in your life. try softplaying things with your brothers at times just to make him see he is always first to you.of course he is at ease with his own family bit if you make
sure he is first in your life I think intime he will get used to your brothers and also like them maybe even love them.lol
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
2 Feb 12
Hi, Just relax as we can’t change or compel someone to change for our sake. So let him behave the way he wants as he’ll later realize and be friendly with all too. Also it is you he’s married and as long as he is taking care of you, be blessed & happy. Sometimes if we keep quite and do not complain about their nagging, they feel good. Me & my husband too get into heated arguments sometimes on the same issue…. but then I tell him why invite others between we two…. Take care and you always be nice to your brothers and enjoy the single sisterhood..... So happy now, as you are not alone in the boatride.. LOL
1 person likes this
@mariamac (145)
• India
4 Feb 12
Thanks for the reply. It feels better to know that i am not the only one going through this, so it is natural i guess for them to behave this way. as far as him realizing it later, i guess that is never going to happen. So i think the best thing for me is to leave it the way it is since i know now this is a common thing which others face as well. Thank you for your advice dear. It really helped me cool my anger.
