how did you cope
By C
@ShyBear88 (59347)
Sterling, Virginia
February 4, 2012 11:12pm CST
how did you cope with a lost of child that you where pregnant with?
I know first hand like a lot of women that its not easy dealing with a miscarriage or still born or even a baby that lived for a short while after being born. I've only had one miscarriage so far since I've became a parent. The one way that I coped with a lost of a pregnancy was getting a tattoo and my husband got the same one. Also finding out that I was still pregnancy still confused on that one but I've gotten pasted that part of the shock. It has helped to move on. Yes from time to time it still hurts since it still is fresh in my mind. I didn't have any ultra sound pictures or anything yet so I couldn't put them in our photo album or anything so that tattoo was the closest thing I could think of to remember my little one. Also spending time a lone with husband.
4 responses
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
7 Feb 12
I had a miscarriage right before my 2 year old was born. It was so hard to handle. I was so depressed and did not even feel like getting up in the mornings. It took me time to get over it. It helped that my SO was so supportive and there for me. If it is too bad medication might be needed. It has been a few years since my miscarriage so the memories are not as fresh. You have to just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
8 Feb 12
OK this is what you said...
"I've only had one miscarriage so far since I've became a parent."
I took this as you having a miscarriage. Now if you have had one, I am sorry for your loss. If you have not had one, congrats on the baby!
My miscommunication above about my miscarriage... I had one before I got pregnant with my now 2 year old.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
8 Feb 12
Above I said I was doing fine which I am. I also said that the doctor was unsure now that I had a miscarriage and that I'm still pregnant. Yes it does hurt but I wasn't that sad that it happened. Yeah it was almost Christmas but I had a daughter to take care of so I didn't let that affect me.
I think you might have meant to say it happened right before you child's second birthday.
I got a tattoo it helped with the process of moving on and it happened early on so there was no stronger connections with my second pregnancy yet.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
9 Feb 12
I know it suck's being told having a miscarriage. I'm sorry if I didn't make it clear some times I do that where I think I said something but then I didn't. I was told I had a miscarriage and then I found out that I didn't. I had some bleeding which was heavier then normal for when you have implantation but it turns out I was not as far a long as I thought I was so when they did the ultrasound's they didn't see anything. Well we did see something yesterday for sure but we knew where going to. I had another blood test done a few weeks later because I still didn't feel right so I figured it was nothing but I did a home test it came back positive then I did a blood test to confirm and it was right pregnancy.
@Blkqueen (85)
• United States
5 Feb 12
Hello,
Sorry for your lost. I to lost a baby a month ago. He was my first, he was born way too early at 24 weeks. He passed away 1 week later. Me and my b/f is taking it one day at a time. We are working on getting a tattoo together memory of our little boy. It still hurt when I see a little baby or hear about someone is pregnant or just had a baby. I have soo many questions that probably will never get answer. Why so early? Why did he had to pass? He had a strong heart through out the pregnancy, when I gave birth, when he was in the NICU those couple days. The worst thing that makes me feel hurt even more he passed on my b/f's b-day. So we taking it one day at a time, we both are two strong people and I know we will get through this.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
6 Feb 12
Well if you read above I also said that my we thought I had a miscarriage but my doctor is telling me I didn't. Well know body knows why a women goes in to labor early normally its because something is wrong with the baby and its the natural way of the body dealing with it. Even tho us the parents feel other wise things are okay and look okay to the doctor not all ways are things okay. I had my daughter at 35 weeks she was a preemie as well and thankfully she was strong and didn't have to go to the NICU. It'll be a mystery and harder as I've been told since you know what we where having and more of a bound already with your son. Yes do take it one day at a time. We got two little feet as our tattoo and if its true that my miscarriage wasn't a miscarriage and I'm still pregnant with the same baby then we are using the tattoo to say how much we love all of our kids and that they will always forever be loved by us there parents.
Take care now it'll get easier slowly over time and the next time you have a baby this one will be for keeps.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
7 Feb 12
My doctor is still unsure she told me I had a period before implantation took and I wasn't far enough for anything to show up on an ultrasound. But tomorrow I have one and I"m a bit nervous for it. We hope that I wasn't having twins and I lost one which is a possibility. Either way weather I had a miscarriage or not I deftly now how it feels and it sucks a lot more then anyone would think unless its happened to them.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
8 Feb 12
I've had to deal with two miscarriages in my life and while the first one didn't really have an immediate impact on me (I was only 19 years old at the time and in a relationship that I didn't think was going to last), the second one had a huge impact on me.
You see, at the time that I had my second miscarriage, Kathryn was two and a half years old and she really wanted to be a big sister. I miscarried completely while I was at work and actually saw my daughter.
The thing that has helped me to cope the most over the last almost seven years is the fact that my father passed away when I was a teenager and I see it as his having the opportunity to enjoy some of his grandchildren just like my mother has had the opportunity to do here with Kathryn and Paul.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
9 Feb 12
I'm happy that it helped. It helped me by just taking care of my daughter. It didn't help much but it kept my mind off of it and then having and a tattoo done. When I was told I was still pregnant with the same pregnancy I was happy but so confused I didn't know what to feel. I still hurt a bit because it sucks a$$ being told no your not having a baby and then hearing yeah you are.
@mauve02 (133)
• Philippines
6 Feb 12
sorry to hear that you lost your child. I hope that would not happened again. I never had miscarriage and I hope it will not happen to me, but if ever that happened I will just think that my baby is now with God and he/she will be happy and lucky that my baby has not experienced the cruelty of the world.
@ShyBear88 (59347)
• Sterling, Virginia
6 Feb 12
If you read closely above I said that we thought I had a miscarriage and my doctor now says that I didn't so I've been pregnant for the last 12 weeks with the same baby. Not a how sure of that finds are yet till my ultra sound this week. So we are treating it as the same pregnancy and not a different one. Actually 80% of the time women have miscarriage it just doesn't reach till the past 6 weeks and most women find out they are pregnant after 6 weeks when pregnancy signs start showing up because a lot of women dismiss implantation as a period since it'll normally happen around a time a period will happen so that means at least once in all women's life time they will have one or more.
