To rebuild a friendship or not
@arianne_mae_2012 (243)
February 5, 2012 4:01am CST
My former best friend and I had a falling-out five years ago. I can't exactly pinpoint a specific instance why we grew apart, but it all ended when she sent me this very long email saying that I was too clingy, among other painful thongs. I got so hurt, I withdraw socially and had hard time making new friends back then. I'm happy now and I've got new friends. I don't miss her and I don't miss her and i don't feel something's missing in my life. Then, last week, she called me up and said she wanted to see me again and catch up. It seemed like nothing wrong happened between us. But truth is, I don't even want to see her again. They say it's better to forgive and forget, but i just can't. I don't exactly hate her for what she did to me; I just don't feel like being with her again. Everyone else is telling me to give our friendship another shot. Should I? Please help!
1 person likes this
9 responses
@sayo13 (414)
• India
5 Feb 12
hello friend,
i can give advise but the rest is up to you and your feelings to her.
i think if your heart is not supporting you to get back to her then its better not to contact her anymore.
it may have some adverse effect on your friendship.and after so many years you never know what she really want from you.
but if your heart want to give her a chance then you should go ahead and contact her.any relationship which ended in bitterness will take a lot of effort and willingness to get back to normal again.
i think since you are peacefully settled in your present life, you should look forward not backward.
rest is up to you.
best wishes.
1 person likes this
@arianne_mae_2012 (243)
•
5 Feb 12
hi! you have a nice advice, i was thinking that also. I should not connect any communication, i lost amor for her as friend, although i forgive her already. But still she lose my trust on her. Ur advice is really appreciated.
1 person likes this
@micatolentino (66)
• Philippines
7 Feb 12
Hi there. For me I think you just misinterpreted her/his email.Your friend just proved that he/she is a true friend by telling you that even if he/she knows that it will offend you.Maybe,you should give your friendship another chance. I know it might be hard on your part but just try it. You'll see it will be one of the best decisions you will ever made. =)
1 person likes this
@longbangod (1785)
• Philippines
5 Feb 12
I think your friends is correct when they tell you to give your best friend another chance. I mean as what you have presented, there was really no specific and concrete reason which made you two go on separate ways.
Perhaps there was only a simple misunderstanding. So why not try to rebuild the broken bridge between you and your best friend? After all we are not here in this world to destroy bridges or to develop war against anybody. I believe that to collect or have more friends is one of our purpose in life, since being a friend implies one's intention to be of help to one another in any way possible.
@picjim (3002)
• India
6 Feb 12
No one should ask you to do something against your will and wish.If you feel you can forgive her its fine.But from the tone and tenor of your discussion she has hurt you deeply and you took time to erase those memories.Suddenly out of the blue,she decided to be good friends with you.You have got new friends, who care more for you and you don't feel her absence rightfully.You can make your feelings known through actions and words that she no longer has a prominent place in your life.I am saying this since you no longer feel like being with her again.You need not pay heed to all those who say you should give the friendship another shot as it was you who were hurt and suffered and not them.
1 person likes this
@joystick (1675)
•
6 Feb 12
My friend is having a problem like that at the moment.The difference is that this friend of mine has been getting bad mouthed by this other friend and it was not until the other night on here that she was told who was the liar a year ago to do with who said what to who and lets say, she will only talk to the other friend when she has to, other than that she aint going to see her like if she dont have to.The choice is yours, you could meet up and then leave it at that or say you will call them and if you dont want to call them, then you do not have to.
1 person likes this
@craziestqueenever (1819)
• Philippines
5 Feb 12
I'm currently in this kind of phase in my life. I do understand with what you feel right now. Me and my friend had a cold-war, I think it was 4 years ago, I said something that disappoints her. We are now friends, but we don't have the time to hang-out again. That kind of feeling is so awkward. I know it's hard but you should give your friend a chance. Just say YES to her that you'll be friends again, but never gave in easily.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
5 Feb 12
I don't think it should be about what others think you should do. If it were me, I might try to rebuild the friendship if I thought that I had missed the friendship and that we had a chance at being friends again.
1 person likes this
@flower21 (765)
• Philippines
5 Feb 12
t depend on you if you still have feeling for her. so every one of your friend like you to give her a second chance. give it a try would not hurt at the same time to give you an opportunity to test like a trial if she change now for the better and s really interested to you. by giving her a try you would know if you still has a feeling for her f none anymore . then you would just feel it and there is no need to pressure yourself to like her if your heart and mind tell you not to do so.
1 person likes this
@diala84 (138)
• United States
5 Feb 12
In the end you will have to decide how to approach this situation but in my opinion she may have some reasons for the way she acted and she may not realize how much it hurt you.
I don't know your situation but I think that it wouldn't hurt to send her a note or email telling her about how you feel about the incident and that you are resistant to wanting to talk with her again because of these hurt feelings. This may open communication to see why she wants to talk with you again and if she has regrets about how she reacted.
I know that when people are stressed or upset they may say the wrong thing at the wrong time. It would be good to see her intentions before dismissing her completely and to be the better person for telling her why you have doubts about meeting rather than not talking with her again.
1 person likes this
